The End
by Gweatherwax
Summary: A relationship breakthrough occurs when Sasuke finds out he really can't make himself kill Naruto, turning Naruto's carefully planned, socially acceptable life upside down at the same time Sasuke finally finds a way to reach inner peace... only to find himself dreaming of the usuratonkachi. CANON diverts from manga chapter 696. M for lemons, language, violence. NaruSasuNaru, Yaoi.
1. Bullshit behaves like a boomerang

**A/N**: Inspired by Uchihanochidori's BEAUTIFUL work "If You Were Mine", I decided to write my own take on what happens at the end of the manga and afterwards as of chapter 696 and forwards (And because I'm tying up all the loose ends in the Naruto universe on my Sage Wisdom saga, which deviates from the manga by chapter 672 and is thus a completely different story/universe, I'll only focus on Naruto and Sasuke's relationship on this piece).

Ain't gonna be a one piece, though, because I'm off my meds and that makes me prolific.

It ALSO won't be near as angsty and emotionally fulfilling as UchihanoChidori's work because **I write like a man** (a flaw I'm trying to correct but won't in this fic).

My characters will never be as beautifully complex and able to handle delicate feelings as hers because I am not like that, and neither are any of my male friends. I am a practical, simple, honest person who avoids drama like the plague and believes thoroughly that emotional issues and problems can be dealt with much easier if there is no bullshit involved, and that the hardest thing to break away from is inner homophobia (yep I had to deal with that like any queer person in the face of the Earth has to), which, for me, is the one thing keeping those two little shits from locking themselves in a room and fucking each others' brains out until the end of time.

Expecto comedia, tho. And divers alarum. And enough insults to make a fishmonger blush.

Please read and review, **my poor writing can't improve without your feedback**. Constructive criticism is hungered for.

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><p>They had fought for so long, they were reduced to trading sloppy punches and kicks by now.<p>

Not that that mattered when Sasuke finally dropped Naruto headfirst on a rock, and jumped on top of him, smacking his face over, and over, and over.

The blonde's face was a mess, broken nose, swollen cheeks, forehead covered in purple bumps. Naruto made a gurgling noise with his throat, and Sasuke raised his fist for the punch that would finally rip an artery and drown the blonde on his own blood.

He heaved, closing his eyes, but his arm wouldn't come down.

He snarled, pulled Naruto's collar with his left hand, and prepared again for the final punch, as the blonde's marginally less swollen eye opened a teary fraction. No way would Naruto give Sasuke the satisfaction of not having to see eye to eye with him as he died.

The punch never came.

Sasuke let him go and raised both fists to the sky, screaming in anger as he shook his arms in the air.

"Aaaaaargh! Why the fuck can't I **KILL** you, gods damn it? SHIT! FUCK! MOTHERFUCKING REBELLIOUS BODY! **OBEY ME**!" Sasuke hollered, scrunching up his face in obvious pain.

"Be... because…" Naruto coughed blood, and smiled beatifically, "I am your **_friend_**."

Sasuke's rants came to a screeching halt.

'Oh, no. Not **THAT** bullshit again. I might be a fucking pansy-ass coward that can't kill this fucking idiot _to save the damn world_, but not even I deserve **THIS**. Not after all I've gone through.' he thought, feeling his body tremble all over with renewed fury as his hands raked down his upturned face.

Nope, he realized as he balled his fists and bit through them. He really wasn't as strong as Itachi. Or as driven as Madara. Or even Obito. His mind was just too weak to overpower the gods damned _feelings_ he had for the usuratonkachi, and his body had again failed to obey it.

In retrospect, he probably should have seen it coming as soon as he made that half-assed decision to fight here, of all fucking places. His stupid brain had just combined with his raging hormones to sabotage his wonderful plans of forcing the ninja world into peace. And they had been such nice, good plans too.

But gods damn it all to hell, if he was going to fail and humiliate himself by acknowledging the inevitable – not only that he couldn't kill the retard, but that said retard wouldn't put him out of his misery; _noooo_, he had given the son of a bitch **plenty** opportunities to take him out but the sadistic motherfucker just would **not** spare him the humiliation, would he? – then he was at least going to do it all the way. No more bullshit. No more pussyfooting around. No more motherfucking _euphemisms_. He was **sick** of them.

Just as he set into that resolve, he felt chakra tingling around his optic nerves. Good ole reliable Uchiha eyes.

Naruto was looking at him with the same martyr expression when Sasuke lowered his face. The blonde probably didn't even register the revolving Mangekyou before he fell under the genjutsu.

Sasuke would've patted himself in the back if he weren't so fucking embarrassed of his weakness to the blonde ruining his plans. No matter, he thought as he quickly wove the signs and pulled Naruto's limp hand up for the final rat sign that would break the Infinite Tsukuyomi. If he knew the usuratonkachi – and if there was **one** fucking thing he was **absolutely sure of** in all his miserable existence, it was that _he knew that blonde piece of shit like the back of his hand_ – he'd be left alone after this.

The world would still be in the same sorry shitty state it had always been, he wouldn't have been able to prevent more children having their lives utterly destroyed by the political squabbles between clans, ninja villages and countries, but **GODS DAMN IT HE WOULD FINALLY BE FREE FROM THE USURATONKACHI AND ALL THOSE DISGUSTING ASSHOLES HE HAD EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET.**

It wasn't much, but it was a lot better than nothing, and Uchiha Sasuke was willing to save what little of his dignity he could still keep, right now.

He made a fist out of Naruto's right hand and shoved the index and forefinger of his left in, releasing the Tsukuyomi.

_Meanwhile, inside the genjutsu…_

Naruto gurgled as Sasuke grabbed his collar again and smashed their noses together.

"I do not love you as a friend, usuratonkachi. Or as a brother. If I did, you would have been dead as a doornail hours ago. I have been perfectly able to kill my own blood brother, remember that? You think I didn't love Itachi while I killed him? You think I killed him in fucking cold blood without a care?" Sasuke growled as he shook Naruto back and forward like a sack of potatoes.

Naruto by now was seeing four Sasukes in front of him, spinning. He nodded in general agreement, hoping the man would stop shaking his head back and forth, then quickly shook his head in response to Sasuke's menacing scowl.

It seemed to work, because Sasuke let go of his collar and even if his brain complained from the sharp pain when his head hit the rock he was against again, Naruto felt relieved to be able to open his mouth wide and try to force some much needed air down his battered trachea to his lungs.

Sasuke crossed his arms, still sitting on top of Naruto's stomach, and gave him a defying glare.

"But..." Naruto croaked after coughing up more blood, his throat wheezing with the effort to breathe, "You said I was your closest" he spit sideways, "friend…"

"Oh, you _are_ my closest friend, usuratonkachi" Sasuke said angrily, nodding, and then turned his head away, "What you _are_ has nothing to do with what I _feel for you_. You think I wouldn't be able to kill you if I didn't love you **more** than I loved Itachi? Shit, didn't you fucking understand it _yet_? What the hell did I come over here with you and make a fucking _thirty minute speech_ for? Didn't you fucking agree that _you knew_ what was in my damn heart just like I knew what was in yours?"

(Back in the real world, Sasuke got up and ran away so fast that he could feel his heels kicking his own butt. But he refused to cry as he ran.)

Naruto looked at the Uchiha quizzically. "Uh, yeah?" he asked, regretting it instantly, because Sasuke grabbed his jacket and pulled him up again.

"**THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING THAT HALF-ASSED FRIEND BULLSHIT, YOU GOIT?**" the Uchiha screamed at his face and started shaking him back and forth again, "I. DO. NOT. LOVE. YOU. AS. A. FRIEND! YOU. ARE. NOT. MY. BROTHER! **I. AM. FUCKING. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU**, YOU BLITHERING, WINDOW-LICKING, MOUTH-BREATHING, KNUCKLE-DRAGGING, SLACK-JAWED, RETARDED **NINCOMPOOP**!" Sasuke hollered, holding their faces close enough for his spit to hit Naruto's widening eyes as he screamed the last word, then let go of his jacket with a disgusted look on his face.

(In the real world, the sound of running feet could be heard approaching Naruto's still body.)

Naruto fell back, too stunned to say or think anything, looking at Sasuke's angry, heaving figure straddling him, outlined in the setting sun, as if seeing him for the first time.

Now, Naruto wasn't exactly a complete nimrod _per se_, it was just that he had always been so terrified of rejection that he often interpreted his own feelings in the more socially acceptable light. Gods knew he had had enough problems being accepted by his peers due to being Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, and if there was one lesson he quickly learned in his short life was that the only socially acceptable relationship between two males was simple, platonic friendship.

Kakashi's freaking out to the very idea of romantic love between men had quickly taught him the proper way to deal with that particular subject, no matter what Lee said that Gai had said, or that none of the other friends present had reacted the same way. Kakashi was the adult in the situation, so obviously he would serve as his role-model for acceptable behavior.

So his interpretation of Sasuke's feelings towards him had to be that Sasuke saw him as his best friend period, because they were the exact same feelings Naruto had towards Sasuke, and Sasuke was **_only_** Naruto's best friend, right? The only person Naruto had, er, _deeper feelings_ for was Sakura, right?

_Right?_

Because come on, he had **NEVER** felt love for Sasuke the way Sakura did, and Sakura surely **had** to love Sasuke for real, in a romantic sense, _right_?

Because romantic love was pure unrequited passion, the need to grab the focus of your attention and put it in your pocket and keep hugging it and make it yours no matter what, not being interested on knowing the person because you admire their character, and feeling challenged by interacting with that person, and trying to grow stronger and better to be recognized by that person, and doing your best to help that person be happy just to see them happy without having the need to own said person because their happiness has become vital to your own happiness, and the physical excitement and pleasure that ringed through your body just from being close to that person and knowing that what you felt for them was what they felt for you made you feel like you caught fire just because that was just a normal side effect of friendship, right?

**_RIGHT?_**

Hinata's confession scene at the battle with Pain sprung up on his mind.

_Oh._

Oh, **_shit_**.

All of a sudden those strange reactions he got from every single one of his friends, except Sakura, whenever he declared his disinterested friendship for Sasuke, made sense.

_Crap_, Hinata never pursuing him like Sakura pursued Sasuke after she had confessed her love for him at that battle made sense, now.

Hinata was in love with him, but she knew he loved someone else. And, because she knew that, she wouldn't stand in the way of his happiness, just like he had always stepped aside for Sakura when it came to Sasuke, because… because…

He had always been so deeply in love with Sasuke, he'd gladly do anything that made that bastard happy, even if it meant letting someone else have him.

Just like Hinata was so deeply in love with him, she'd gladly let someone else have him if that made him happy.

Problem was, he now realized that the reason behind Sasuke's constant rejection towards Sakura wasn't that the bastard shied away from her to deny himself a shot at romantic love.

Nope, Sasuke rejected Sakura because he really had never loved her or wanted to love her romantically at all.

Because Sasuke had been in love with Naruto the whole time. So much in love, in fact, he could never hope to achieve his plans of forcefully pacifying the world by becoming its most powerful enemy if it meant he had to be Naruto's enemy as well.

And he knew Naruto loved him back just as strongly.

And that is why even though he had tried to kill Naruto three times, he had never been able to, no matter how hard he tried to tell himself he had to. Just like Naruto had never been able to make himself accept killing Sasuke was an option, no matter how obviously insane the man was; just like Naruto had confessed to Sakura he wasn't trying to bring Sasuke back only because of his promise to her when he rejected her half-baked love confession to him.

That was also the reason he had brought up his promise to Sakura as his excuse for not killing Sasuke to everyone but Sakura, _especially Kakashi_.

(Back in the real world, Kakashi and Sakura had finally reached Naruto's still body, and Sakura was bending over him, crying, as Kakashi searched around trying to sense Sasuke's chakra signature.)

Naruto felt Sasuke bend quietly towards him with an expectant look on his face, supporting his upper body by bracing his arms on the ground beside Naruto's shoulders.

Naruto instinctively wet his lips, and reached for Sasuke's head when he heard his name being called softly.

"Naruto?"

He pulled Sasuke's face closer, and Sasuke looked at his lips, opening his own a fraction.

"Stay with me" was all Naruto heard before he closed the space between them, and kissed Sasuke's lips, closing his eyes.

He felt a startled gasp breaking the kiss, and whispered Sasuke's name, before he felt small hands shoving him back down.

He opened his eyes, and saw Sakura giving him a hurt look over her blushing cheeks.

Oh, _GREAT_. Motherfucking sneaky Uchiha had him under a genjutsu through his whole confession, and he had fucking _kissed Sakura by accident_, instead of the bastard.

"Uh, Sakura-chan…" he started, but was interrupted by Kakashi.

"Naruto, you're alive! Where the hell is Sasuke?" the former copy-nin asked, kneeling by his side at the same time Sakura stood up and turned away from him.

Naruto cleared his throat.

"He, er, he's gone." He said, lamely.

"Where is he?" Kakashi asked, helping him back up on his feet.

Naruto looked around forlornly, and lowered his head.

"I don't know. But… he gave up on his idea. He won't be a threat to us anymore." Naruto explained, feeling dejected.

Of course the Uchiha had bolted. Shit, he had known what was in Naruto's heart all along, he wouldn't have stayed to have his confession rejected because of Naruto's fear of social rejection. He would have tried to at least salvage what little dignity he could.

"Aren't you going after him?" Sakura asked coldly, her back still turned.

Naruto pondered on that for a minute, and found out he couldn't do it. He felt like a coward, but he just couldn't face the public repercussion on his true feelings for Sasuke, especially since even though he knew the Uchiha reciprocated, that alone didn't mean he wanted to be with him. And even if he did, he wouldn't want to… date… (he winced at the term, but what other could he use?) Naruto in secret. Sasuke was too proud and too honest for that.

More honest than Naruto felt he could be right now.

So he gave Sakura the only answer he could.

"No, Sakura-chan. I'm sorry. I did all I could to bring him back to you, but I failed. I can't do it anymore. If you want him that much, you'll have to go get him yourself."

Sakura turned angry eyes at him, but he faced her calmly. What else could he say? "Sorry to break your bubble, Sakura-chan, but Sasuke likes _dick_, specifically, **_my dick_**, so if I try to force him into marrying you and fulfilling your romantic dreams he'll probably force _me_ to marry _him_, and I ain't gonna be able to put much of a fight there, what with me being a giant homo for him and all."?

Or "Whoops, sorry about all those times I asked you to date me, Sakura-chan, but your prince charming swings for the other team, and by the way, so do I."?

Kakashi was looking at him like he had grown a second head.

"You are giving up? You are going back on your word? But your nindo…" he mumbled.

"Kakashi-sensei, Ero-sennin told me way back when I first wanted to go after Sasuke that it wasn't going to work, that I couldn't just force people to do something they obviously didn't want to or stop them from doing what they wanted. He said I could only do so much, and had to compromise because some things are just unattainable. Sasuke gave up on turning into the world's greatest evil. He won't bother us or anyone else again. I think… I think I have to be thankful to have gotten that much out of him." Naruto said in a thoughtful voice, "I have spent all my life chasing after him selfishly like a little kid. In the end, he gave up on his childish egomaniac plans, so, to make it even for him, yes, I'm giving up the chase. I think I owe him that much, so that is my compromise."

Kakashi came close to him, and suddenly pulled him into a hug.

"Welcome to adulthood, Naruto."


	2. Of humans and coconuts

**A/N**: Thanks for everyone who read my deranged ramblings. Here's more. Please forgive me again for the lack of deep emotional content… can't write drama worth a damn, sorry.

A special thanks to Emelie (**fangirlandiknowit**) and everyone who told me what they thought about the first installment :D I love you guys, keep the comments coming, and please point out anything wrong or inconsistent, I'm doing this as a way to prevent my fucked up brain from turning me into a blabbering idiot, so yeah criticism is even MORE welcome here than usual.

Oh, and btw this is going to be a Narusasu (sex is not gonna happen anytime soon tho) because my Sasuke is the funniest and most unconventional uke EVER in all my stories. He's what people in the brazilian queer community call "PAM - Passivo Até a Morte" (loosely equivalent to "Bottom 'Till Death", a term we use to define those gay males who demand bottoming because the sensory stimulation makes them swing from the chandeliers in pleasure - and when I say demand, I mean DEMAND, if you try to get them to top they'll throw a tantrum and beat 5 different kinds of crap out of you, until you change your mind and give them what they want).

The lesbian equivalent is the pillow princess, and YES, there are many, MANY butch pillow princesses out there. And no, there is NO arguing with those either, lol.

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><p>Sasuke ran for two hours before skidding to a halt, releasing the imprisoned tailed beasts, and starting to run again. He figured by then Naruto would have been released from the genjutsu by Kakashi and Sakura, so the Jinchuuriki would hold the enraged beasts back from trying to run after him.<p>

Uchiha Sasuke, contrary to common belief, had never run AWAY from anything before. He surely had run TO a lot of stuff – first he ran TO Sound, then TO Itachi, then TO the Kage Summit, then TO Itachi again, and TO Naruto – but never, ever AWAY.

Until now. And since Sasuke prided himself into doing things well and thoroughly, he ran away like a boss.

He didn't stop running when he felt some of his chakra return, enough to summon a hawk (that he vaguely directed to fly southwest). He didn't stop running when the hawk poofed out of exhaustion in midair. He didn't stop running to eat, sleep, poop (not that there was anything in his bowels enough to start a movement anyway: Sasuke by now had forgot when he had last eaten, he had been running on chakra and willpower for weeks), or drink.

And, like any living human being, ninja or not, because of that, Uchiha Sasuke collapsed on the third day since his last hurried drink of water (courtesy of Sakura's canteen when she and Obito found him in the desert), while jumping from one tree to the next.

He fell rather spectacularly face-first in front of an elderly monk and his donkey, which were passing a rough trail that wove underneath the canopy.

The monk looked at him unimpressed, and then raised his head to the sky.

"You know, Master Buddha, I always expect you to send people in need my way, but falling out of nowhere? That's a first." The monk snickered, as he poked the young man sprawled in the ground with his staff.

When he had no response, he sighed, pulled a canteen from his belt, kneeled and turned the boy over to assess his condition.

The monk scrunched his nose at the stink.

The young man must've run from a hell of a battle, or for a long time without pause. His clothes were torn, ripped, covered in all kinds of foul-smelling substances, dirt, leaves and sticky seeds, which also covered his disheveled, matted hair and skin. His sandals were thin with overuse, and ripped in one of two places. A few thorns stuck out from his feet.

And the young man was obviously emaciated. He was stick-thin, and his skin hung loose from dehydration. As the monk carefully undid the boy's clothing to better examine him, various small weapons – shuriken, kunai and a large roll of chakra wire – fell clanking to the forest floor.

'Ninja', the monk thought, nodding, as he soaked a wad of cotton with the contents of his canteen and used it to wet the youngster's cracked lips, dropping some of the liquid into his mouth. Probably from the latest war in the East, of which news had reached the village the monk was coming from.

Must've been his first guess that happened, then. Though why the young man had run so far as to reach the other side of the continent, he didn't know. Or care, really. The Buddha often sent him lost souls, and his job was to help them, not to question.

The boy's eyelids fluttered open, and he suddenly grabbed the canteen from the monk, almost inhaling the liquid inside.

"You shouldn't drink so fast, er…" the monk started, but the boy just hugged the canteen closer to his mouth and drank away, until he choked and folded in pain, throwing up half the liquid.

"Told you" the monk patiently said, pulling the half-empty canteen away from the boy and helping him into a sitting position. "You are too severely dehydrated for your stomach to be able to hold on to it."

The boy gave him a frightened look and tried to struggle away, curling up into a ball when that failed.

The monk frowned. 'Too weak to move' he thought, and stood up to get his emergency kit from the donkey's saddlebags.

He went back to crouch beside the boy, who whimpered at his touch.

"You need an IV to get some fluid back into your body before you can hold water in your stomach. I have a kit here. Don't be afraid, I am not a ninja, just a travelling monk." He raised the youngster's head so he could see his clerical robes and prayer beads, which were regarded with a suspicious look.

"What's a monk doing with an IV kit?" the boy whispered weakly.

The monk raised a gray eyebrow. "I always carry it, the Buddha doesn't really warn us before sending the needy our way. Besides, there has been a nasty bout of cholera in this region for the last year, so it is wise to be prepared."

The boy's black eyes widened. "Cholera?" he asked, allowing the monk to pull him into a sitting position and prepare the IV kit.

The monk nodded, and pulled a large green coconut from the bag. He then drilled a tiny hole in it and let a little bit of the coconut water out, before inserting the IV tube in the hole.

The boy's eyes went round and he tried to pull his left arm away, but the monk held it with surprising strength, and deftly inserted the IV needle in the largest vein he found.

"What the hell are you trying to do? Where am I?" the boy began panicking, so the monk shushed him to stillness.

"Coconut water is a great IV fluid, and it doesn't require refrigeration. It is also plentiful here, so it's the best choice for dehydration treatment. You are currently on an island 10 miles off-shore from the Land of Swamps." He said calmly, and stood up to hang the coconut up from the donkey's saddle.

The beast gave Sasuke a tired, sagely look.

'No wonder the man didn't recognize me' Sasuke thought, beginning to feel actually better. He had traveled all across and away from the main continent. The Fourth Ninja war would have been little more than entertaining gossip this far away.

Ten minutes later, the monk pulled on the skin at the back of Sasuke's right hand, either unmindful or uninterested of the huge tattoo-like swirls that covered his entire left arm (and that had appeared as he had made the rat seal combining his hand with Naruto's), and sat down next to him, smiling and stretching his own hand in a friendly gesture.

"Yamada Taro, nice to meet you." The monk introduced himself.

Sasuke's eyes glinted for a second and he replied "Nanno Nanigashi", taking the offered hand and giving it a weak shake. "Thank you, by the way. Where… where I come from there aren't many generous people around who would help strangers in need." He added, blushing and looking away.

The old man nodded. "I understand." the monk smiled at the last. "That is why there is always room for more people in my line of work. I find being a monk a rewarding profession, and my favorite path to enlightenment and inner peace." He gave Sasuke a knowing look.

Inner peace. Those two words brought such a longing feeling to Sasuke's aching heart, he couldn't stop himself even if he tried.

"Would you be interested in an apprentice?" the last Uchiha asked in a timid voice.

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><p><strong>AN**:

Yamada Taro is a Japanese equivalent to "John Doe".

So is Nanno Nanigashi.

The coconut water trick is scientifically correct. It is actually taught to military and civilian flight personnel as part of crash survival skills because it is a natural replenishing fluid that is naturally free from bacteria and very common to find in tropical areas.

Extremely dehydrated people really can't hold water in their stomach, so they have to be rehydrated through IV. Ice or wet cloth are used to wet their lips as a signal to the brain that fluids will be entering the body again, to lower stress hormone levels and allow for the IV fluids to be better absorbed.


	3. And the truth shall fuck your life up

**A/N**:

Can you believe it's 3 a.m. and I'm hearing "Why'd you only call me when you're high"? Nope, can't sleep, I get all kinds of fucked-up nightmares at night when I don't take my happy pills. So I'm basically turning into a vampire this week. Can you notice how happy I am that my shrink is out on a congress?

Yup.

And here is a public interest message: being in the closet fucks people up like nobody's business, and that is why homophobia is BAD, everyone. There is no such thing as gay cooties, so hug a queer person and tell them you accept them as they are, if you can.

To Korregidora: Sasuke as a monk came to mind when I saw the adult!Sasuke sketches by Kishimoto. He wears prayer beads on them, and I'm betting oatmeal-raisin cookies on tumblr he will be a monk in training in The Last. I had predicted a month and a half ago that the manga would end on chapter 700 and it will, so... grandma **knows** she got game.

Ty all for reading and please lemme know what you think, special thanks go to fangirlandiknowit and uchihanochidori for their love and support.

And now let's get this show on the road, shall we?

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><p>Naruto woke up and tiredly opened his bleary eyes. Like he did every morning since coming back to Konoha, he sighed and carefully folded Sasuke's torn shimenawa before hiding it inside his pillowcase.<p>

He had found it in the water when he had gone to wash his face after waking from the genjutsu, sticking to some weeds, and had quickly secreted it under his clothes before Kakashi and Sakura noticed it.

That had been three months ago, and since then, the only actual sleep Naruto got happened when he held on to it.

He knew he'd be neck deep in shit if anyone knew he had kept it, but he felt entitled to hang on to that little piece of happiness.

He had relinquished all else, hadn't he?

He got up and shuffled his way to the tiny bathroom.

Naruto had been offered a huge, lavish place right next to the Hokage tower to replace his previous shoddy apartment, which had been torn down in the Pain battle, right after the Konoha forces had returned.

He had politely refused it. It's not as if he would even know how to live in such a large space anyway, let alone need it. He had grown up in a teeny tiny studio that was more than enough for his bachelor's needs, and there would be no reason for him to take up so much room, it wasn't as if there weren't large families still homeless that would make better use of it.

Naruto had rented (after arguing five exhausting hours with old man Teuchi, who had refused to accept payment until Naruto threatened to go live under a bridge otherwise) a tiny studio on top of Ichiraku's new premises.

Old man Teuchi adamantly refused to let Naruto pay for ramen, though, to which Naruto grudgingly accepted, but only under the condition that Ichiraku let him send a clone to help them with work whenever the old man or Ayame needed.

Which was often, since the place had become highly popular for being Naruto's favorite restaurant.

Naruto washed his face, brushed his teeth and began his morning smiling ritual in front of the mirror.

He had never needed it before, but since Sasuke's confession and him having realized his own hypocrisy he had found it impossible to keep his legendary cheerful disposition.

So he faked it, and he faked it like a pro. Not even Sai could differentiate fake happy Naruto from the real thing.

The irony in all was that the thing that should have made Naruto truly happy was the reason for his depression.

Sasuke loved him. He loved Sasuke back. That would have been perfect, if not for the fact both of them were male and that Naruto couldn't give up on all the other bonds he had worked so hard to grow in his life. And he damn well knew all he had to do to become an outcast and be hated for the rest of his miserable life, regardless of whatever good he had ever done, was to let anyone know that he wasn't the flawless beneficent saint everyone thought he was.

Even as careful as he was to look completely normal and harmless to society, he knew there were people who still avoided him in principle because of the tailed beasts.

"Don't you even try blaming us for your fragile social life, brat" Kurama rumbled. "We've all been quiet and will be quiet as long as nobody tries to fuck with us."

"Yeah, right. Like that helps" Naruto mumbled, while covering the crescent moon tattoo-like symbols that covered his right arm with bandages. He had picked up that habit after Kakashi and Tsunade had pointed out the markings might be seen as threatening by people who knew that Indra's moon symbol was connected to the Uchiha fan, and that leaving the marks visible could raise inopportune questions.

It didn't help the markings resisted any kind of henge attempt, too. They remained even when he did the Sexy Jutsu – what's worse, the only time he had used that jutsu after the war, in one of his and Konohamaru's private challenges, his female form had not only her right arm covered in crescent moons, but there had been a huge-ass one smack over his groin. He had been so fucking terrified, it had taken Konohamaru ten minutes of promising never to tell anyone for him to come out of his panic attack.

He had never attempted the Sexy Jutsu again. Nor the Reverse Harem Jutsu. Especially after people speculated why he hadn't put Sasuke in it, even if Sasuke had been the sexier boy in Konoha. There was NO way he could answer that one, not without blowing his carefully constructed image.

He also had never dared to make a clone henge into Sasuke's image again, which was pretty much the entire origin of the Reverse Harem technique.

At first, he had been bored with only having his clones as companions, so some of them had henged to look like his friends when he summoned them to play cards, talk, or otherwise hang out with.

Then one day, when he missed Sasuke's company exceptionally more, one of his clones had decided to henge into the Uchiha, and having even a fake Sasuke to hang out with had been one of Naruto's most cherished secret pleasures.

He had never tried anything sexual with the clone, mostly because he had been so deeply repressed it had never crossed his mind, but also because when he had tried kissing a Sakura-henged clone it had been so anticlimactic compared to his twelve year-old dreams, it made the whole idea of clones lose any erotic appeal whatsoever.

And since he had accidentally kissed Sakura thinking she was Sasuke, the entire idea of sex scared the bejesus out of him. So much so, he avoided jerking off as if his dick would fall off when he touched it.

Especially because, now that he had been forced out of his inner closet by the damn bastard, Naruto couldn't avoid getting horny over males anymore.

That's right, males _plural_. He had gone _once_ to the onsen after the war, never to return, because as soon as Sai's pale ass came into his field of vision he had gotten a raging hard-on, and his face had gone purple with embarrassment.

He had quickly dismissed it as just having been reminded of Sasuke's body because Sai looked like the bastard, but then they were joined by Shikamaru, Chouji and Rock Lee and Naruto's hopes that this deviant side of his sexuality existed only because he was in love with Sasuke came crashing down as he caught himself trying to discreetly ogle Lee's backside.

Fucking **Rock Lee**'s backside, gods damn it all to hell. It was enough to make him consider drowning himself in the toilet out of shame.

It didn't help any that Sasuke's damn presence took permanent residence as a small itch at the back of his brain, either. Now he was not only in constant shameful guilt of being horny for males, but he was in constant guilty fear that somehow his fucking connection to the man he was in love with made him aware of every time Naruto felt horny after looking at anybody else, even if it had nothing to do with why he discovered himself heads over heels in love with Sasuke in the first place.

Gods damn that Uchiha asshole for eternity. On second thought, scratch that, the word asshole was a very dangerous one to associate with that particular Uchiha. Gods damn that Uchiha prick…

_Oh crap_.

Naruto sighed and turned the shower on the coldest setting he had.

And then there was the matter of Sakura giving him the eternal cold shoulder from hell.

The first time the two of them had been alone for longer than a minute after the war, Sakura had stood in front of him with her arms crossed and a challenging look on her face.

_"__What did Sasuke-kun and you do in your genjutsu, Naruto?" she asked in a cold voice, scowling at him._

_Naruto paled, then blushed, then paled again. He had been afraid this moment would come ever seeing the look on her face when he woke up from the genjutsu on that fateful day._

_"__Nothing" he mumbled. "We talked."_

_"__Oh, you "talked"?" Sakura said in a mocking tone, making quote marks with her fingers. _

_"__Yes, Sakura-chan." He said quietly and lowered his head._

_Sakura snorted. "Do you know what Sasuke-kun did to me in the genjutsu he put __**me**__ in, Na-ru-to?"_

_Naruto flinched at the tone, and shook his head quietly. _

_"__He killed me. With a chidori through the heart. And he __**never**__ looked at my face or said __one fucking word__while he did it. He just __**ripped **my damned heart out__, pulled his hand from my chest and walked off without looking back. Over. And over. And over. And over. Like it was the easiest thing, like he was __stepping on a fucking** cockroach**__, Naruto."_

_She let out a bitter laugh. _

_"__You know what the __**worst**__ part of it was, though? Even through that I still loved him. I still wanted him. I couldn't release myself from that cursed genjutsu because even though it was the most horrible thing anyone ever did to me, he at least __touched **me **__willingly__ in it. And I thought that maybe __**because**__ he touched my heart, he didn't really hate me so much, or feel nothing for me. That maybe even though he had chosen to rip my fucking heart out in that genjutsu, it was some kind of love message for me. Some twisted way of his to tell me he loved me back, that he wanted me." She wiped an angry tear off her face._

_"__And then all of a sudden I was out of the genjutsu. Kakashi and I ran like hell after you, and you know what, Naruto? I wanted him to have won."_

_Naruto raised his eyes to her with a fearful expression. _

_"__I wanted Sasuke to have killed you, because if he had, then it meant that I was __**more **important than you__ in his heart. That he didn't kill me so I would have been alive to be by his side. I knew that I could change him. I could make him give his plans up, because I loved him and we were __**destined **to be together__." She huffed and shook her head._

_"__But then you were there and he was nowhere to be found, and when I reached you and saw that you were still alive, I had to save you from whatever he had done to you, because Sasuke-kun would never forgive me if I didn't, no matter how badly he had injured you."_

_"__Sakura-chan…" Naruto started._

_"__Don't you __**EVER**__ fucking Sakura-chan me again, you cheating son of a bitch!" She screamed at him. "Kakashi told me what Sasuke-kun said about me after he put me into that damned genjutsu and that you didn't worry or even ask Sasuke-kun what he did to me in it! You just pranced away after him and spent the rest of the fucking day without sparing a thought about what was happening to me!" _

_"__What the fuck would you have me do instead? If I had taken you off the genjutsu you'd have gone after us and __he** would **have really killed you__, gods damn it!" Naruto screamed back at her._

_"__You could have knocked him out! Broken his legs! His arms! Immobilized him in some other way earlier! Do you think I'm so stupid I couldn't tell both of you held back? He put you on a fucking genjutsu and ran away without leaving a blood trail! If the statues weren't damaged nobody could even tell you had a fight there!" she snarled at him._

_"__Damn it Sakura, Sasuke is my friend! __**Of course **__I held back, I didn't want to kill him!" Naruto said in an anguished voice._

_"__Of course you didn't want to kill him, you wanted to __**kiss**__ him, you damned __**fag**__!" she hissed._

_"__What did you do all that time, talk about your __**feelings**__ for each other? Did you make out after confessing your deviant lust, while planning for Sasuke-kun's escape? Did you promise to meet him after the dust settled? Or did you promise he could just __**waltz**__ back into Konoha like nothing happened as soon as you were named Hokage? Huh, Naruto? Do you think the Daimyo will ever appoint someone like __**you**__ to be Hokage, Na-ru-to?" she continued, and spit on his blushing face._

_"__I was such an idiot, I should have noticed __**years**__ ago! No wonder Sasuke-kun never accepted my advances! All my life I kept myself untouched, __**pure**__, waiting for __**him**__! And __**you**__ even had the nerve to try to trick your own __**father**__ into thinking I was your __**girlfriend**__! All while the both of you were planning to get into each other's pants __behind my back__!" she hollered._

_"__Are you fucking __**insane**__? That's not what happened at all! Stop twisting the facts, damn it!" Naruto yelled at her._

_Sakura slapped him._

_"__You were __**kissing **him__! Don't you even __**DARE**__ denying that!" she growled. "You think __**I'm**__ fucking insane? How else do you want me to interpret __**that**__?"_

_"__I did __**not**__ know he was in love with me until __**he**__ confessed to __**me**__! And I thought what __**I**__ felt for him was just friendship because I thought what __**you**__ felt for him was real love, and I never felt that way!" Naruto said in a venomous tone, and a tear ran down his face. "I only realized I really loved him __**more**__ than just as a friend when I realized my love for him was __exactly the** same**__ as Hinata's love for me, that's when I saw that what you felt for him was really a damn __childish romantic** fantasy**__ and __not real__, just like he said after he put you under that genjutsu."_

_Sakura slapped him on the other cheek._

_"__How __**DARE**__ you belittle my feelings for Sasuke-kun? How __**DARE**__ you say I __**don't**__ love him?" she screamed._

_"__When did you ever care about what __**he**__ wanted? About __**his**__ feelings? When did you ever choose __**his**__ happiness __over** yours**__, Sakura?" Naruto said in a low voice. _

_Sakura's jaw dropped._

_"__When Hinata confessed to me she __**never**__ expected me to love her back. She __**never**__ pushed herself on to me. Whenever we talked about our dreams, she __**never**__ thought hers were more important than mine. Her love for me __is__ real and yours for Sasuke __isn't__ because she always valued __**my **freedom __over** her **wish__ to be with me. You __**never **even considered__ that Sasuke could __**NOT**__ be in love with you no matter how many times he stated otherwise. You never __**ever**__ talked about anything but __**YOUR**__ feelings for him. You never wanted him back in Konoha so he could go back to healing from his suffering like he was when we were all on team seven, you __**only**__ wanted him back so you could __**have **__him, __regardless of what he felt or wanted__. You offered to go with him when he went to Orochimaru even though you __**knew **__all that would be left of him if Orochimaru got what he wanted was his __**body**__. You didn't even give a shit about what would happen to his __**soul**__, Sakura." He spat at her._

_"__And when the others caught on to your selfishness, you decided to kill him __**to save face**__. You even __**offered **yourself to me__ without even thinking about __my__ opinion, as if because I thought I loved you I turned into your fucking __**lapdog**__ to mindlessly do your bidding, and__** my** own feelings for Sasuke weren't even worthy of your recognition.__" He continued._

_"__You wanna know what Sasuke did to me in that genjutsu, besides tell me he was in love with me? He made me __see the fucking** truth **I hid from myself all my damn life__ because I've grown up so __**terrified**__ of being rejected to even __consider__ questioning what other people told me was __**socially proper**__ to address my feelings as. He made me see that the example of romantic love I based my views on was __**wrong**__, that I had __another__ example, a __true__ example of __**real**__ love __right under my nose__ and that I didn't ever allow myself to __**think**__ about it because I __knew__ the moment I paid attention to it I'd compare it to what I felt for Sasuke and __realize that my love for him was the same__. And the __**only**__ reason I kept asking you on dates and running after you like an idiot was because __**you**__ taught me that wanting to get the pretty girl __as a popularity** trophy**__ was being in true love with her. I love you as my friend with all my heart, Sakura, the same way I love Ino, Hinata, Shizune, Shikamaru, Chouji, Rock Lee and all the others. The same way I loved Neji. But __**yes**__, I did __**flaunt **you__ as my girlfriend in front of my father __**only **because I wanted him to be proud of me__, to think I had gotten a good girl like my mom __just like she had asked me to__."_

_Naruto took a long breath._

_"__I was living in such denial and __ignorance__ of my own feelings that I always found some stupid excuse for loving Sasuke over __everyone__ else. I said he was my brother, but you know what? **Konohamaru **__is my brother__. He and Iruka are my family in my heart, as much as my father and my mother are. I don't know what I would do if either of them had died in the war. Ero-sennin __**was **my father as much as the Fourthwas__, and I thought I'd never get over his death. But I love Sasuke __**more**__. If Sasuke had died I would have killed myself to be with him in the afterlife __**in a heartbeat**__. Wouldn't even __blink__ before ripping my own heart out, I love that arrogant, stupid, insufferable bastard so much. I couldn't bring myself to kill him just as he couldn't do it, and for the same reason. There is no winner in our fight and there never will be, because we love each other above anything that has ever existed or could ever be. And yes, I do realize I want to get into his pants. But I don't want to do it because he's sexy; I want to do it because I want to give __**him**__ pleasure. I want to make __**him**__ happy in __**every **way__ I fucking can, because I love __**him**__. I don't give a shit about what he looks like or what gender he is. If Sasuke looked like Gamakitchi I would __**still**__ be attracted to him, and I'll let you know that frogs don't have neither dicks __**NOR**__ pussies. And yes, I __**can**__ be physically attracted to other people, but that is completely beside the point, because I'm sexually attracted to Sasuke's __**PERSON**__. It's sexual because sex is__** one**__ of the things that make our love so much more __**complete**__ than anything either of us __**ever**__ felt for anyone else, and probably than whatever we'll __ever__ feel for anyone else __**as long as we live**__." He completed, before turning away and leaving without looking back._

Ever since that day, Sakura had avoided him like he had the plague. She hadn't told anyone else about what she knew, though. He was grateful for that.

He finished his freezing cold shower, dried quickly and got dressed in his new, even more conservative (but still very orange) outfit, and took a last look in the mirror after tying up his hitai-ate and leaving to see what Kakashi wanted him to do today.

He decided to get a shorter, more conservative haircut on the way to the Hokage tower.

One could never be too careful nowadays.

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><p><strong>AN**: Remember Sasuke's weird purple obi? There is a reason for that look, it's actually a shimenawa, not a regular obi. In Shinto the shimenawa is a symbol of power, and great sumo champions wear it to show off their special status. Cool, right?


	4. Amaterasu's blessing

**A/N**: Thank you all for keeping up with this sorry excuse for a story. A special hug goes to everyone who's reviewing, your input helps me a ton, keep those reviews coming and don't be afraid to point out mistakes or ask for clarification or whatever, I swear I don't get offended easily.

Here's some background historical explanation for this part of the story:

The monk upon whom Sasuke fell (and of whom he became an apprentice) is a yamabushi, an ascetic monk of the Shugendō Bhuddist sect.

**Shugendō** (修験道) is a highly syncretic Buddhist religion or sect and mystical-spiritual tradition that originated in pre-Feudal Japan, in which enlightenment is equated with attaining oneness with the kami (神). This perception of experiential "awakening" is obtained through the understanding of the relationship between humanity and nature, centered on an ascetic, mountain-dwelling practice. The focus or goal of Shugendō is the development of spiritual experience and power. Having backgrounds in mountain worship, Shugendō incorporated beliefs or philosophies from Old Shinto as well as folk animism, and further developed as Taoism and esoteric Buddhism arrived in Japan. The 7th century ascetic and mystic En no Gyōja is often considered as having first organized Shugendō as a doctrine. Shugendō literally means "the path of training and testing" or "the way to spiritual power through discipline."

Those who practice _shugendō_ are referred to in two ways. One term, _shugenja_ (修験), is derived from the term _shugendō_, literally meaning "a person of training and testing", i.e. "a person of _shugen_." The other term, _yamabushi_ (山伏), means "one who lies in the mountains".

The monks in that order are also trained in martial arts, and related to the warrior monk sects, so they often served as protectors for the villages in their territories. They were, in the early days, seen as the Bhuddist male equivalents of the Shinto miko (maiden priestesses), except for the fact that miko are not only priestesses but also serve as living conduits to the gods, in the ancient shamanistic trance dance called Miko Kagura.

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><p>"Where the hell is that good for nothing yamabushi?" a gravelly female voice yelled out of the small hut.<p>

Sasuke stopped fanning the coals he had just lighted to answer the door.

"Good morning, Mitiro-sama" he greeted while bowing to the fearsome miko.

In the six months since beginning his new life as Nanno Nanigashi, apprentice shugenja under the yamabushi monk known as Yamada Taro, Sasuke had traveled all over the island, and gotten acquainted with the network of clerics that pretty much oversaw the daily life of the five small villages (that had been so run down with cholera in the past year, all of its inhabitants together wouldn't have been enough people to make one of the smallest villages Sasuke had gone to in his travels with Orochimaru, but then the island was so small and poor, there hadn't been many people in it before the cholera outbreak either).

The southernmost fisherman village was under another miko's protection, Orihime-sama.

The westernmost fisherman village was in Daisuke-sama's (a laid-back, easygoing Zen Bhuddist monk) territory.

The eastern farmer village was in Hisashi-sama's territory. Hisashi-sama was Taro's previous apprentice, and a fledgling yamabushi himself.

The northern village was a goat-herding village in the mountainous area. It was Taro-sama's territory, and the old yamabushi lived in a hut near the top when he could actually bother to stay put for more than a few days – which was somewhat of a rarity.

The central village and hub of activities in the island was the territory of the sun goddess Amaterasu's powerful miko, Mitiro-sama.

Mitiro-sama, legend said, had been appointed by Amaterasu herself. By watching the iron-fisted way with which she ruled that village, it might as well have been the other way around.

She was also the first miko Sasuke had ever met that had been allowed to marry.

Miko were required to remain maidens for life, but since Mitiro had married a woman, a tall, statuesque, delicate but equally strong-willed redhead named Haruka, the goddess had accepted it. Not that the miko gave a flying fuck to what Amaterasu thought either way.

Whenever Mitiro performed the Miko Kagura where Amaterasu made herself present through her, she would treat the goddess like the annoyance she believed everyone else but her wife to be. It was more of a heated argument between them than a dance, and the first Sasuke had attended, to be formally presented to the goddess (because even though the Bhuddist monks weren't obligated to pay homage to the Shinto gods, they were quite attached to their skin and viewed shared rituals as common courtesy), had been an event he'd never forget.

_The four other clerics had sat in the four corners of Amaterasu's shrine, while the miko's wifeplayed the small drums and the miko herself stood in front of the central fire. _

_"__Will you stop poking me, damn it, I'm trying to concentrate!" the short, stout miko growled. _

_"__Concentrate some more and you'll become spherical" a light voice left the miko's lips in a teasing tone. The priestess' body was suddenly covered in flames._

_"__MUST you ALWAYS embarrass me EVERY single time, Amaterasu-kami? What are the others going to think if you keep on making such improper entrances? I haven't even started the dancing yet!" Mitiro's gravelly voice complained. _

_"__Che, like there's anyone here who needs that kind of performance. Now shut up and let me look at the new boy." The goddess said, and the flaming miko turned to Sasuke._

_"__Oooooh, I know YOU. About time one of your clan broke that unfortunate cycle of hatred" she said in her light voice, looking at him expectantly with a wide smile. Taro poked Sasuke's back, and the Uchiha stood uncertainly. _

_The miko came closer and embraced him. The fire didn't burn him, though. It felt warm and very, very soothing, and Sasuke couldn't stop himself from hugging the goddess back and breaking up in uncontrollable sobs to save his own life. It was like his mother had come back from the dead to cuddle him._

_The goddess patiently waited for over an hour with Sasuke in her arms until the crying subsided. Sasuke felt drained, but better than he had felt since he had been a little kid. _

_"__Hoshi, you better take good care of this child" the goddess addressed Sasuke's new master, "it is of one of mine own's best interest that he is nursed back to health and reaches inner peace. I will be personally indebted to you."_

_Taro kowtowed to the goddess. "This humble monk is honored, Amaterasu-kami-sama."_

_Sasuke raised wide eyes at her._

_The goddess smiled with the miko's usually stern face. "What? I am the SUN goddess, boy" her smile widened to a distinctively familiar megawatt grin, and the goddess tapped the side of her nose before hugging him again._

_ "__You see, the moon and the sun live together. The only reason you see the moon alone at night is because Tsukuyomi is much like this girl" the miko's face scrunched in distaste for a microsecond, before the smile overtook it again, "and so we always fight over stupid things; but he always comes back to my side in the morning, you just can't see it because, duh, I'm so nice nobody notices him. I can't live without him, just like he can't live without me. Tell that to my boy when he comes for you" the goddess whispered in his ear._

_Sasuke hugged the goddess tightly and nodded before he let go of her. _

_Haruka touched his shoulder and smiled, before embracing the goddess as well. Sasuke noticed her nod almost imperceptibly to something the goddess whispered, and then suddenly the flames disappeared and the miko's body sagged. _

_"__Owww my poor feet…" Mitiro complained, and Haruka helped her sit on one of the cushions, chuckling and winking at Sasuke. _

"I'm talking to you, boy!" the Miko said, knocking on Sasuke's head with her staff.

"I'm sorry, Mitiro-sama. Taro-sama has gone down to the village for supplies." Sasuke told her.

"Hn. You'll have to do, then. Pick up your supplies and follow me, the waifu has gone to Orihime's village for fish and I need some strong _capable_ hands to help birth at the Watanabe's." Mitiro waved him off after that, and plopped herself down on a tree stump.

Sasuke froze. "Birth?" he asked.

"Did I stutter, Nanigashi? Go get your stuff, those calves ain't gonna wait for us forever, boy!" the miko complained.

Oh,_ crap_. Not the Watanabe cow.

Due to the cholera epidemic killing almost half the island's population, all the clerics had to help each other with the most difficult cases at their respective villages. And since Taro-sama and Mitiro-sama were the only ones with strong apprentices – or, in her case, a jack-of-all-trades of a wife – they were the first everyone turned to. Haruka-san was especially requested everywhere due to her bartering skill, as monks and miko alike lived on alms and were all eternally struggling to make ends meet.

That meant none of them turned down work. Any kind of work.

"Hurry up, Shugenja-kun!" he heard as he prepared his backpack. He hoped the miko had all the herbs to keep the cow calm while they birthed the calves, the Watanabe's beast had the unfortunate (for itself, the farmers on the other hand were very happy about it) tendency to birth twins and the process was painful as hell. He threw his sturdiest gloves in the pack, tied a large cloth headband on and got out to meet her.

They took the winding path down the mountain, and Sasuke dried his sweaty palms on his robes.

"Don't be scared, it's hard work but it'll go right, be happy it's not Watanabe-san herself." The miko commented. Damn woman had eyes on the back of her head, Sasuke was sure of it.

He breathed deeply to calm his nerves, wondering what Naruto would think if he knew the former Uchiha avenger was scared of birthing a cow. He promised himself if the blonde ever witnessed that and laughed, he'd kick his sorry ass into helping the fearsome miko in his place.

Remembering the usuratonkachi always made him feel a small tickle in the back of his head. He wondered if Naruto felt the same when he remembered him. He sure as hell hoped so.

They reached the small, poor excuse for a farm after a couple of hours. Neither monks nor priestesses used chakra for travel like ninja did. In fact, one of the first lessons Taro-sama had taught him was to forgo most of his ninja skills.

"There are other ninja living in this island, but they have all given up on the trade. Most of them are originally missing nin who got fed up with fighting over power, or were too traumatized to fight anymore, and ran away from their original clans and villages to seek a peaceful life as civilians. Since this island is small and poor, the main land nations ignore us and let us fend for ourselves" The monk explained.

"But what if someone tries to take over the island, or if war reaches this place?" Sasuke had asked. "Who will protect the people?"

"Who do you think? We will, of course." The elderly monk gave him a smirk. "Yamabushi are trained in battle arts" he laughed. "I am in charge of protection, mostly, though the few traders that have business with us are so terrified of Mitiro-sama's curses, me and Hisashi – and now you, of course – mostly never have to worry about anything".

Sasuke snorted at the idea of curses, and the monk slapped the back of his head.

"Don't ever take Mitiro-sama's powers lightly, boy. Remember, she talks back to the gods and gets away with it. It is unwise to get on that woman's bad side." He had said in a serious voice.

Sasuke was shaken out of his reverie by a loud moo from the barn.

He went in and found the large cow bawling her head off, and quickly pulled out the set of ropes to tie its legs, before it could inadvertently knock his head off.

Mitiro-sama set up a portable brazier and was fanning over the little fire. She picked out a few herbs from separate pouches, gave the cow a calculating look, and mixed the herbs in a mortar before dropping the herbs over the embers.

Sasuke hurriedly pulled his headband down to serve as a makeshift mask. It would do to filter most of the anesthetic smoke. He wasn't immune to it as the miko were.

The cow calmed down and laid on its straw bed, and the miko positioned herself next to its belly, kneeling down and praying while rubbing her hands. Sasuke put his rough gloves on and knelt at the cow's tail end, with a piece of rope, a pair of scissors and a few pieces of rough cloth next to him.

His left palm tickled in response to the energy gathering in Mitiro's hands.

It had amazed Sasuke to learn that, even though Yin energy was associated with females (oh how he thanked the gods Naruto didn't know that, he would've made so much fun of the Uchiha they probably would've been killed by Madara early in the fight), the birthing process was regulated by an outburst of Yang energy instead. The miko Orihime had taught him that at the first birth he had assisted, and she had also told him the only reason he could help with births was because his own energy was yin-based (the offspring needed a burst of yin energy to balance the excess yang energy they received during birth, she had explained, so males made poor midwives. Sasuke put that bit of information in his growing "Never let the usuratonkachi know or he'll laugh at me forever" file).

Mitiro-sama gave him a questioning look and Sasuke nodded. She placed her glowing hands on the cow's belly.

Sasuke quickly grabbed the little pair of hooves coming out of the cow and began pulling in time with the contractions. Soon the first calf was out, and he hurriedly took off his left glove and let out a burst of yin energy in the calf's snout before clamping the cord, cutting it and pulling the calf out of the way for the next one.

His yin energy was even more useful on twin births, since it speeded up the offspring breathing process. The little calf coughed up some liquid, and cried a bit, before struggling to stand on its thin legs.

Sasuke had put his glove back on and was already helping its twin out.

The second twin was weaker than the first, so Sasuke stood up, removed his left glove again and picked the calf up by its hind legs, before slapping its back with his ungloved hand. The calf coughed up the amniotic fluid and, after a second energy-infused slap, cried out and began breathing.

He was shaking with the exertion and his robes were covered in blood, cow shit and birthing fluids by the time they finished cleaning the afterbirth, but soon enough the cow was up and licking her twin offspring.

The miko patted his back and gave him a satisfied smirk.

"Good job, if that lazy bum hadn't found you first you'd make a fine miko, Nanigashi-kun" she said.

Sasuke scowled. "Miko is women's work, Mitiro-sama."

"Pfffft, the only reason men can't be miko is because their energy isn't right, baka. It's got nothing to do with being feminine or masculine, or do I look like a delicate feminine flower to you?" She growled, and batted her eyelashes mockingly.

Sasuke snickered. If not for her overtly female figure (the woman looked a lot like a prehistoric rendering of fertility with her large breasts and hips), everyone would mistake Mitiro for a man, the miko was that butch.

"Ok, you've made your point. My bad." He said, waving his hands in a conciliatory motion.

"Hn. Let's wash up and get something to eat before leaving, no way am I letting that stingy Watanabe get away with just giving us a stick of butter and a bag of rice each."


	5. What goes around, comes around

**A/N**: Dear** guest**, please read this chapter very carefully. Sorry, no InoSaku, but I think you'll understand a few things. Hope you like it.

As usual, thank you all for reading and reviewing my poor excuse for a story *glomps everyone*

Onwards!

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><p>'Oh, shit.' Sakura froze, basket in hand, as she saw the Rokudaime absentmindedly walking his way down the personal care items aisle.<p>

She instinctively scanned to her sides, taking note of the few matrons picking up toiletries.

Why the fuck couldn't Kakashi use an aide to do his shopping like a regular Hokage? Worse, why the fuck did Kakashi insist on shopping at the same market and the same damn time she did?

It took all her wits to give him a small smile and nod when he called out to her.

"Oh, hi Hokage-sama" she answered, the title sounding weird in her tongue. Not that the old Kakashi-sensei hadn't felt ridiculous back when Sakura had decided to start her life anew by throwing her virginity out the Hokage office's window, over a year ago.

_Tsunade had decided to retire two months after the war ended, and Kakashi had been appointed her successor in a quick, humble ceremony which led to a party at Yakiniku Q. _

_Sakura had noticed Naruto's fake cheer, but she was still feeling too hurt by everything that had happened – the war, Sasuke's mockery of her feelings, finding out Naruto and Sasuke loved each other and thus Sasuke would never be hers, her own stupidity for never looking at the facts logically, and the fight she had had with Naruto – to do anything. _

_After the party she spotted Kakashi going in the direction of the Hokage tower by himself, and started after him. _

_The former copy-nin had a somewhat large tolerance for alcohol when he had the Sharingan, but now that he had lost it, it was the first time he drank and she wanted to be sure he wouldn't keel over with alcohol poisoning due to the changes in his metabolic rate. Considering Tsunade herself was drunk as a skunk and Shizune was currently dragging her ass home, she saw it as her responsibility to make sure the Rokudaime survived his own inauguration party._

_Besides, she had yet to thank Kakashi for defending her when Sasuke had mocked her feelings. _

_She had wondered about that for a while now. Kakashi had no business defending her, he wasn't even her sensei anymore, hadn't been for years, but still he did. And he had supported her afterwards, too, when she had decided to move out of her parent's home. He had even promised to take care of her so no one would – in her mother's words – attack her during her maiden's sleep. _

_Oh she had been __**so**__ freaking mortified that day, she blushed every time she saw the man afterwards. _

_And she saw him __**really**__ often after the war, being Tsunade's pupil and all, so the blood had pretty much taken permanent residence in her cheeks._

_"__Kakashi-, oh, sorry, Hokage-sama, wait a second please?" she called out to him as he started taking the tower's steps. _

_"__Hm?" he said, looking over his shoulder. Thank goodness now Sakura was able to blame her blush on the sake, at least. _

_"__I… I wanted to talk to you in private for a second, if it's not too much of a bother?" she asked him, figuring in the five to ten minutes she would take thanking him for that day she'd be able to safely gauge how drunk he was without formally examining him._

_"__Oh, sure, we can talk in my office" he said, and chuckled. "__**My**__ office, damn that Obito, he called it before I even considered such a thing possible, wish I had asked him to give me the lotto numbers before he died" he laughed heartily, throwing his head back as they made the way to the Hokage's office._

_She smiled and followed him through the doors, after bowing to Genma and Raidou._

_Kakashi went to the desk and rested against it, crossing his legs in front of him. _

_Sakura fiddled with her chuunin jacket._

_"__So… I never really thanked you for standing up for me when Sasuke-kun said… what he said about me" she said, and lowered her eyes. _

_"__You don't have to thank me for that, it was the truth" Kakashi answered, and when Sakura raised her eyes, she almost jumped. _

_Hatake Kakashi was blushing. _

_And she could see he was blushing because he had taken his mask off. _

_'__Holy crap it's his face I'm finally seeing Kakashi-sensei's __**FACE**__' inner-Sakura yelped, and fainted rather comically in her mind. _

_It was a bittersweet moment, because even though she had waited all her life to see it, now that she had she had no idea what Ichiraku Ayame saw that impressed her so much._

_Ok, Kakashi was good looking, but he wasn't the most gorgeous man in Konoha. If anything, his face was surprisingly innocent-looking, enough to give Naruto a run for his money. But that was pretty much it, he didn't have any remarkable feature to speak of. _

_Sakura blushed a deeper red in principle anyway. The man looked definitely naked without his mask, it was like seeing a man you had never seen without a beard clean-shaved for the first time. _

_"__You… you didn't have to. You put yourself in risk doing that, I mean, he put me under that horrible genjutsu, I can't even think what he could have done to you, and" Sakura's spluttering stopped when she saw the most amazing thing she had ever seen. _

_Kakashi gave her a slow, timid smile. _

_'__Ok, __**now**__ I know what Ayame was fangirling about' was the only thing that went through Sakura's mind as she saw it. _

_Kakashi didn't look that special, but his smile was a show stopper. It started slow and just kept growing inch by inch until those perfect white teeth were shining at you. _

_It sparkled more than Gai's, that smile, and in a much less innocent way. _

_"__Yes, I had to." Kakashi swallowed dry then, and Sakura instinctively swallowed too. "Because I know exactly how you feel about Sasuke" he said then. _

_"__**WHAT**__?" Sakura exclaimed. "Oh, no, no, nononononono, don't you tell me you're in love with Sasuke too! Gods __**damn**__ it, I can't" _

_"__Eeeeh? __Wait, wait, no, no, __**NO**__!" __Kakashi went purple in the face as he interrupted her, frantically waving his hands in front of her. "Me, in love with Sasuke? Hell no, I'm in love with __**you**__! Er, uh… eeeeeeeeeep!" he cringed, and shoved his knuckles in his mouth. _

_Sakura's eyes went as big and round as dinner plates. _

_She blinked a few times, suddenly panting._

_"__**ME**__? But… but… how? Why? When?" she spluttered._

_"__I don't know! I don't know! Uh… about a year ago…" he mumbled the last sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. _

_She gaped at him in utter shock. _

_"__But, but, but I was never going to say anything, I'm not a pervert… er, at least __**that**__ much of a pervert" he said, and looked at her with worried eyes. "I just… I just know what you feel for Sasuke, because it's what I feel for you. You don't have to worry I won't do anything and"_

_Sakura's mind went blank, and she didn't even hear the rest, so inner-Sakura decided to take matters in her own hands, metaphorically speaking. _

_Sakura had pushed Kakashi over the desk and straddled him before he could finish what he was saying._

_She bent over him, and looked at him with serious eyes. _

_"__You love me" she said._

_Kakashi nodded quietly. _

_Sakura quickly put up a sound barrier. _

_"__Um, I didn't know you could do that" Kakashi began, and she kissed him. _

They had been together ever since. Sakura hadn't even tried to convince Kakashi not to go public, they had almost taken down the office door while consummating their budding relationship all night. Sound barriers only held sound in, after all.

Genma and Raidou had clapped at them when they finally came out of the office the next morning, along with what seemed the entire ANBU forces, damn SAI included. The ink-nin had even volunteered to draw a painting of them, getting a well-deserved knock to the head from Sakura.

However, not everyone had been happy for them.

Her mother was in heaven, and her father was proud, but soon enough the gossip mill reached Sakura's ears, and she began paying attention to the whispers in the street.

_'__Isn't that the Haruno harlot?'_

_'__She sure got over the Uchiha boy quickly… but then, the Hokage is a much better fish, right?'_

_'__Who could imagine Tsunade's pupil chasing near-senile old men…'_

_'__He's old enough to be her father, of course she's in only for the status!'_

_'__Poor Kakashi, how could he fall for that social-climbing slut?'_

_'__I knew Kakashi was a pervert, but a pedophile? Oh gods, he's worse than Orochimaru!'_

_'__Good thing the Daimyo doesn't have a son, or else she'd go for him next!'_

_'__Son? Ha, she doesn't seem to have any problem putting out for older men!'_

_'__How much do you think Kakashi is paying her?'_

_'__Can you believe her mother is all proud and happy over this? Seriously, whoring runs in that family…'_

What hurt the most was that Sakura had actually fallen in love with Kakashi, and realized that both Sasuke and Naruto had been right, she had never really loved Sasuke the way she believed she did.

She had fallen in love with Kakashi as she saw how caring, mature, and innocent at the same time, he was. As she saw him try to find a kind word for everyone who talked to him, and to try to defuse the issues between villages the best he could; as she saw him firmly ignore the stares and whispers and proudly hold her in public, and introduce her as his girlfriend in social functions – something not even Asuma had done with Kurenai, and they had been together for years before Shikamaru's sensei had died.

And as Sakura fell in love with him, she found she wanted to know everything about him, what he thought, liked, wanted. He was _interesting_ to her in a way Sasuke had never been, and she found there was nothing she wanted to change about the man, not even his Icha-Icha habit – hell, she had confided to him that she owned the entire Icha Icha Yaoi collection and they had read some of the books together, smut aside, the stories were actually good.

And because she loved him, she didn't want him to suffer because of prejudice.

Which led to her current predicament, as he came closer to her and she heard the low whispering.

"Sakura-san" he said, smiling under his mask, and offered his arm to her. She took it, blushing and seething in anger at the sound of mocking, badly concealed giggles.

He had escorted her home after they finished shopping together, and left for the Hokage tower after giving her a chaste kiss.

She closed her apartment's door and wondered, not for the first time, how Naruto was doing.

She hadn't really talked to him much for the past year, first because she was still mad at him, then because, as she realized first-hand how horrible being on the receiving end of prejudice was, out of shame.

If it was this horrible being misjudged for only being younger than her boyfriend, she couldn't imagine how bad Naruto felt, first being mistreated for being the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, then the Jinchuuriki for all the tailed beasts… no wonder he had gone entirely paranoid after the war.

Because he not only loved another man besides the whole Jinchuuriki issue, but he loved the most wanted man in the five Elemental Nations, and he would never be able to be with him, because of that fact.

Even if Naruto had only been queer, his life would have been horrible. Public displays of affection were frowned upon so much that even ordinary couples were extremely discreet (and that was one of the reasons Kakashi's public outings with Sakura caused such a commotion, besides the age difference and the fact he was the Hokage and she had come from a family with no clan affiliation), and because of the many wars, and short lifespans, homosexual behavior was frowned upon. It was tolerated for ninjas during missions, but men and women were supposed to marry for reproductive reasons, especially if they came from the more traditional clans, so almost all queer people led closeted lives, and the simple fact that they were a very small minority of the population acted against them, as well.

But putting that along with the fact Naruto was the only Jinchuuriki left and that he loved Uchiha Sasuke made the possibility of Naruto ever being able to keep any of his other hard-earned bonds while being true to his feelings for Sasuke impossible, let alone actually going after the Uchiha.

The Jinchuuriki had spies following him everywhere, in or out of the village. Some, unfortunately, from Konoha itself. Kakashi, like everyone else, believed Naruto would eventually seek Sasuke – he did have a permanent connection to the Uchiha, so he would always be able to find him, no matter where he was – and though the blonde had adamantly resisted both Ibiki's interrogation and more than a couple covert attempts to force him to disclose Sasuke's location, Kakashi wanted to be the first to know when Naruto went after the Uchiha, to be able to reach said Uchiha before anybody else could kill him.

Naruto was obviously aware of that. He never mentioned the Uchiha to anyone, and in fact, as time went by, he had slowly closed himself off from any unnecessary contact.

Sakura knew what Naruto did through Kakashi and Ino mostly (the girl eventually had given up on running after pretty boys and settled down with Choji of all people, and walked around with a stupidly happy grin on her face every day, which widened even more as she pushed all the sweets and pastries Choji gave her in an attempt to fatten her ass up a bit to everyone around her, including Sakura).

Sakura only never gave away the dango – Kakashi loved dango. One week when Choji had been specially insistent with Ino she had given the bag the girl gave her to Gai, and Kakashi had met her sporting a huge pout, saying Gai had flaunted Sakura's bag of dango in his face. So now Sakura saved those for him.

It was from Ino that she had known that Naruto had thanked Hinata for her support over the war, and let her down lightly.

From Kakashi, she had found out Naruto had begun avoiding training with other people, citing fear of hurting his friends as the reason.

From a very worried Konohamaru, she had found that Naruto had stopped hanging out with him and Iruka, preferring to either train alone or stay quiet at his apartment over Ichiraku's, also by himself, when not in missions.

He was still nice to everyone all the time, but people had commented to her Naruto had stopped being his usual touchy-feely self and kept a very respectful distance from any other person.

Two months ago, at the festivities for the end of the war's anniversary, Naruto had shown up, along with the other war heroes, but had left quickly afterwards, without spending time with either Gaara and Killer B.

Shikamaru had told her the Kazekage had gone to Naruto's home and tried to talk to him, but that Naruto had refused to acknowledge anything was wrong with him.

She knew through Kakashi that the blonde had never gone back to the Valley of the End.

Maito Gai, of all people, had once asked her if she knew of anything that might be bothering Naruto enough to make him start turning into somebody else, but she had weaseled out of the question in shame.

Well… Sakura for once wasn't going to be watching her childhood friend crumble from the shadows anymore.

She finished putting away the groceries and left her apartment resolutely.

A few minutes later, she knocked on Naruto's small apartment door.

Naruto answered the door with the fakest smile she ever saw on his face. It dropped as soon as he saw her.

"Sakura? Er, hi, what can I do for you?" he asked quietly, inviting her in.

She went inside the tiny space and saw it didn't look much lived in at all, as if Naruto only slept there.

She turned to him as he closed the door.

"Naruto…" she felt her eyes welling up with tears as she saw the bags under his eyes, and how muted his ordinarily shiny blonde hair and tanned skin looked.

The blonde looked like a broken man.

"I… I'm so sorry, Naruto. You were right, Sasuke was right, and I was so mean to you, I never even considered what you were going through" she started, but her words were cut short when her friend threw himself in her arms, sobbing.

"Oh gods" the blonde said as he cried, "thank you, Sakura-chan" he sobbed. "I'm so sorry I was mean to you, I can't live like this anymore, I know I can't have the bastard or be myself but losing you too was driving me insane."

She hugged him back tightly. "Baka Naruto… how can you say you were sorry when you were right all the time?"

Naruto looked at her and sniffled. "Is Kakashi-sensei treating you right? I will cut his balls off if he hurts you, you know that?"

"Oh no you don't, mister, those balls are private property!" she grinned at him. "Naruto, Kakashi makes me so happy, if I ever see that bastard Uchiha again I'll give him a bag of fresh tomatoes as thanks for being the son of a bitch he is. If Sasuke hadn't put me into that horrible genjutsu Kakashi would have never stood up for me and I'd probably never have known he was in love with me. And that genjutsu was the epitome of mean, so I think you can appreciate just how _insanely_ happy I am with Kakashi."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "Holy crap! You know that Sasuke likes tomatoes? How the hell do you know his favorite food? You never asked anyone before!"

She giggled. "Kakashi told me once. Can you believe I love hearing him talk? I've learned all kinds of stuff about everyone from him, he's actually very observant behind that Icha-Icha, you know."

Naruto gave her a true, genuine megawatt smile (his first one in over a year), and hugged her tightly again. "I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Come on, tell me EVERYTHING starting with Kakashi-sensei's face! You ARE gonna trick him out of that mask in front of me, aren't you? Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease?" he made his best puppy face at her.

Sakura laughed and followed him to his unused couch.

They spent all night talking and joking with each other as if nothing had ever come between them.

Across the continent, the last Uchiha smiled in his sleep at the happy tickle in the back of his head.


	6. Puberty

**A/N**: As always, ty all so much for your support and feedback :D Love you all!

Ok so in the interest of making this chapter PERFECTLY CLEAR, here are a couple of things you should know:

1. People who witness repeated acts of violence or who are victims of violence have a very high risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

2. In Sasuke's particular case, that chance would be over 100%, if that was even possible. The boy had lived in constant exposure to traumatic situations for OVER NINE YEARS before the events depicted in this fic.

3. One of the first symptoms of PTSD is pronounced lack of libido, to the point of nullifying the testosterone levels (btw testosterone is absolutely necessary for erections). Considering Sasuke has been exposed to the Uchiha massacre before he reached puberty, (and the simple fact Kishi draws him to look like a girl) the possibility of the events below happening is almost certain.

4. No, I don't think Sound was the den of sexual perversion most people believe it to have been. And I think that Orochimaru would try to keep Sasuke's mind off sex as much as he could, to avoid freaking the kid out with what giving his body over to Orochimaru would entail. Because seriously, one thing is thinking snake dude is going to take over your body and just do regular things with it, another one completely different is imagining snake dude fondling your dick, _with you watching it and not being able to do shit about it_.

5. The exercises shown in this chapter are actually quite common practices in religions that focus on communing with nature. They are not specific to one or other religion, I just used the main idea behind them. Some effects have been exaggerated, after all, this is STILL NARUTO.

That said, let's get the chapter going.

* * *

><p>It was raining when Sasuke woke up at dawn.<p>

He allowed himself the luxury of stretching thoroughly before getting up to his morning routine: go down to the nearby stream to get water, pick tea leaves from the bush near the hut, boil said water to death (living in an island that had been cholera-ridden the year before made drinking untreated water a BAD idea), let that water to cool, put a chlorine tab in it to dissolve, use the chlorinated water to wash cups, kettle, freshly picked tea leaves, brush his teeth and wash up, then go back to the stream _again_ to get more water (because they only had one metal pot, everything else was earthenware and if he used a jug to carry untreated water Taro-sama would cut his balls off and make him eat them _before_ telling Mitiro-sama and gods knew what that evil miko would do to him, but he was sure eating his own balls for breakfast would seem nice comparing to it), boil new water to death, then make tea. And fry up a couple of eggs for him and Taro-sama, while the monk woke up, washed up and decided what their day would be.

He had a weird sensation while stretching, and raised his head.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH!"

The yamabushi was up and waving his staff around himself in a flash. "Whass happenin? Tell that crazy miko I didn't do it!" he mumbled, and looked up.

Sasuke had stuck himself to the ceiling with chakra, and was hyperventilating.

"Dafuq are you doing up there, boy?" Taro asked, poking him with his staff.

"What the hell is happening to me?" Sasuke screeched.

"How the hell should I know? What are you talking about?" the monk asked in confusion.

"THIS!" Sasuke extricated himself from the ceiling and pointed at his groin, still terrified.

The monk followed the finger and started laughing so hard his knees wobbled and he sat down hard on his mat.

"What the hell are you laughing about? This is SERIOUS!" Sasuke screamed.

Taro took a few moments to recompose enough to speak, but eventually he was able to open his mouth without exploding in giggles.

"That, young grasshopper, is called an erection. Morning wood, technically speaking. Don't tell me you never had one? You do know how penises work, don't you?" the monk asked the last carefully.

"No, I never had one! And yes, I know how it's supposed to work, more or less, I mean, I had male team mates before the war, but nobody ever told me it was supposed to… to… get up by itself like this for no reason!" Sasuke exclaimed in an indignant voice, completely livid.

"Didn't any of your male friends ever talk about this? Or, you know, wake up like that, or get one of those at an onsen?" the monk had crossed his legs and was now supporting his head on one of his hands.

"Not with me they didn't. And I didn't exactly waste my time looking at my male friends' privates in the morning! And the only male friend who I think would ever have such a reaction in an onsen actually turned his body into water whenever we went to one and" Sasuke halted and went purple.

"OH SHIT! EW! EW! GROSS!" the Uchiha shivered in disgust. "If I ever see that _pervert_ Suigetsu again I swear I'll _boil_ him alive!"

The monk laughed again. "Ok, calm down" he said, as the laughing fit subsided, doing his best not to look at his apprentice's offended face lest the fit began again. "This is actually a good thing. It means you're finally healed enough that you can really begin your training."

One hour later, Taro and Sasuke stood one on each side of the stream nearest to the hut, under the rain.

"Ok, so your energy is mostly yin. That means the first part of your spiritual training will be studying water" the monk said.

"My clan specialized in fire jutsu" Sasuke responded automatically, and didn't even try to dodge when the monk swung the staff at his head.

"What was the first thing I told you about shugendō spiritual training, boy?" the monk asked.

"Shugendō is not ninjutsu" Sasuke answered, and gave the monk a quizzical look. "But it uses chakra, right?" he asked. "No. It uses what ninja call Nature Energy, but in a much more subtle way than Ninjutsu Sages use it. Pay attention." The monk warned, and held his staff out to Sasuke, who took it reverently.

The monk kneeled next to the stream, touched the water, then touched his forehead, and stood up.

"The secret to spiritual techniques is becoming one with the kami, and to become one with the kami you must understand the voice of nature. In this case, the yin voice of the water." He said, and began rubbing his hands together while chanting.

For a long while nothing happened, then suddenly tears began falling off Sasuke's eyes, he began to sweat profusely, and he peed in his robes. "How the hell did you do THAT?" he asked in shock.

"I asked the water to ask Suijin the water kami to call forth the water that runs inside you so you could understand that, as much as the water running down the stream and the water falling as rain, the water in your body is also a part of nature that Mizu no Kamisama rules." The monk winked at him.

Sasuke paled at the military possibilities of such a technique.

"No, you can't use that to kill anyone you want, young shugenja" the monk said as if he had just read Sasuke's thoughts. "The beauty of spiritual power is that, unlike chakra, it is not free to be used at one's whim or as one sees fit. It is ultimately controlled by the gods, to be humbly asked for and used to maintain balance. In battle, it can only be used if the kami allows it, and only to do what the person received express permission for."

"But what use does it have in battle if the kami won't allow you to kill with it?" Sasuke asked.

"Foolish apprentice, the objective of a battle is not to kill, but to subdue the enemy" Taro chastised him. "If the enemy cannot kill you, you do not need to kill him to win."

Sasuke blushed as he remembered that Naruto had pretty much defeated him twice already in that exact same way.

The monk jumped across the stream and patted his shoulder, as he retrieved his staff.

"Start by clearing your mind and focusing in feeling the water around you, in the air, over and into the ground, trickling over you. Once you feel you understand it, try opening your mind to it. Ask permission from the kami for it to reveal itself to you, and keep an open mind. It should be enough for today. Do not forget the correct breathing. I will retrieve you at the appropriate time." The monk said, and left Sasuke alone.

Sasuke sat down in the mud, with his knees bent and the soles of his bare feet touching. He began the breathing exercises to clear his mind, and began feeling his yin energy welling up as he prayed.

After a few minutes, his mind finally went blank, and he could focus on what his senses were telling him.

After an indefinable amount of time, Sasuke's heart almost skipped a beat.

_The earth pumped water around at the same speed his heart pumped blood through his body._

He struggled not to distract himself and lose the feeling.

After another indefinable amount of time, he noticed _the water evaporated from the soil in time with his breath._

After yet another amount of time, he wondered if he could try something, so he quietly asked the water kami permission to do it.

When the monk came to retrieve Sasuke, the young man was completely dry, and the rain fell everywhere but on him. The trickling water on the ground also parted ways before it reached him, coming together again a few inches away from his seated figure.

The monk noticed, though, a **very** large volume of water gathering a few inches over his apprentice's head. He smirked, and approached very quietly.

"Enough for today, young shugenja" Taro called from a distance. Sasuke opened his eyes and smiled, turning his head over his shoulder at his master.

The water immediately dropped on him, soaking him to the bone.

"That is not fair", the Uchiha looked to the sky as he mumbled with a pout, "You allowed me to do it!"

The monk laughed and laughed, slapping his knee.

"Ohohoho! Precious Mizu no Kamisama, that one gets them _every_ time!"

Sasuke could swear he heard a tiny little childish giggle through the rain drops.

That night, he dreamed of the usuratonkachi.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

Suijin or Mizu no Kamisama is the Japanese water god.

Oh, and Suigetsu DOES do that in the anime, at least. I DARE anyone to tell me he's not gay with a straight face, now.


	7. Wait for me

**A/N**: Hello, my dearies, did you like the last chapter?

Here's a treat for you, it's not smut, just sort of _ish_, but hey, at least the 2 idiots get together again, even for a bit. Bear with me, I SWEAR this poorly written story will go down the drain if I rush things between them and that all the waiting WILL be rewarded in a very emotionally and intellectually satisfying way in the end.

As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my crappy fic. Don't forget to yell if you want to ask anything, comment, complain or whatever, my inbox is like a good mother's heart, there's always room for everyone in it.

And now, for something completely the same (don't forget, Sasuke went to sleep last chapter, this is what happened in his dream):

* * *

><p>Sasuke opened his eyes, disturbed from his slumber by the bright moonlight coming through the window, and saw Naruto's face next to him.<p>

The usuratonkachi bumped his arm against him, and opened a bleary eye.

"Sasuke? Is this a dream?" he asked in a tired whisper.

Sasuke turned to lie on his back, and stretched.

"Is this a mattress?" he asked, and looked sideways at Naruto, who nodded.

"Definitely a dream, then" the Uchiha said, stretching his limbs with a satisfied grunt.

"Hey, watch it, teme, you're pushing me off the bed!" Naruto complained as he flayed his arms to maintain his precarious balance, having retreated to the edge of the bed as Sasuke proceeded to hog the narrow mattress for himself.

Sasuke turned his head to the usuratonkachi, feeling the warmth coming from the blonde, and suddenly pulled the young man's wrist, effectively toppling Naruto over his body and quickly slipping his arm around his friend's waist to firmly hold him there before wriggling into a more comfortable position and closing his eyes with a satisfied sigh.

"What the – holy shit you're naked, lemme GO!" Naruto yelped.

"Usuratonkachi" Sasuke began to say, in a calm, reasonable, yet tired, voice, "I am going to wake up in a drafty mountain hut with a leaking roof, in the middle of the damn winter, on the thinnest sleeping mat I have ever slept on, over a hard, uneven dirt floor, wearing one of the two damn rough homespun outfits I own, freezing my ass to death, after spending an entire day out in the icy rain trying to reason with a prankster water god. Please forgive me if I take advantage of this wonderfully soft mattress and your delightful body heat without giving a shit to dress and moral codes, just **shut your fucking yapper** and let me have this, will you?"

"Holy shit, this IS a dream, I never seen you so attached to physical comfort in my life" Naruto said, and snickered as he relaxed and laid his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke huffed. "Try spending over a year training under both a crazy monk and a homicidal miko even the gods won't cross on a cholera-ridden island in the middle of nowhere first before demanding stoicism from me" he said, and opened one eye. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Huh? Oh, I thought I'd go for a more grown-up, er, more respectable look. I'm an adult, better start looking like it, right?" Naruto said, and raised his head to better look at Sasuke's face, noticing the longer hair. "What about you, forgot your way to the barbershop?"

Sasuke snorted. "Usuratonkachi, I've been so damn cold and wet all the time, if it were even possible I'd have gotten as furry as a snow monkey by now. No fucking way am I going to waste money or cut my own hair when I don't even own an umbrella" he said, and smirked at the look on Naruto's face. "Now lie back down, dream or not your hair smells good."

They stayed quiet for a while, enjoying each other's presence.

"So", Naruto said, "which one are you training to be, monk or miko?"

Sasuke lazily poked the usuratonkachi's forehead. "What do you think? Monk, duh. Shugenja, in fact. The miko training me is just because my energy is yin-based and she can't just mind her own business" he mumbled, and then cringed, automatically regretting what he had just said.

Naruto apparently didn't notice what Sasuke's answer implied, though. "Oh. Hey, that's actually damn cool, I went to this monk temple once, met a guy that had some of Kurama's chakra in there, his name was Sora, we became good friends back then. Wonder what happened to him after all these years."

Sasuke huffed and absent-mindedly played with Naruto's cropped blonde locks. "You become friends with everyone, idiot. I wouldn't be surprised if you make friends with the entire island when you come for me", he said, giving another satisfied sigh. Dream!bed sure made his battered spine a happy camper.

Naruto snuggled into Sasuke's chest and put his arm around it, quietly enjoying his scent. "Why do you smell like moss?" he asked.

"No money to buy or stuff to make soap. Taro-sama taught me to use moss to scrub when bathing. It's not perfect, but it helps washing away the stink, especially after farm work."

Naruto chuckled at the image of his arrogant friend doing farm chores. "Been knee-deep in dung a lot then?" he teased, and Sasuke pulled on one of his locks.

"Hey, it's hard living there, we take all the jobs we can get. Not everyone can live in luxury like some usuratonkachi I know, it's not like I won't get my head cut off if I as much as sneeze towards the mainland" Sasuke complained.

Naruto felt tears come up to his eyes, and he blinked them away. "Tell me more, teme"

"What do you want to know?" Sasuke asked, going back to stroking the usuratonkachi's hair.

"Everything" Naruto answered earnestly. No other word could explain better how much he missed Sasuke, how badly he wanted to know what the man was doing with his life, what he thought, felt, if he missed him back, and dream!Sasuke or not, he needed to drink his words like a dying plant needs to be watered.

Sasuke whistled softly. He wondered if this dream was part of what Taro had labeled his "emotional healing process". Well, if you're in hell already, why not dance with the devil?

"Everything? Hn, ok, then. After we released the Tsukuyomi I ran off. Didn't really care which way I was going, to be honest, I just wanted to get away from everyone and everything – and yes, that includes you, I mean, when you gave me that friend line again I knew you'd never accept my confession to you, and considering I couldn't kill you to save my life – stop snickering, you goit, I swear if I weren't so damn comfortable I would wake myself now, don't give me even more reasons or I will do it" he half-heartedly threatened, and grunted when Naruto halted his giggling and hugged him harder, "and I had not only turned my back on everyone else already, and by the way can you believe Suigetsu kept turning his body into water every time we ever went to the onsen and I never realized how completely GROSS that was until yesterday?"

Naruto started laughing, then suddenly stopped and raised his head, giving Sasuke a serious look. "I am going to _evaporate_ that son of a bitch if that's true, you know" he said in a murderous tone.

"Please add pepper extract to the boil if you do it, and tell him I specifically instructed you to" Sasuke said, and shivered in disgust, as Naruto laid back down and grunted his assent.

"So, as I was saying, besides all that I knew no matter what you said against it somebody would eventually try to hunt me down, so all I could do was run away, and I did. But I was so"

"Scared" Naruto interrupted, and Sasuke knocked on his head.

"_Distraught_", Sasuke continued, "I didn't stop to eat or drink or anything, and eventually I just dropped out from exhaustion. Rather splendidly may I add, Taro-sama said it was the first lost soul the Buddha ever sent him straight out of the sky" he chuckled darkly. "He rehydrated me with a coconut IV, then"

"Wait, a _what_ IV?" Naruto asked.

"A coconut IV. Go ask Sakura if you don't believe me" Sasuke answered.

"Oh, oh, by the way, Sakura is with Kakashi now" Naruto said. "She said if she ever sees you again she'll thank you for being mean to her and forcing her out of her puppy love for you, because Kakashi would have never stood up for her if you didn't do it and then they would have never been together. They're really happy, ya know, and Kakashi is Hokage now, he's actually doing a good job, despite all the damn spies he's got watching me all the time, and"

Sasuke pulled his face up and kissed him on the lips. "Holy shit I've dreamt of this for so long" Naruto breathed when they parted.

"I figured that'd shut you up, but here you go being the number one unpredictable usuratonkachi again" Sasuke chuckled, blushing under the moonlight, and put his hand on Naruto's lips when the blonde slid up for another kiss. Naruto whined pitifully.

"Look, I had my first erection last morning and it freaked the hell out of me, don't scare me into waking up, will you?" Sasuke mumbled, and blushed darker when Naruto gave him a disbelieving look.

"You're kidding me" Naruto said, and his eyes went round when Sasuke shook his head.

"I'm not. I woke up and there was this hard thing between my legs, I jumped so hard I stuck my back to the ceiling" Sasuke said, and Naruto laughed out loud.

"Hn, funny story, that was Taro-sama's reaction too", Sasuke chuckled, "and then, when he asked me if I had never seen that happen to any of my male friends in the morning or at the onsen, I remembered about Suigetsu's nasty little habit", he continued, "and to make a long story short he said I was finally truly recovering from all the emotional trauma I've been in all my life, and made me deal with Mizu no Kamisama all day. I actually got something done too, but the kami is an asshole and gave me a freezing bath in the end. I'm lucky I didn't get a cold"

Naruto gasped. "Bastard did you just call a GOD an asshole?" he asked fearfully, and looked around as if afraid of being hit by lightning.

"Pffft Mitiro-sama – that's the nosy homicidal miko I told you about – does way worse, and to Amaterasu, no less" he waved his hand dismissedly at the usuratonkachi's stunned look, "monks and miko are really intimate with the kami, you have no idea. Especially Mitiro-sama, she even got Amaterasu to let her get married."

"Wait, I know I'm not very learned about religion but aren't miko supposed to remain maidens or something?" Naruto asked, looking up at him.

"Yup, but apparently there's a loop in the rules that allows for miko to marry other women", Sasuke answered.

Naruto's eyes went as big and round as dinner plates, and his heart started beating so fast he could feel it at the back of his throat.

"Wait, are you telling me people of the same sex can get _married_ where you're living now?", he asked in a semi-desperate tone, "and **_nobody cares_**?"

The Uchiha nodded, and Naruto moved up to look straight into his eyes with a hopeful look. "Not only women but men too?" he asked again.

"Um, yes, after Mitiro-sama got married to Haruka-san and neither of them were burned to cinders by the Sun goddess and Amaterasu kept on blessing them as if nothing had happened, people decided if the gods don't care they shouldn't either. I helped Taro-sama officiate the wedding of two guys at our village like, last month, it's a rare occurrence because most people fall in love with people of the other sex but that's all there is to it there", Sasuke said, and frowned, "why are you so stunned by that? It's not as if we're really having this conversation, usuratonkachi."

Naruto was giving him the exact same intense look he had on his face when Sasuke had saved him from Haku's attack at Wave.

"Promise me one thing. Just one thing, Sasuke" the blonde said.

Sasuke nodded with a questioning look in his face, and Naruto put his right hand over the shugenja apprentice's lips to stop him from talking, the crescent moon marks on the back of his hand shining under the moonlight.

"Promise me you'll wait for me. I've got something I absolutely must tell ya… wait for me.*" Naruto said, and caught his open mouth in a searing kiss.

Sasuke hadn't been kidding when he had told Naruto not to scare him into waking up. The feeling of Naruto's tongue sliding into his mouth sent an electric shock through his whole body, and the man woke up with a silent scream in an orgasm-induced full-body Chidori.

The last Uchiha grimaced at the smoke coming from his damp, soiled clothing, and snorted.

"Stupid Naruto, like I had anywhere else to go to anyway" he grunted, before getting up for yet another day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

*see what I did there? If you look closely there are a lot more easter eggs for you to find, go ahead, I'll wait for you to find them and call out to me about the ones you do.


	8. Free ramen, dreams and orange socks

**A/N**: Guest, that's really too bad. Can't please everyone, I guess. Couldn't forgive myself if I didn't give Sakura a realistically way to overcome her as of yet in canon extremely immature, selfish view of things.

And no, I am a lesbian myself but I don't see InoSaku happening in a canon-based fic, Kishimoto's Sakura is so bidimensional (what else am I supposed to think? She's spent 697 chapters repeating her own self-centered speeches _ad nauseam _whenever she's around Sasuke and every time the subject of Sasuke comes up between her and Naruto she seemly can't help but try to manipulate Naruto into doing whatever she wants at the moment without regards to what he himself feels in that matter) that she can't realistically be written with the depth of character necessary for someone to develop into an endearing and realistic queer character.

She would forcibly become a caricature of her already underdeveloped canon character, in the best of cases, turning into the ultimate self-denying "But I'm a cheerleader" lesbian. I've seen that movie, btw. I like comedy but "Blue is The Warmest Colour" is more my cup of tea when it comes to films about queer women such as myself.

I can see her being much better developed without doing anything stupid to Naruto because of Sasuke and thus having to swallow a nice large chunk of humble pie to grow up as a person when it comes to relationships in an AU fic than in a canon one.

Hope you'll find many more fics that suit your tastes better :D

* * *

><p>"Oi, Naruto! Get up and invite me for breakfast, Ayame-san said I can get my ramen free if you come down to eat with me!" Sakura yelled as she hammered on Naruto's door.<p>

No respectable ninja would EVER turn down a free meal, and Sakura not only was a respectable ninja but had just realized living by herself and paying all her own bills cost a LOT of money, and no way would she turn down the opportunity to spend food money on other stuff she'd be able to use a lot more, namely frilly underwear.

Kakashi was a sucker for frilly underwear. Especially _pink_ frilly underwear.

"Will ya hold your horses, I'm coming, geez, someone will think you're pre" Naruto started, came to a screeching halt, then ran to open the door without bothering to finish putting his shirt on, then pulled Sakura inside the apartment and closed the door before whispering, "You're not _pregnant_, are you?" with a squint.

Sakura gaped and knocked his head. "Are you drunk? Of course not, stupid, I've been withholding chakra from my womb since I had my first period!"

Naruto wheezed a breath out, putting his right hand over his heart. "Thank God, I am so not ready to be an uncle"

"Holy fucking gods _what_ is **_that_**?" Sakura interrupted him, pointing at his arm.

"Oops" Naruto said, and scratched the back of his head. "Uh, remember when me and the bastard kinda released the Tsukuyomi jutsu together? You saw the marks then, didn't you?" he explained.

"I did, but it only covered half your arm back then, now they're all the way to your shoulder and leaking through to your torso!" Sakura said in shock, and pulled Naruto by his left side towards the bathroom. "See? Why did you hide that from me, Naruto?"

Naruto looked at his reflection in wonder. He knew the markings went all the way up to his shoulder, but there were definitely new markings around his shoulder blades now – and not only crescent moons, but…

"Shit, there are Uzumaki swirls next to the moons too!" Sakura exclaimed, and Naruto nodded, speechless.

Tiny swirls could be seen next to the crescent moons, not big or close enough to touch them, but there nonetheless.

"Sakura-chan could you go downstairs and get us breakfast with one of my clones? I have to tell you something I think happened to me." He asked in a serious voice, and summoned a clone, who quickly picked up his jacket, an orange rubber glove Naruto kept around for emergencies, and quickly pushed Sakura out of the apartment while the original stood unblinking in front of the mirror.

"Naruto, what" Sakura started, but the clone put a finger to his lips with a serious face.

"Not now" the clone said, and they went down the stairs.

Naruto's heart was beating so fast he began hyperventilating, and leaned over his arms on the sink for support.

"Holy double-egg Ichiraku special" Naruto panted, looking at his blue eyes reflected in the mirror. "It wasn't just a dream."

He stood there trying to jumpstart his brain back to thinking, until Sakura came back.

"I'm here, your clone stayed down there helping Ayame-san with the customers" she called out, putting the bowls on the tiny table. Naruto got out of the bathroom and swayed on the way to his chair.

Sakura ran and caught him before he fell face-first on the floor. "Naruto, what's going on? Are you all right?"

"Sasuke" Naruto wheezed. "I dreamed about him last night. But it wasn't a dream, it was really him, he _was_ here, with _me_, all night."

Sakura's eyes went round as she helped him onto the chair. "What? How? Why? When? Where is he?" she asked, looking around the tiny apartment. "Did he leave again?"

"I woke up in the middle of the night and he was lying next to me in bed. I thought it was a dream, I even asked him, and he said it was after asking me about the mattress, and oh dear gods Sasuke thought _he_ was dreaming when I thought _I_ was dreaming but we were both awake right here and" Naruto spluttered.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Here, get some food inside you so you'll wake up and make some sense, baka" Sakura said, handing him the chopsticks, which Naruto broke, saying a weak "Itadakimasu" automatically under his breath.

Sakura watched as Naruto stared into the ramen, until tears welled up in his eyes and he broke down crying, dropping the chopsticks and holding his head in his hands.

She touched his left arm soothingly, waiting for him to regain enough composure to speak. Having grown enough for her head to snap out of her own ass had given her plenty of patience and awareness to not interrupt her friend's thoughts, especially when it came to his bond with Sasuke. If anyone else had said they had been with the Uchiha in a dream and that had turned out to be real, she would dismiss it without a thought.

But not Naruto.

In the month that had passed since they had regained their friendship bond the blonde hadn't mentioned Sasuke after that first night, except when they recalled some amusing memory of their times as team seven. He had never talked much about how much he suffered their distance, or how afraid he was of being found out (paranoid was a much better adjective but Naruto wouldn't admit that to save his life) and having his feelings for the Uchiha turned against him, used as prejudice fodder to break his other bonds or worse, used to coax him into seeking Sasuke and thus exposing the man he loved to death by execution.

So Sakura waited for the twenty minutes it took for Naruto to calm down and recompose himself, before he began talking.

"I know it wasn't a dream or a genjutsu, because nothing can change these" he touched the markings on his arm, "not even all my chakra and the beasts' combined. You remember how hard I tried to get rid of them." He said, and Sakura nodded. Naruto had gone as far as peeling the skin off himself for months on end in his terror of having them found out, but the skin grew back already marked, as if the patterns had been imprinted into his genes.

Only Sakura and Kakashi knew that his bond with Sasuke went as deep as to have them know where the other was all the time, but since the markings were so obviously related to Sasuke's own palm pattern, Naruto had ended up using the fact his arm always appeared mangled because of the continuous self-harm he inflicted it as an excuse to keep it bandaged, saying something about his bond with Sasuke must've been off and not as perfect as thought because his skin kept "coming off by itself" and never fully healed.

Naruto had used the whole Indra/Ashura business as his excuse to "spare" his former friend, the blonde having then sworn the bond between them had ended the minute Kaguya had been killed and that he had no idea where the Uchiha might have run off to, and the only other person apart from Tsunade, Kakashi and Sakura who knew of Naruto's markings was Konohamaru, who had never broken Naruto's trust and even so had been one of the reasons for Naruto's progressive isolation.

Naruto chuckled dejectedly. "I was sure it was a dream, though, because he seemed so at peace, I had never seen him like that, it was like he was before all the shit that happen, even Orochimaru, only… only even better" he said, "he stretched up and hogged the whole bed, then when I complained he" Naruto blushed, "he said he was going to wake up in the hard dirt freezing to death, so he told me to shut the fuck up and let him have his comfort while he could" he said, with a small smile.

Sakura laughed. "Oh gods that's so much like little Sasuke" she giggled, and Naruto looked at her in disbelief. "What, don't you remember?"

Naruto shook his head.

"You two kicked each other's asses all night because Sasuke would keep on stealing your blankets, that boy was always feeling cold at night, even in summer, I remember this one time in the middle of winter an old lady knitted you a pair of socks – orange socks, mind that – and you only wore them once before they disappeared"

"And I cried like a baby for _weeks_ because they were the only socks I ever had in my life, I remember that, I never got any again, too!" Naruto said excitedly. "And I remember the blanket thing but I always thought the bastard did that to rile me up, not because he was actually feeling cold!"

"Well, guess what, I inadvertently got into your tent while you were out on your watch" Naruto snorted at that, and Sakura laughed, "Ok, not as much as inadvertently as on purpose, and there were Sasuke's feet out of the blanket in your orange socks!" she laughed heartily at Naruto's gaping face, "I never told you because he woke up and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone about it, first time he pointed a kunai at my throat, too" she said, and guffawed as he spluttered in righteous fury.

"That fucking asshole stole the only pair of socks I ever got" Naruto complained heatedly, "and I can't even demand them back from him because he ain't got a pot to piss on, that rotten bastard!"

"Really?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah. He said he's off on this cholera-ridden island in the middle of nowhere, training under a monk and a miko", Naruto explained.

Sakura looked constipated for a moment, and then got up, raising her right index finger to him to excuse herself before running to the bathroom.

Naruto came to the door and knocked, and then pushed it open to find Sakura rolling around on the floor suffocating her laughter in a towel.

"Dude I know it's funny but it's not THAT funny, come on" Naruto said with a stupefied expression.

Sakura looked at his confused expression and fell into unabashed mirth again, throwing the towel over her face to smother her giggles.

"Aw, come on, dude's not killing anybody, he's working hard for next to nothing and he's even doing farm work" Naruto said in a hurt tone.

Sakura took a couple long breaths and stood up on shaky legs. "Naruto… what exactly do you think a miko does in a farm?" She asked, trying to put up a half-decent poker face.

"How the hell should I know? The only miko I ever met was Shion and you remember she lived in this big-ass shrine, she didn't have to _work_ work, all she did was pray and perform rituals and stuff!" he answered, throwing his arms up.

Sakura clicked her tongue and tried her best to keep a straight face. "Naruto… village miko usually attend as, well… not that there _isn't_ any other work for them, but it's pretty much basic medical work and, midwifing most of the time. Considering Sasuke's a man even with all that yin energy, no wonder the miko wants him to train under her as well as under his hoshi-sensei, especially for help when it comes to the largest, more difficult animals, like horses or cows."

"Midwhatnow?" Naruto asked, frowning.

"Birthing, Naruto, woman work. It's part of a miko's duties because they're all women, and yin energy is related to females. Sasuke is helping the miko during animal labor… or at least I hope so, imagining Sasuke pulling a newborn calf out of a cow is disturbing enough without putting an actual woman's labor in the picture", she said, snickering.

She stopped when she saw the look of love-induced awe on his face.

'Sasuke's helping bring lives into the world' Naruto thought, and his lip began to tremble as he imagined the bastard with baby animals – of course, in his totally biased urban view, it looked exactly the opposite of the hard, grueling, bloody, thankless and actually _dangerous_ work it was, so all Naruto could see were clean, pretty TV commercial baby calves and foals happily prancing around the smirking asshole while he gave a milk bottle to a baby lamb in his arms– doing exactly the opposite of what had fucked up his mind his whole life.

Sakura knew exactly what Naruto was feeling in this moment because his face had the same endearing, hopelessly love-whipped look hers had whenever she heard of some of Kakashi's new ideas for the ninja villages, like new orphanages and student exchange programs like Konoha and Suna had, so she couldn't hold back a soft smile as she saw a couple of tears drop from his eyes.

She decided that no matter how fantastic-looking Naruto's story was, the fact the markings on his body were really changing gave them at least partial credit.

"Oh! Sakura-chan, what's a coconut IV?" Naruto asked with wide eyes after they were back at the couch.

"A coconut IV? Oh that's what you do when you have no access to professional grade IV fluids but are somewhere where there are green coconuts, and have to save someone who's dying from dehydration. It works because the coconut water is germ-free and around the same pH and mineral balance blood has" Sakura explained, "it's only ever been used on extreme emergency conditions, since IV fluids are dirt-cheap nowadays".

"Sasuke told me Taro-sama, that's his hoshi-sensei by the way, gave him one when Sasuke collapsed on top of him", Naruto told her.

"That's not ordinary monk knowledge", Sakura said, frowning.

"Oh, no, he's not a regular monk, he's shugenja, whatever that is", Naruto told her, "dude is learning all this cool stuff like talking to gods and everything, he said Mizu no Kamisama threw a bucketful of water on his head", he snickered, "oh I wish I could have seen that. He said Mitiro-sama, that's the miko that's been helping in his training, is Amaterasu's miko. What god is Amaterasu, by the way?" he asked, "all we have in Konoha are family ancestor shrines, none dedicated to kami, and we never got to learn what god Shion served"

"Oh, Amaterasu? She's the sun goddess, sister and wife to Tsukuyomi, the moon god" she said absent-mindedly. Ninja loved using the gods' names for their techniques but were notoriously atheist by principle, as the military life tended to bring out a rather materialistic side to them.

Naruto almost jumped, remembering how distinctively bright the moon had been in his "dream".

"It's all superstition, though. I mean, actual real kami and mushi don't exist, we haven't ever seen any, right?" She gave him an uncertain smile. Naruto's story looked, to her atheist mind, like an extremely elaborate dream caused by something changing in his chakra connection with Sasuke, and considering Sasuke's symbol had been the moon, and Naruto's the sun, maybe… maybe this whole dream might mean their connection was finally beginning to sever and his mind was trying to cope with that the best way it could.

In Naruto's mind, the exact opposite idea was breeding like wildfire, because despite being a ninja, Naruto had been exposed to enough unexplainable and otherworldly experiences to keep his already naturally open mind (he did have one fox demon as a permanent tenant inside him since his birth, had interacted with ghosts, seers and whatnot, after all) even wider.

Besides, even though the return of his bond with Sakura had helped him a lot, having that "dream" interaction with Sasuke had given a hope and an optimism he hadn't felt ever since the stupid Uchiha had gone insane in the membrane and turned on him at the fourth war.

Which meant that, for the first time in over a year, Naruto felt like **himself**.

* * *

><p>AN: Yup, like in many, and I do mean MANY ancient polytheistic religions sibling gods being married to each other is a normal occurrence in Japanese Shinto mythology.

Can you hear a choir of "Number one unpredictable ninja" yells in the distance? Yeah, so can I. And now that I only have the foggiest idea of where this is going, I'm getting worried at what the usuratonkachi might come up with. Brace yourselves, we've officially entered uncharted channeling-as-I-write territory. Not that I ever do anything much different, but at least until now Naruto's improbability-drive hadn't entirely come into play. All I know is that this is not the last you'll hear about those orange socks.


	9. Parallels

Ok everybody gather round, I gots an announcement to make!

*clears throat*

My dear friend Kizukatana has this AMAZING fic here: Healing the Broken GO READ IT TOO, it's really really good.

Thank you all who are reading my poorly written words, here's what's been going on with Sasuke while Naruto starts heating up his improbability drive. As always, throw me an ask brick if you need or want anything, feedback is the food of the muse, people!

And now, for something completely different:

* * *

><p>Winter wasn't as hard in the small island as it was up north in the continent where it snowed in this time of the year, but combined with the squalor in which everyone lived it made keeping healthy a difficult task to the young and fit, let alone the elderly.<p>

And so it was that one very weary Uchiha Sasuke came down the mountain and spent over half the day travelling under the neverending rain to Mitiro-sama's small shrine in the central village.

The old monk had come down with the flu the past week, and Sasuke had run out of options but to seek the miko's help. He had tried to reason with his hoshi-sensei, but since the man wanted nothing to do with rest and the northern village was closest to Mitiro-sama's than any of the other villages (not to mention that Sasuke had met all the other clerics and the older miko was undoubtedly THE medical authority in the entire island), the Uchiha had simply tied the wiry geezer up and dragged his weak sneezing ass down for treatment, not only in fear of falling sick himself and dying in the hut but also because, well, he had to admit he had taken a liking to the restless hermit.

Taro was the strangest self-proclaimed hermit Sasuke had ever heard about, let alone met. The old shugenja just couldn't be a regular hermit and keep to himself, he, like all the other clerics in the island by the way, took upon himself the duties of protector, doctor, advisor, teacher, and conciliator to all disputes that happened in his territory.

He made friends with everyone, unlike Mitiro-sama.

The Amaterasu priestess enjoyed solitude and didn't trust anyone except her wife, but by some unfathomable reason everyone felt drawn to her, much to her chagrin. She had this kind, patient, meek air about her that completely betrayed her harsh personality and just blinded everyone into seeing her as some kind of benevolent mother figure, even as she whooped their asses, as she was currently doing to Sasuke's hoshi-sensei.

*_WHOP_*

"Stupid idiot piece of shit! What the hell did you do with your damn personal medicine stash?" the miko growled at Taro, who gave her a defiant scowl, that was promptly ruined by a loud sneeze.

"Wait, he had a personal medicine stash?" Sasuke asked, frowning.

"Both of you had, I gave it to him last month before the first heavy rains started" Haruka called from the corner where she was putting down a battered futon for the monk.

*_WHOP WHOP_*

"You gave your medicine away AGAIN, didn't you, you fool? How many" *_WHOP_* "times do I have to tell you" *_WHOP_* "you can't do your stupid job" *_WHOP WHOP WHOP_* "if you're sick?" the miko snarled between strikes.

"The Yamadas all fell ill together, what would you have had me do, crazy woman?" Taro complained between coughs.

***_THUMP_***

"Ow!" the old man complained, and the fearsome miko raised her fist again, but was stopped by her wife.

"Will you please refrain from killing our idiotic friend before he finishes training poor Nanigashi-san?"the tall woman said, and kissed the miko's lips when the short priestess grumbly let her arm down. "Thank you".

"Now, if you promise me not to beat the crap out of him anymore, I'll go with Nanigashi-san to Hisashi's, it's about time I make my yearly sale, anyway, so I can come back with enough supplies to last the rest of the winter" Haruka said, and went into their private room.

The couple lived in the shrine, which had stone and rammed-earth walls, and consisted of one large room for the goddess' rituals, one smaller room for patients and visitors, and an even smaller one, about 10 by 8 feet, for their private use. Food preparation was done in an outside structure, and there was an outhouse on the other side of the small property. Next to the yamabushi's rundown shack, it was the height of luxury, but then the shrine tripled as hospital and court for three other villages.

Only Hisashi's village was well-structured enough not to depend on the central village's shrine, since it housed the only tiny port in the island and produced the main staple food everyone consumed, which was taro root.

Sasuke had taken a long, long time to get used to mashed taro root. To say it was an acquired taste for him was an understatement, he'd rather eat frog, even if he had been friendly with the creatures ever since hearing about Naruto going under the Toad Sennin's tutelage.

He was shocked out of his reverie by seeing Haruka come back into the improvised infirmary in full old-fashioned, but still very recognizable black ANBU attire, _sans_ mask. The only thing missing was a headband or other affiliation symbols.

He heard a wheezing sound and looked to the side to see his hoshi-sensei laughing.

"Dear gods only you would keep that outfit after almost twenty years" the monk chuckled.

"It's better than my usual for emergency travel. Wouldn't have to get it out of its chest if you didn't act like the fool you are, but since you are a fool, I have to keep this thing." Haruka said, wrapping her long blood-red braid around her head and securing it with a few well-placed pins, which under closer inspection were actually senbon with a mother-of-pearl fragment stuck on one end of each.

It was the first time ever since setting foot on the island that Sasuke had seen ninja gear, and he gave her a quizzical look.

"I'll tell you about this when we make camp tonight. I take it you're trained as well, so the travelling will be much faster. We should get there at nightfall and camp outside the village, so as not to disturb anyone." She turned to Mitiro and gave her a kiss.

"Be careful" the miko said in a low voice, with a worried face.

"I will. Don't worry; we'll be back right after breakfast." The miko's wife said, and they left through a side door.

"Keep your chakra levels only high enough to travel and we should be fine" Haruka told Sasuke, and quickly ran up a large tree.

Sasuke followed the redhead, noticing that even though she was old for a ninja (by his calculations both she and the miko should be around their mid-forties), let alone an inactive ninja, she was extremely fast and nimble. Not as much as Sasuke, but then the Uchiha had left the realm of normal ninjas a long time ago.

It was twilight when she raised her hand and scouted the area before landing on a small strip of beach, where they made camp for the night.

"Spill" Sasuke told her as they sat down for a small meal of mashed taro root and dried fish. He had become more uneasy by the hour ever since seeing the woman in ninja attire, and was just about ready to snap at her.

Haruka had changed into her usual rough spun civilian clothes, and smiled at him as they ate inside a very old military-issue tent.

"Taro-sama has probably told you there are a number of ninja in the island, right? Well, I'm one of those", she said.

"I was an ANBU assassin from Amegakure when I was younger. One day I was assigned with assassinating a bunch of little kids that were running a non-government peace-seeking organization that helped out small villages around the country, and upon close investigation I decided I had enough of Hanzo's half-assed politics, so I split", she explained.

Sasuke's eyes went as wide as saucers. "You met the Akatsuki?" he asked.

"Yeah, I approached them and realized Yahiko was a much better option of leadership than Hanzo. I had no political power or anything much to offer them, but I could refrain from killing them, at least. You know what happened to them?" she asked.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes, nodding. "You don't want to know", he said in a tired voice.

She nodded quietly, and started eating again. He looked at her for a few minutes. Nagato had been related to the Uzumaki, he remembered, and she had red hair.

"Are you by chance related to the Uzumaki?" he asked.

"Yes, part of the clan escaped to Rain when Uzushio was destroyed", she said, rubbing her hands. "There are actually a lot of us spread around. Oh, and Uchiha, too", she commented casually.

Sasuke dropped his food, reflexively closed his eyes to hide the Sharingan and the Rinnegan, and started crawling backwards out of the tent in panic, but she shushed him. "Calm down boy, if I meant you any harm you would've been turned in ages ago".

Sasuke curled his body into a ball and whimpered. She sighed, scuttled closer to him, and pulled him into her arms, stroking his hair. "Shhhhhh, it's ok. You're safe here, little Uchiha. No one will find you, and no one cares what you did before, really. What goes on in the continent stays in the continent", she whispered, and kissed the top of his head.

"Wanna hear a really funny story, one that'll keep you up in stitches all night?" the miko's wife asked after he had stopped trembling in fear.

He nodded quietly.

"Well, you know that people say Mitiro was appointed her miko by Amaterasu no kamisama herself, don't you?" she asked, and Sasuke nodded again. "Well, Mitiro was apprentice miko at a shrine dedicated to Tsukuyomi no kamisama in some backwater small country way up north when she was little. She was this prodigy scholar child there, too. She learned to read when she was three years old, and by five she had learned all of the gods' legends and rituals. The big guy up there is the moon god because the land thrives on cod fishing, so the tides are really important to them." She started stroking the young man's hair while she talked.

"One day when she was nine, her moon blood came and the head miko set her ordinance ceremony for the next full moon. And then the next day when Mitiro woke up, Amaterasu no kamisama just hijacked her body and started out of the temple, bold as brass, giving the finger to everyone and telling them Mitiro was hers" she said, and started giggling.

Sasuke raised his head and looked at the redhead with amused awe. "Really?" he asked.

Haruka nodded, still giggling. "Really, and when the head miko tried to tell her she had been promised to Tsukuyomi no kamisama, Amaterasu no kamisama knocked her in the head and told her she'd deal with her husband herself, and just waltzed off like a boss out of there", the woman explained.

"Mitiro says the sun goddess walked her all the way from there to here, and that when the people saw her walking over the sea with all those flames over her body they threw themselves on the ground in fear, and were even more terrified at the curses coming out of her mouth. Apparently they had never met a miko who channeled the gods while awake, much less one that argued with the kami during the taking", she told Sasuke, who by now had joined in the laughter.

"A couple of years later Taro-sama came to the island running away from his ninja village, and was taken as apprentice by the previous yamabushi that took care of the northern part of the island, much like he took you. He and Mitiro became fast friends then." She snorted, "I think he even fell in love with her, but by then not only Mitiro had already been miko in this island for nearly twelve years, and though she complains a lot, she's crazy about the job, but she had also realized she didn't like men that way. And then I came around, and became friends, and after a little while I realized she was the greatest good I was ever going to get in this world, and possibly the next, too, so having nothing to lose and all to gain I made my move. Best damn thing I ever did", she said.

"Feeling better, Nanigashi-san?" she asked Sasuke.

The young man nodded, and moved away from her.

"Thank you, Haruka-san. I hope someday I can actually be with my greatest good" he said with a sad, but sincere tone in his voice.

She snickered. "Oh, if that's the one Amaterasu no kamisama mentioned when she met you I wouldn't worry about it, the sun goddess is a stubborn one, but one of the kindest to her children, too", she commented with a smile.

Sasuke returned the smile with a small one of his own.

"So what will you be selling tomorrow, the senbon?" he asked later, as they lay in the darkness under the tent.

"My senbon? Hell no, I'm selling my hair" she answered. "Hairdressers will pay a lot of money for it, especially if it's well treated and long. And one thing about Uzumakis is that our hair grows like nobody's business, so I sell it once a year, right at the end of winter. That's why I spend spring with my hair short" she explained.

Sasuke felt humbled by the woman's generosity. "Thank you, Haruka-san. You didn't have to spend your money on us", the Uchiha said.

She shrugged. "It's just hair, shugenja. It grows back, and if I didn't do it Mitiro might've up and done something stupid like sell one of her teeth", she said.

Sasuke gaped. "What?"

Haruka nodded, "As a relic. She did it once when a hurricane destroyed half the island. Her story is well known in the Land of Swamps, and she got enough money to rebuild every single home that was destroyed by selling one of her wisdom teeth. Got a really bad infection then, though, almost scared me and Taro to death. That's when I found out about the hair trade, been doing it ever since."

Sasuke nodded. He would have done the same for Naruto in a heartbeat. That was the main reason why he had tried to kill the usuratonkachi so many times; he knew that while the blonde was alive he'd never be able to allow for anyone or anything to hurt him.

Hell, he had spared Sakura because of the man's feelings for her, and she had spent years annoying him to no end, so much so he had had repeat nightmares where she led a fangirl hunting party after him. Even Karin had been a little less annoying, at least the Uzumaki girl was honest about wanting him for sex alone (not that he had ever batted an eyelash to that possibility or could've done anything about it if he did, anyway). Sakura had been completely, utterly _insane_.

He wondered about his dream with Naruto. Some parts of it had felt suspiciously real, and he wondered if the connection they shared maybe let some of what they knew reach one another. If that were true, he really hoped she had snapped out of her misery and found happiness with Kakashi, as the blonde had told him in the dream. It would be one less annoyance, and maybe even one little good deed in his favor, twisted as it may be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Hair IS actually a very expensive commodity, and the rarer the natural color, the better. It can be donated to make wigs for cancer patients, too. And considering the size of the Uchiha clan before the foundation of Konoha, it's not unfeasible that some people from that clan had decided to leave the Fire Country and mixed in with other clans, as it happened to the Uzumakis. So yeah, that's my little way of giving comfort to all those crazies who would like the Uchiha genes to stay in the pool.


	10. Small jokes, huge consequences

**A/N**: Holy crap I hate crying over my own writing, I feel like an utter idiot. Couldn't avoid it this time, though. Homophobia is something so insidious that it can creep and fester, like cancer, into the nicest hearts. And many times the person that perpetuates the horrible cycle of hatred that is prejudice can't even begin to understand what they did, due to simple, basic ignorance about how mental processes work.

Kakashi's stupid freaking out from a gay joke then joking about it to make Naruto freak out about the same thing afterward is true, it happened at least twice in canon. Maito Gai telling Lee, and quite possibly both Neji and Tenten as well, that being queer **is** normal and just another expression of love is also canon.

Maito Gai will be **MAH HERO FOREVER** for that one line, and no, making him queer in my fic does not spoil his character at all; one does not need to be queer to teach someone not to be homophobic, but it IS true that many successful, well-balanced queer people choose to work with queer youth to help them overcome psychological and emotional issues caused by homophobia and to show them that there are actual good role models for them to follow and still be who they are.

As always, thank you guys for reading, please do share your thoughts about this extremely important chapter.

To **Korregidora** about last chapter: Not every Uchiha carries the Sharingan, so there is a higher probability of Uchihas leaving the main clan and surviving somewhere else. About Mitiro and her goddess' interactions, it is an exaggeration of an intimacy between clerics and gods that DOES exist in ancient polytheistic religions. Old gods are flawed, and so they are much more understanding of human nature and approachable than the distant only god of monotheistic religions. Thanks for the review, you always notice something cool :D

And now, for something completely different, but also exactly the same:

* * *

><p>Naruto's hands and shins were pretty much minced meat, but he didn't even flinch as he kept hitting the granite.<p>

Ordinary wood posts had been replaced so many times in this particular training ground, Kakashi had given up and had decided to install three stone boulders instead.

Naruto had already pulverized two of them, with no special moves or chakra use whatsoever.

Kurama had tried to reason the blonde into stopping the self-torture so that his chakra could at least heal the damage he was inflicting to himself, to no avail, so the fox gave up and went to sleep as he did every day, hoping his Jinchuuriki would still be sane enough to stop before killing himself.

'Three weeks' were the words haunting the blonde's brain. Three weeks without dreams. Plenty of the usual bone-chilling nightmares, just not dreams. Especially one particular dream Naruto was desperate to relive.

In those three weeks Sakura had tried to cheer him up twice, before resorting to tell Naruto that the dream/not dream the Uzumaki had had about his long lost friend might have been a sign that their bond was "reaching its natural course" and the new markings in his arm were a reflection of that.

Naruto knew Sakura was trying to be kind, but he had gone insane with panic.

Which, considering the blonde was still being monitored 24/7 and had not one soul to help him reach the Uchiha, as he was sure Sakura was being spied on herself (he could not imagine why else had she not suggested a way for him to reach Sasuke) was the reason for his current predicament.

"He's not dying. I'll find a way. He's not dying." was the mantra the blonde repeated through clenched teeth, blood seeping through his forehead and mixing with his angry tears.

Naruto had been able to function properly through the first week and a half, but as the second began to end he had steadily cracked until he had been reduced to a mindless drone that only woke up, went to the training grounds, threw himself against the boulders until there was nothing left of them, went back home and slept for over twelve hours.

It was this sorry state of affairs that Konohamaru witnessed from afar.

The young ninja had been extremely worried for his friend for over a year already, but had kept his suspicions to himself in respect for his borrowed brother's life choices.

However, he couldn't just leave the blonde alone with his demons anymore. He firmly believed that whatever it was that had broken the man had reached a point where either Konohamaru intervened, or the Jinchuuriki would end up killing himself.

Sarutobi Konohamaru had a pretty good idea just who to take Naruto for help, too. The man had been the one of two people in Konoha able to help _him_, after all.

The problem was just how to get the blonde to stop breaking his own body long enough to call his attention.

Konohamaru thought for a couple of minutes, hearing the tired grunts and huffs coming from his onii-chan's direction, and came up with the one obvious answer.

It took a madman to subdue another, so he went for Rock Lee. And if Rock Lee wasn't available, Konohamaru would find a way to get Gaara until the day was over. It was that much of an emergency.

"By gods, you weren't kidding" Lee said with a scared look on his face, as they reached the training grounds to find Naruto having had pulverized the top two thirds of the last boulder and working steadily on the last part while completely covered in blood.

"If we can make him snap out of it Udon and Moegi are ready to do the Reverse Jutsu for distraction until we reach the meeting site" Konohamaru told him. He had made sure both had taken a good look at Naruto so the technique would fool the spies already on the blonde.

A loud, wet snap was heard as Naruto kicked the boulder, and Lee took off, barreling into the Uzumaki and effectively knocking him down with the broken leg trailing at an unnatural angle, jumping up, throwing the blonde over his shoulder and running away up to the village.

As he entered the village proper he ducked into an empty alley and came out from its right amidst a cloud of Rock Lee-shaped clones carrying Naruto clones on their backs.

Naruto had invented the Reverse Harem no Jutsu, but Konohamaru had made it _better_.

Half an hour and many twists and turns later, Lee entered a basement and dropped Naruto over a hastily cleaned table, where his leg was put back in place by an entirely sympathetic Shizune.

A few more people quickly made their entrance and stood around waiting for the blonde to come out of his pain-induced high.

"Naruto nii-san, wake up", Konohamaru pleaded after a few minutes.

"Whe-where am I?" Naruto asked, as he came off from his daze.

"With friends", a familiar voice said, in a tone Naruto had never heard, though. A bowl-cut came into his field of vision, but not Rock Lee's.

Naruto's body went rigid, and he sat up immediately.

"I must have exaggerated with the taijutsu training, hehe… uh, thank you guys, I'm fine now, see", he started.

"Naruto, we're here because we think there's something in your heart you need to let out" Maito Gai said with a kind, worried voice.

"Me?" Naruto gasped in a sudden panic. "No, come on, you know me, no secrets, I'm all right really, just overdid it a little bit, you know how it is, Gai-sensei, heh", the blonde said, and tried to get off the table.

"Can't do, Naruto. We try to avoid meddling in anyone's lives because we see there are reasons for them to choose to refrain from seeking help, but we can't let you destroy yourself, man", Tenten's voice was heard, "trust us, we think we can help you."

"Help? No, no need to help, really", Naruto waved his hands frantically, "there's nothing wrong with me!"

Rock Lee sighed. "Really? You think Kakashi would agree to that, Naruto?" he said, "I know there isn't anything wrong, and I told you that time, but since Kakashi freaked out you just couldn't believe it, could you?"

Naruto jumped up from the table and made for the door, but he was jumped on by everyone in the room before he reached it.

"Lemme go! I'm sorry! I never did anything! I'm _not doing _anything! **I swear**! **_Please_**!" Naruto screamed in sheer terror.

It was all his worst nightmares come true: they had found out, they would hate him even more than they already did, they would hurt him for it, and by hurting him they'd finally get to Sasuke. His… his _wrongness_, his _defect_, had taken Sasuke away from him forever and now it would kill his most special person, because Sasuke would find out and, not being the coward that _he_ was, would come back for him as soon as he did, and be executed.

If there was one thing Naruto was sure of in his whole miserable life, it was that if the Uchiha hadn't been able to allow himself to kill the blonde, he would destroy anyone else who dared lay a finger on him, if he could.

"Please, please… ok, I give up, it's true, I'm not normal, I'm _diseased_, I'm **_wrong_**, but please, I haven't been with anyone, I swear it's all my fault, please don't" the blonde sobbed, "please don't kill him, it's not _his_ fault, just leave him alone, he won't hurt anyone again, I _swear_", he cried out, relaxing his body. "_Please_… just let me go, _let me do it_ _myself,_ so he won't come after you", he said the last quietly between sobs.

He curled into a ball as the mass of bodies distanced away from him in silence, and whimpered when strong hands pulled him up into a tight embrace.

"Oh my gods… Naruto, my little brother, you are _normal_, there is _nothing_ wrong with you… we are here _for_ you, most of us _because_ _we are the same as you_. **_I_** am just like you, and we want to _help_ you, **not** hurt you, and for crying out loud, definitely **_not_** kill you and much less let you do it to yourself over this!" Iruka said in a shocked voice, rocking the traumatized sobbing blonde in his arms.

All of a sudden a loud crack of knuckles was heard.

"Iruka, everyone… would you please take care of him for a bit? I have a score to settle with my old rival" Gai said in an icy tone, and left before anyone could say anything.

Less than five minutes later Gai reached the Hokage's office and moved close to Genma, beckoning Raidou close to them.

"I need the special underground room now. And I mean right _now_" he said in a very low voice.

"No problem" both men said. "May we know who this time?" Genma asked in an angry voice.

"Him", Gai pointed at the Hokage office. The two special ANBU froze. "Who did he hurt?" Raidou asked.

"Naruto", Gai growled.

Both ninja took their masks off and gave him a look of rightful wrath. "Let's get him" they said together.

Kakashi was actually doing some paperwork when the three men entered the office, and started as Genma grabbed his arm, but the teleportation happened so quickly he finished flinching in a large empty room.

"Ok, um, guys? What is going on?" Kakashi asked, taking a couple of steps back. "You know I'm all up for fun and games, but now is really not the time"

"Enough with the jokes, Kakashi" Gai said in a quiet tone. "How many times, by the way, did I tell you NOT to throw that kind of joke at the kids?"

"Dude, come on, they're just jokes, it's all innocent fun" Kakashi said nervously, raising his hands in front of himself in a conciliatory gesture.

"Well, because of your innocent fun, Konohamaru and Lee had to drag a bloody, physically broken and mentally _destroyed_, **_suicidal_** Naruto to my basement, you motherfucking irresponsible piece of **shit**!" Gai screamed at Kakashi.

"I am _SO_ fucking tired of your little homophobic "fun", you have no idea how much I just want to knock out every single fucking tooth in that bigoted mouth of yours" the jounin growled, seething with anger.

"Man, what's with you, Naruto isn't even queer!" Kakashi yelled, but froze at the three dead serious men staring at him, and his eyelids slowly peeled back until both eyes were round as dinner plates. "He _IS_?" he asked in shock.

"Hatake Kakashi, are you fucking**_ BLIND_**? Gods damn it, the kid spent one third of his life thinking about **NOTHING** but the Uchiha boy! You yourself said their bond travels through dimensions! That Sasuke tried to kill Naruto because even though they spent **_half_** of the time since they met each other **_separate_** they were **still** each other's **_strongest _**bond! That the Sage of the Six Paths, may that motherfucker _rot in hell_, said Naruto and Sasuke had a Yin/Yang bond! Do you know **_NOTHING_** about that specific kind of bond, about _soulmates_ living all parts of the relationship spectrum in different incarnations, as brothers, friends and **_lovers _**in our religious studies for undercover work, you stupid, arrogant, bigoted, immature **_boy_**?" Gai hollered at him.

"Yeah, but he said their chakra was first Ashura and Indra's, who were brothers, then Hashirama and Madara's, who were friends, even Naruto and Sasuke referred to each other as **_best friends_**!" Kakashi yelled back, feeling his stomach churn.

"Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito was **_your_** fucking **_best friend_**, did you promise to **_die _**_with__** him**_ so he wouldn't be **_alone_** in the afterlife? Did you nearly _kill__** yourself**_ after the war along with him because you knew he'd be alone if **_you_** weren't with him? Did Obito want to trigger the Infinite Tsukuyomi to be with **_you_**?" Gai growled, taking a step closer to him.

"Of course not! Obito loved **Rin**, **_she_** was his most important person, not -" Kakashi started, and gasped mid-sentence, bringing his hands to his mouth in realization as his knees wobbled, "All that promise to Sakura thing was **_self-denial_**?" he asked in horror. He fell down hard on his butt.

"Kakashi, the boy was hated and shunned from society from **birth**, you think after he was told he could never have **anything** he wanted his whole life and having **this** specific form of prejudice reinforced by his own jounin sensei, his first role model of what adulthood was, he'd be able to be **rational** about his **_feelings_**?" Genma asked him.

"**Sakura-san** only stopped acting like a two year old toddler throwing a tantrum in a toy store over a sold-out toy about Uchiha Sasuke after the war, and she_ never _suffered anything remotely close to what those two poor souls did and still do. How could you be so mindfully heartless to go around joking about this to someone as emotionally _fragile_ as Naruto?" Raidou asked Kakashi as well, shaking his head.

"Look, I'm not a medic, ok? Damn, I don't even _know_ any queers!" Kakashi complained from his spot on the floor. "How could I recognize that _Naruto_ was one?"

Gai huffed in derision. "Oh you don't know _any_ queers, Kakashi? Let me give you a brief list, so don't you even let me get started on Root: Morino Ibiki. Raidou, Genma and me. Kato Shizune. Umino Iruka. Tenten, my pupil. Sarutobi Konohamaru. Sabaku no Gaara. Those are the ones that are actually alive. Wanna know who _else_ you know of that was officially **_registered_** as queer in either clan or ninja records and that is dead now? Hyuuga Neji. Same Hyuuga Neji that died to save a friend he was not in love with, so that friend could save everyone else".

Kakashi was as white as a bed sheet. "Wait, you **_are_** queer? For real?" he asked Gai in disbelief.

"Why, afraid of catching gay cooties? _Now_?" Gai asked.

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me this?" Kakashi asked back.

"Because, Rokudaime-sama, it wasn't any of your business before you became Hokage, and you never bothered to read the S-class specific traits and talents in anybody's file after you did. You don't even choose who's going on missions, Shikamaru does all the strategy work", Genma said.

"You think people like us enjoy prancing around yelling about our difference from others to everyone? We have the same rights to privacy as you do, man. We would like for our way to be seen as normal by everyone else as the straight way, so we could at least participate in regular day to day lunch-hour talks like "hey, what's the best cold remedy you know, my spouse needs some", and some of the legal rights you have because you're expected to reproduce, basically the same property and marital rights; but that is all, we are as mindful of our own lives as you are. And we are afraid of you regular people, because so many of you just _insist_ in acting as if we were _monsters_."Raidou complemented.

"And that is why I always preferred to make childish jokes than mature ones with my genin. So I could be seen as the funny nice sensei that my genin need me to be so they have at least some part of the grueling training regimen I put them through not seem as stressful as it is, while still being someone that can teach them to be decent and respectful to everyone and love themselves as they are", Gai said in a tired voice, "I knew that if they were educated to respect everyone, they wouldn't be scarred for life for being different from the norm if they were different, and wouldn't scar anyone else who was different if they weren't. Naruto and Sasuke not only have behaved with each other as if they were in love half their lives, but the lovers bond is the only soulmate bond they **haven't** built yet. They have been brothers and friends already, the only bond left is the ultimate, the most intimate, the most trusting and most **_important_** bond of them all."

Kakashi often said he knew he was a piece of shit, but right now he realized he didn't begin to know any of the horrid effects his behavior could have on other people.

He knew he had failed Sasuke and beat himself up for that reason to this day.

He knew he had failed Sakura but had felt free of that guilt when he realized how strong and capable she had become under Tsunade's guidance.

He knew he had failed Naruto but had felt at least partly free of that guilt as Jiraya took him under his wing.

However, the guilt had come over him as if it were a Perfect Susanoo.

If he had been mindful that Sasuke loved Naruto that much, he would have never separated their training, because Naruto's presence would have helped overcome Orochimaru's cursed seal.

If he had been mindful that his jokes and fooling around could hurt Naruto into not being able to understand his true feelings for Sasuke, the boy not only would't have spent his whole life trying to copy a flawed model of romantic love based on Sakura's looks, and would have had a much stronger weapon to possibly convince Sasuke to not kill his own brother, to find a different way to solve that conflict that could've probably – and this being Naruto, the numbers were high – cut the events that led to the Fourth Shinobi War at their root.

Oh gods it was **_ALL_** his –

***_SLAP_***

"Snap out of it, you idiot. Damn it, why the hell did I choose such an emotional wreck to be my best friend and rival, I can't even..." Gai muttered at his shocked face, "Get your shit together, you're going to apologize to Naruto _right __**now**_. And you better take that stupid mask off when you talk to him, he deserves to see it on your face when you do" he finished, and he and Raidou teleported out of the room.

Kakashi gave Genma a humble look. "I am never, _ever_, **_ever_** gloating about besting that man in anything, ever again. I am so sorry, Genma, I never knew I could cause such pain." he said, and meant it.

Genma grabbed his shoulder to teleport the both of them out. "Just never forget that you did, so you **never** do it again, _Hokage-sama_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Oh, and btw, yes, the ONLY bond Naruto and Sasuke haven't experienced in canon yet is as lovers. Which is, as everyone knows, the **most important** one because it is the only one where people become partners and **live together in all senses of the term** for the rest of that specific lifespan - which does not happen in other bonds.


	11. Keepsakes

Ok so I know I could have just continued the last chapter but due to time restrictions and me just wanting to separate the two parts of the subject I'm putting this one up as a continuation of the last chapter as well as a preparation to the next one.

Please forgive my lack of style. And thank you all for reading and reviewing these ill-scribbled words.

As always, make yourselves at home, my inbox and comments section are ALWAYS open, fire away and never refrain from criticizing my stuff, it's the input I need to make my stories better for you.

* * *

><p>It would be nice to say that as soon as Iruka pulled Naruto in his arms, the blonde had calmed down and become happy to know he wasn't alone.<p>

It would also not be the truth, and the people currently down at Gai's basement knew exactly how hard it was for someone going through this kind of pain to be able to look up from the hellhole that fear made them dig for themselves.

Still, they were getting worried that Naruto's condition wasn't caused only by his fear of rejection accumulated with ingrained homophobia, because the man just wasn't getting better.

Gai had returned to his home with Kakashi one hour and a half after Naruto had broken down, and he didn't like what he saw.

It didn't help that Kakashi's nerves broke down and he puked next to the door to the basement as soon as he saw the state that Naruto was in.

"Gai, we're gonna need Ino for this; I think he's too far gone to hear us. And he's not healing as he should be." Shizune told him quietly.

Naruto was curled up in a dark corner, growling whenever anyone came near him. Blood was gushing out from the blonde's nose and from the corners of his mouth, as if he was chewing on his tongue in an attempt to drown in his own blood. Both Iruka and Lee had tried prying the blonde's jaw open and get a wad of cloth inside to stop him, but he had thrown them to the other side of the room.

Gai nodded and pushed a shaky Kakashi towards Lee, before leaving his house again.

Inside Naruto's mind, Kurama pleaded with Naruto from inside what the fox perceived as a glass ball.

"Naruto, let me out of here, boy, let me heal you, get a hold of yourself!" the fox screamed in near-panic.

Instead of the usual landscape, Naruto's mind now resembled a ghastly mix between a mirror maze and a funny house.

The fox's first instinct as Naruto's mind had turned into this had been to contact the other beasts, but the Jinchuuriki's mind had blocked their chakra from coming from outside as well as the fox's from coming from within.

All Kurama could do besides screaming was watch with increasing worry as images and sounds came from the mirrors around Naruto's catatonic figure, which stood in the middle of it all.

Along with old acquaintances like the villagers from Naruto's childhood shunning the boy, there were images of people making fun of queers, both real from Naruto's memories and figments of his imagination where his friends hauled all kinds of insults at him, but those weren't the worse.

Some of the mirrors depicted the times Naruto had been put under genjutsu by spies interested in the Uchiha's whereabouts, some sent by Konoha's Council.

Now, the thing about the link between Naruto and Kurama was that Kurama wasn't aware of what happened in Naruto's mind during genjutsu. He noticed the emotional aftermath of those, but Naruto had never told him what happened in them. Now, however, Kurama knew.

And he was _livid_.

Many of the attempts had involved showing Naruto images of Sasuke betraying and hurting him, or his friends, or destroying Konoha, or even ripping little babies limb from limb, as the background voice told Naruto that was what would obviously happen should the last Uchiha be allowed to run free.

In a few, the genjutsu wielder had made Sasuke's image torture the blonde while saying he had lied to Naruto all along about giving up on his plans.

In variations of that theme, Naruto had been tortured and raped by the spies themselves, who demanded to know where the Uchiha was.

In yet others, images of Sasuke being tortured, raped and killed were shown to the blonde as a seductive voice told him that if he turned the last Uchiha to them, he would only be incarcerated, and escape those atrocities.

But the images that stood apart from the others and brought a lump to the fox's throat were the ones where Naruto watched impotently as the Uchiha was dragged down by the Jinchuuriki's friends and killed in front of him.

Because, in that particularly painful fantasy Naruto's terror had created, Sasuke always told the blonde it wasn't his fault; that he couldn't have chosen him instead of everyone else anyway.

All this Kurama watched, and also watched as the man repeated the same denial of the bond he shared with the last Uchiha he had sworn upon at the last Kage summit.

The fox cursed fate for making Naruto particularly weak to genjutsu, cursed the blonde for never opening up with him about what he had gone through, cursed the five elemental nations for choosing to do this to their savior, cursed the Uchiha boy for going crazy and turning on his friend, and definitely cursed every single person that had overlooked Naruto's education and taken advantage of his kind heart to allow for him to be this easily guilt-tripped.

Outside Naruto's mind, the others were filling Kakashi in what had happened.

"I started watching Naruto nii-san last year, when he began withdrawing, and alerted Gai-sensei", Konohamaru had started, "but I couldn't do much without raising suspicion from the spies that keep watching him all the time. I know that he was able to soundproof his apartment because a few kids were playing ball in the street and it went through one of his window panes without a noise, but since he wouldn't let me in I couldn't even try to talk to him."

"Nobody could ever reach that boy when he didn't want to be reached, that's a fact", Iruka said. He had shot eye-daggers at Kakashi through a good part of the conversation.

"And then he made up with Sakura-san and we thought he was finally getting a little better, but then this last week he's gone from bad to worse, as if something horrible had happened that he couldn't talk about", Lee said, "so we decided to intervene if things got uglier. Today Konohamaru caught him breaking his leg on those boulders that were installed for him to train with."

"One thing we all know is that he's been in love with Sasuke since gods know how long, damn, I even made a yaoi edition of the advanced Sexy no Jutsu featuring Sasuke and Sai to see if he'd snap out of the friendzone he locked himself in, but Naruto nii-san was so deep into the closet even though he did react to it he still didn't understand what he felt, apparently", Konohamaru said again.

"Gai better get back with Ino fast, he's losing too much blood" Shizune warned.

It was another grueling five minutes of waiting until Gai came back, pulling a scared Ino behind him.

"Get in there and try to keep his body still long enough for us to be at least able to control the bleeding, if you can't snap him out of it" Shizune asked of her, "we'll take care of your body".

Ino nodded. Gai hadn't said much to her except that Naruto was in shock and they needed her to help, and as soon as she had seen the state her friend was in she had realized its seriousness, so she quickly made the seals and projected her mind into Naruto's.

"Oh my gods" Ino whispered in horror as she opened her eyes inside Naruto's mind, "How in hell am I going to get him out of _this_?" she said, looking around herself in disbelief.

Loud thumping called her attention to the giant glass bulb containing a desperate Kurama.

"Get the Uchiha!" the fox screamed.

"What?" Ino asked, getting closer to the beast's container.

Kurama slapped his forehead, but then snapped his fingers. He extracted a sharp claw and began scribbling with it in the glass.

"Teg eht…", Ino frowned, then realized the fox didn't notice the characters were backwards to her,"Oh, get the Uchiha. Wait, what? How?" she said, shrugging to the fox to get the point across.

'_WINDOW_', Kurama scratched on the glass. Ino immediately began searching, and after a few missed calls, she found it.

Naruto and Sasuke's connection (not that Ino knew that was what it was) looked like exactly like an open window in Naruto's mind. She wasted no time, and began hollering with all the emotion she could put into it.

"UCHIHA SASUKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO NARUTO TO PUT HIM IN THE STATE HE'S IN BUT IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS HERE AND FIX IT I SWEAR I'LL FIND YOU AND SKIN YOU ALIVE IF I HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR CRAZY ASS TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, YOU HEAR ME? _TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH_!"

On the the aforementioned ends of the Earth, in a small island off the continent, to be exact, Uchiha Sasuke missed a tree branch and fell ten feet to the forest floor, passing out before he hit the ground.

He barreled through the window into Ino, and both went tumbling a few feet before stopping.

"Ouch, gods damn it **_HOLY SHIT YOU REALLY CAME_**!" Ino yelled in shock, stumbling over her own extremely long hair as she tried to get up.

Sasuke got up, shook his head and looked around, freezing on the spot as he realized where he was, and what he was looking at.

"Get out" he told Ino, without sparing her a look, as he ran to Naruto's still figure.

"Hey! You're not the boss of me, ya know!" she yelled at him.

"Get the fuck out or I will _throw_ you out, your choice" the Uchiha growled. Ino gaped at him and turned to Kurama, only to see the fox scribbling "_DO IT_" in the glass.

So she did.

She blinked for a few moments in her own body.

"Could have given me a few minutes more, he's still bleeding" Shizune complained.

"Sasuke's in there, Kurama told me to call him through this window in Naruto's mind and then all of a sudden Sasuke barreled through it and now he's there with Naruto and Kurama is trapped in a glass bulb and oh my gods the_ things_ I saw in there, my _poor_ friend" Ino said in one shocked breath, and began sobbing. "Oh gods Shizune he was tortured through genjutsu to tell people where Sasuke is so many times and they were playing all together and he was just there in a catatonic state going through it all again at the _same time_, all the genjutsu tortures and _all_ the memories he has of being rejected and mistreated and _oh gods_ he's doing it _to himself_"

Shizune gave Kakashi a questioning look.

Back inside Naruto's mind, Sasuke assessed the blonde's vacant eyes and moved over to where the fox was imprisoned. He activated his eyes and popped the glass bulb with one finger.

"Talk" he said to the fox in a demanding tone.

"No time, he's bleeding to death", Kurama said, and the Uchiha went white. "I have to get all the chakra I can into healing him before he does, the medic didn't have time to close all the veins and arteries the baka chewed open in his mouth. Make him snap out of it."

Sasuke ran back and started shaking the catatonic blonde.

"Usuratonkachi don't you fucking die on me now, you motherfucker, you told me to wait for you in my dream, Amaterasu no kamisama said you would come for me, don't you fucking **_DARE_** die, you piece of shit", he said breathlessly as he slapped the unresponsive man in the face.

Now that he was in his mind, Sasuke didn't have to actually look at the scenes playing around him to know what had happened. Their bond made him aware of everything the usuratonkachi had gone through, was feeling and was doing to himself, and it terrified the man to no end.

"It's no use", Naruto said in a small, hollow voice, "they know everything, you know. I have to die, or they'll find you."

"What the hell are you talking about usuratonkachi, snap out of it, come on, see?" Sasuke pointed to each of his eyes.

"Sharingan, Rinnegan, haven't used this shit for over a year but I turned them on just for you, now get yourself together, Uzumaki!" the Uchiha commanded in a nervous voice. "You can't just up and kill yourself on me, dead last, I'm the only one allowed to kill you!"

Naruto focused sleepy-looking eyes at him.

"I love you back, you know", he muttered in the same weak, hollow tone, "I really do. I realized while I was under your genjutsu that I felt for you what Hinata felt for me."

Sasuke froze.

"I knew it was wrong for me to love you like that, that this type of bond was too dangerous to be found out, and that I would never get to be with you again" Naruto continued, "but I couldn't get rid of it. I even tried ripping my markings out, but the skin grew back on with them…"

"I was so careful… I did what everyone expected of me, ya know? But they found out anyway, and I just can't… promise me you won't hurt them, please?" Naruto whispered. "Promise…" he breathed, and fell forwards into Sasuke's arms .

"**_Kyubbi_**! What the fuck are you doing that he's not fully healed yet, you stupid _useless_ **_fleabag_**!" Sasuke yelled.

"I'm _trying_, damn it! You have to get through to him, he's put up barriers around his chakra gates, I can't make my chakra circulate properly!" the fox shout back. "You're his _soulmate_, make him drop them! I don't care what you do but _DO__** SOMETHING**_!"

Sasuke's training at the island finally kicked through his panic, and he took a long breath, before plopping to the ground with the usuratonkachi still in his arms.

'Think, think, think, stupid Uchiha, where have you seen this kind of thing before?', Sasuke asked himself, absentmindedly stroking Naruto's hair.

His face lit up. Naruto was an idiot. All the gods Sasuke had communed with were also idiots. _Logically_*, what worked on gods would work on Naruto.

Sasuke lay down and maneuvered the usuratonkachi so their metaphorical foreheads touched, and began his meditation procedure to clear up his own mind.

After a little while, he felt their minds synchronizing, and he slowly began to overtake control of Naruto's body.

Outside Naruto's mind, Naruto's hand slowly came up and touched his whisker marks. Every single person present held their breath.

Sasuke's attention moved to Naruto's chakra gates. One by one, he lifted the blockages, keeping one metaphorical eye on the blond's slumbering consciousness as he tampered with his body.

After a few grueling minutes of stealthy work Sasuke felt Kurama's chakra start working on Naruto's body and he retreated back into Naruto's mind chamber, opening his eyes and meeting open blue orbs that were watching him with a hurt look.

The ghastly mirrors were gone, now, thankfully.

"Why?" Naruto whispered, "why can't you let me go, they'll find you, you stupid bum…"

"Because you're mine, usuratonkachi, and if I couldn't make myself kill you I am not letting anyone else take you away from me, not even you" Sasuke answered earnestly, "and don't you ever do anything like this again, or else when that Yamanaka girl calls me I will come in person and haul your stupid ass away from this stupid place for good."

"I-Ino?" Naruto asked breathlessly.

Sasuke nodded. "I was going back home from getting medicine for Taro-sama when her shrill screeches pulled me here through our chakra connection, so stop bitching about losing your bonds, usuratonkachi. Not everyone loves you, and sure as hell nobody loves you as much as I do, but you still have more real friends than everyone I know. Real friends that accept you no matter what, like the ones I have now", he finished.

The most beautiful smile Sasuke ever saw lit up Naruto's face. "You have other friends? Really? I'm so happy, teme!" the blonde said, hugging him and snuggling into his chest, not caring for the scratching from the rough cloth on his face, "You have no idea how happy it makes me that you have more friends now."

"Well, I lost everything that was dear to me, even your socks, so there was no other way than upwards for me to go, really", Sasuke said, and Naruto went rigid in his arms.

"You sneaky bitch, you really _did_ steal my socks, didn't you? I thought Sakura-chan was pulling my leg with that story! And you _kept_ them? They were my _ONLY_ pair ever or since!" the blond complained loudly, raising furious eyes at him, "Where the hell are my socks, teme? I want them _back_!" he demanded with a half scowl-half pout in his face.

Sasuke laughed in utter relief at seeing the blonde begin to act more like himself. "Sorry, usuratonkachi, I think they burned to cinders along with the rest of my shimenawa" he chuckled. "I took them with me when I went to Orochimaru, then undid the knitting, dyed the wool purple and wove them in it", he explained. Oh, how Kabuto had yelled after his missing crystal violet**…

Naruto made a funny face, and then fell back on his back, laughing at the irony.

"Thanks for telling me, I found your shimenawa in the riverbank after the fight", the blonde said, and Sasuke's eyes went wide.

"You have it?" the Uchiha asked.

"Yup, hid it in my pants and kept it with me ever since, I sleep holding on to it every night" Naruto said with a sad smile, "couldn't imagine why you held on to it after killing Orochimaru, but if it was important to you it was for me too. Now I know, eh?"

"Better take good care of it, then, 'cause I want that back", Sasuke demanded.

"What? That thing was made with _MY _socks; they were mine before you even dreamt of having that thing, you bastard!" Naruto complained.

"Oh right, so what are you going to do, knit them back together and wear them? No way those socks will fit on your big-ass feet now, deadlast, so take care of my stuff and don't you forget to bring them when you come for me", Sasuke said as he gave Naruto a squint.

"Ne, Sasuke?" Naruto asked him quietly, "Is this another dream? Sakura-chan said my markings were changing because our bond might be breaking away" Naruto continued, and raised his right arm, pulling back his tee-shirt to better show the marks. His reflection in his own mind didn't use the bandages, at least, because he felt that was his only really safe place, the only one where he was allowed to be completely honest.

Sasuke raised his left hand and touched it. "Why do they come all the way up to your shoulder?" he asked quietly, as he touched the marks lightly, wondering at the tiny suns next to the crescent moons.

"I don't know, yours don't?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke pulled his long sleeve back, showing that his own swirls only went until halfway up over his elbow. Sasuke gasped.

"Wait, mine are creeping up too, they were down to halfway up my upper arm a few weeks ago", Sasuke said, and looked closer, "and there weren't moons in it."

"How did you spend weeks without seeing your marks, don't you bathe every day?" Naruto asked, and scrunched his nose.

"It's the middle of the fucking winter, sue me for not wanting to catch pneumonia in an island with no electricity and no onsen" Sasuke answered in a cold voice, but Naruto grabbed his hand before he could get away from him.

"I'm sorry. I forgot how bad things were where you are", he apologized, and Sasuke grunted noncommittally.

"It's not all bad, at least there are no _fangirls_" Sasuke said the last word through his teeth. Fangirls had always been the bane of his existence, and the fact the island females considered money a much more attractive asset than looks was a blessing to the Uchiha, seeing that he was as poor as a church mouse.

"And no, Naruto, this isn't a dream. I at least know I'm not dreaming, I've been here before, remember? Our bond as as strong as it ever was, probably even stronger because I was actually pulled in here this time. By the way, tell the Yamanaka girl to sell her damn hair already, she kept stumbling on it, it was that long. No respectable kunoichi would use her hair like that, it's totally unpractical in the field", Sasuke commented.

"Ino sell her hair? What are you talking about, she's grown it out since the war, it's her pride and joy!" the blonde said.

"Waste of perfectly good money that could be used on better things, then. Haruka-san sold hers to pay for the medicine and supplies. Oh, and she's Uzumaki, too. Apparently you have relatives all over the place, and so do I, though I hope like hell none have the Sharingan" Sasuke commented the last fleetingly.

"_Really_? It's not just me and Karin?" Naruto sat up, and his face lit up again. "There are other **_UCHIHA_**? Holy shit Sasuke, you're not alone anymore!" he tackled the apprentice shugenja in a hug.

Sasuke huffed, and pulled Naruto's face in front of his. "You goit, I'll never be alone as long as I have _you_. And I always will be if _you_'re not here, nobody else matters as much", he said.

"But Sasuke, they're your family, your clan, you wanted to restore it", the Jinchuuriki said in confusion.

"Che, usuratonkachi, if I never see another Sharingan for as long as I live I will die a happy man", Sasuke said, shaking his head, "This damned eye was good for nothing but to bring death and suffering to my people. Leave them alone, in peace, wherever they are, and let the Uchiha bloodline die, that's what I'm aiming for my clan."

The Uchiha felt the last of his chakra beginning to pull him back, and held Naruto's head close to his again.

"Give me your **_word_** you'll bring me my shimenawa when you come for me. And _**promise**_ me you'll never let anyone or anything hurt you like this ever again, not even you. I've lived for this long because I know you'll figure a way for us out of this mess; don't disappoint me, O number one unpredictable ninja. Or else I'll come drag your ass away and so help me if you open your yapper to complain, I'll kick your ass all the way across the continent. **_Got it_**?" he said, and held Naruto's gaze until the blonde nodded.

"I give you my word", Naruto sighed, and Sasuke kissed his lips softly, his chakra presence leaving Naruto's mind in a hazy trail of purple mist.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

* And here you know why Sasuke was acknowledged as a genius even though his IQ scores didn't come close to Sakura's (you will find confirmation of this in the Chuunin written exams chapter of the manga, Sakura aced it without even considering cheating, while Sasuke realized even though he didn't even understand the questions, let alone know the answers, he could cheat as much as he wanted as long as he wasn't caught doing it – please notice that Shikamaru's intellect is so advanced he didn't even move the pencil from his table because not only he knew the purpose of the test before everyone else but he also knew Ino would freak out and give him and Chouji the answers without him even asking, so why bother doing anything…).

**** Crystal violet** or **gentian violet** (also known as _methyl violet 10B_, _hexamethyl pararosaniline chloride_, or _pyoctanin(e)_) is a triarylmethane dye. The dye is used as a histological stain and in Gram's method of classifying bacteria. Crystal violet has antibacterial, antifungal, and anthelmintic properties and was formerly important as a topical antiseptic. It also stains like nobody's business.


	12. Blood Ties

A/N: Yeah so lemme post this before the chap 698 joke gets old. It's a short one, fic is reaching its middle point right about now.

Edit: Word ate a couple paragraphs of this chapter dealing with Ino and Choji's break up, fixed it. Ty for spotting duchessliz!

Thank you everyone who are reading it and commenting on it, you're all my sweet little munchkins, and thank you Kishimoto - however, you BETTER not botch the movie, bitch, don't care what you're gonna do with it but it better be up to the manga's standards - for giving us 698 and all this beautiful, heart-wrenching homo love.

And now, for something completely different, and dedicated to Kurama - may he rest in peace, poor thing.

* * *

><p>Sasuke opened his eyes to see the world upside down. It took him a few seconds to realize <em>he<em> was the one upside down, hanging over Haruka's shoulder, but as soon as he did he sighed in relief. Gods only knew how long he had been out; if the miko's wife had waited for him to wake up they would take twice as long to go back to the village.

"Morning, sunshine!" Haruka greeted, and jumped from a fearsome height down to the ground, letting him off her shoulder and rotating it afterwards.

They were right at the shrine's backyard.

"How long have I been out?" Sasuke asked with wide eyes.

"A couple of hours", Haruka said, and sat on the porch to take off her sandals.

"I'm sorry", Sasuke said reflexively, and Haruka waved her hand at him.

"Don't be, as long as you're ok, it's no problem." She then picked the backpacks and went inside, Sasuke following after taking off his own sandals.

Half an hour later Sasuke called the miko aside, and showed her his left arm, explaining what had triggered the marks, his connection with Naruto and that the marks were spreading.

"Oh, that's your life-energy harmonizing with his, it's nothing serious", Mitiro said, "all soulmates want to go through that, it's the same thing that happens in a blood pact at their wedding ceremony."

Sasuke frowned, and the miko showed a long scar in her right palm.

"Blood pacts are part of the wedding ceremony where the couple receives and gives some blood to each other. Most of it is symbolism, but it does help energy harmonics, just like sex does. Over time, the energy of the two people flows between them as if on one person, so when one dies, the other doesn't have to stay behind for long" Mitiro explained, and smirked when Sasuke looked surprised, "It's actually damn useful, you know, especially for people who intend to live long. Amaterasu no kamisama tends to push their miko until they're so old they're begging to die, and then Haruka and I did the blood pact to be sure I won't be alone if she goes, and vice-versa", she finished.

Sasuke looked at his arm in wonder. Well, better than doing some crazy-ass blood pact, with the way he and Naruto fought they'd probably have blown each other's arms to smithereens if they ever did something like that.

Iruka jumped towards Naruto as soon as the blue eyes opened, and hugged him.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto mumbled, and finally took in the scene around him.

Gai had decided that, this being Naruto, it'd be better to deal with the friends who didn't know about the blonde's issues before he woke up, to avoid him withdrawing into himself again.

Since Naruto had been out for a good couple of hours, a bunch of people were gathered in Gai's basement: besides the ones present before, there were the remainder of the Rookie 9, Sakura, Tsunade, Udon and Moegi.

Naruto's head whipped and he did a double-take at the last two, who were both sitting on Konohamaru's knees. Moegi was calmly talking to a very blushed Sakura, while Udon and Konohamaru were-

"Are you fucking _kissing_ Udon? My gods I'mma gonna go blind" Naruto yelped, and both boys flipped him the finger, as Moegi cackled at his shocked expression.

"You're one to talk, at least they're not making out inside each other's brains", Ino snickered, relieved to see Naruto recovered, "Sasuke just about kicked me out of your mind, so you'll have to tell me EVERYTHING" she said, wiggling her eyebrows, "beginning with why in hell was he dressed like that."

Naruto went serious. "You guys… you really accept me the way I am?" he asked.

Shikamaru scoffed. "Damn, I _wish_ I were versatile like you, I would've married Choji when I was five years old, would've been a lot less troublesome than hooking up with Temari, damn woman insists I keep traveling to meet her…" he said, and Choji smacked the genius upside the head, snorting.

"Don't you talk about my sister-in-law like that, lazy ass, she says she'll introduce me to their cousin Hiroko" Choji said, giving a smug smile, "And she likes big guys!"

"Weren't you and Ino...?" Naruto asked.

Ino and Choji looked sheepishly at him.

"Naruto... we broke up a couple of months already", Ino said.

"Yeah, you've been cooped up for so long, we couldn't even tell you." Choji completed.

"Besides, it's not like you're alone, you know… I mean, fine, I love Tsunade like my mother, it's not as if I'd date _her_, but it's not like I've not gotten married for no reason" Shizune said, giving Tsunade a side look. "How about all of us who are queer actually raise our hands to save on speeches?" she said, and raised her own.

Naruto's eyes went round, and he looked around. Shizune, Konohamaru, Udon, Gai, Tenten… he felt a movement on his side and saw Iruka's hand (which had been holding him) go up.

He frowned. "You? Bu-but you fell for the Sexy Jutsu!" he accused.

Iruka snickered and pointed to Konohamaru, who was now kissing Moegi while Udon played with her pigtails.

"Best of both worlds, Naruto" the Academy teacher said with a shit-eating grin.

"So for crying out loud, get that fear out of your head, ok?" Sakura said, and made way for Kakashi to pass. The former copy-nin kneeled in front of Naruto and took his hand in his, before pulling down his mask and looking at him earnestly.

"I am _so_ sorry, Naruto. I hurt you like hell and I never even knew what I was doing." Kakashi said earnestly.

Naruto gaped. 'Holy shit Kakashi took his mask off to apologize to me face to face' he thought, and that brought the realization to his mind.

He was truly, for the first time in over a year, surrounded by friends he could trust with anything.

A few minutes later, sitting on the couch and surrounded by his friends, Naruto was asked about Sasuke.

"Sasuke is different. He's actually happy where he is, and he's got other friends, real friends he cares about. He's got a hoshi-sensei and a miko-sensei, and yeah, he does look like he fell off a garbage truck, but that's because he's got like next to nothing, they are that poor. Damn, he told me to tell you you should sell your hair already because it was too big, he honestly thought you were growing it to sell it, because his friend Haruka-san – oh and by the way she's Uzumaki like me and Karin, apparently there's a lot of us around-" he quickly omitted the fact that according to Sasuke there were also Uchiha spread around the continent, "sold her hair to buy medicine."

Ino pulled a lock of hair nervously, and everyone went quiet. No one had ever seen such appalling living conditions before.

"They don't even have onsen where he is, or electricity, or nothing, and they have to be super careful with the water because of cholera, I never even knew what that was but then I looked at a scroll in the library, it's seriously mean stuff", Naruto said, and all the medic nin present nodded. Cholera was serious business, especially in poor villages.

"But even with all that, it's the first time I can say I've seen him this happy", Naruto said with a smile, "and I don't know what he did, I was… I was really, really afraid, and I just didn't want to be alive if it meant he'd be found out… but then he did something and it was like when somebody wrenches your hand open, just on my chakra channels, and Kurama could heal me." He finished.

Tsunade kneeled in front of him. "Brat, you know we can't promise you you'll get to see him again, it's not just our decision, but… if you ever do, and you get together, we'll support you", Naruto looked around and saw the nods, "we do know it was him who saved you, and for that, and what with not having done anything all this time… we won't go against what you feel for him."

Naruto gave a true, hopeful smile. It wasn't a lot, just a handful of his friends, but for someone who had no hope of having his claim of love supported, it was a good start.

* * *

><p>AN: Yup, blood pacts in marriage are also ancient custom, and the meaning behind it is pretty much exactly as it's explained here. Gypsies still do it to this day.


	13. Homeless

Before we go on, I must tell you the reason for the direction this fic is turning to.

The thing is, even though I do try to follow canon as best as I can, because I have read the manga I have to take a different approach from what I believe Kishimoto will use now; one I believe he would take were he interested in making a well-written, logical conclusion to the manga (which considering the last news about the movie is not what he's aiming for, unfortunately).

Basically, I can't ignore how politics in canonverse work: having analyzed the three ninja wars, and assuming that after the Fourth War the five Kage would seriously try their best to defuse any situation that would trigger further conflict, and yet taking into consideration the tactics used in the manga to prevent loss of control over kekkei genkai (which is a big political deal in the canonverse), I came up with a scenario that though might be seen as polemic by many, is still canon-compliant, and quite possible at that.

I would LOVE to know what you guys think about it.

And now, for something completely as different as it can get:

* * *

><p>The next four days went by quietly for Sasuke and Naruto. While the Uchiha fumbled to fill in Taro's duties, as his master recovered from the flu, Naruto was asked to help Shikamaru at the Hokage tower, for Kakashi's presence was required for a Kage summit – since the war, all five Kage held meetings often – and the Rokudaime felt that Shikamaru's presence would help with Naruto's mood.<p>

On the fifth day, Sasuke picked a recovered Taro up at the shrine, and the two men made their way back to the yamabushi's hut.

Taro kept giving him silent side-looks throughout the trip back, and by lunchtime Sasuke was ready to knock his master's head with a stick.

"Will you tell me what's on your mind?" Sasuke asked uncomfortably, as he gave Taro a bowl of mashed Taro and goat jerky.

"Well. If you sincerely want to know…" Taro began, "I was thinking about your situation with your friend."

Sasuke lowered his head. "There is no situation with my friend, sensei. He needed me; I helped him, now he's fine. It's all I can ask for."

"You don't really believe he'll come for you", Taro said quietly, in an understanding tone.

Sasuke stood still for a while, and then slowly shook his head.

"It's… too complicated. He's spent his whole life fighting so much to be recognized, to be loved by everyone, and now he has that. His dream has always been to be accepted, to be cherished, to find his place in society. And now he has it. I can't… I can't hope that what we feel for each other is more important than that", he said in a small voice. "At the same time, I can't just break his heart and tell him to forget me. It hurt me so much every time I felt I had to hurt him, to drive him away... when we last fought, I thought that by showing him how I really felt he'd finally step away, that his love for me wasn't as strong as what I felt for him, that it wasn't the same love. That he'd understand and just… leave me be and find himself some girl to raise a family of his own, to move on with his life, fulfill his dreams and be happy."

"How about your happiness then?" Taro asked in a casual tone, while surreptitiously studying Sasuke's face.

Sasuke shrugged. "My happiness… my happiness wasn't important", he sighed, "but then I was here, and you took me under your wing, and slowly, even though he's far away living his life, and I'm here… I don't have him, but slowly, over time… I began feeling something I haven't ever felt, since I left him. I feel that, now… I have a home", Sasuke said, his voice hitching at the last word.

Taro smiled at him, and patted him on the back. "You know, you do, now. It's the magic of this island. This place is hard as hell to live on, it's the closest to a gods-forsaken place I've ever been, but… maybe because it is so hard to make a living here, the island brings people together."

Sasuke nodded, and quietly wiped his face with the back of a hand. "At the end of the fourth war, I wanted to be like this island, you know. To be the hatred that united everyone", he said. "I couldn't, though. I just wasn't strong enough to kill him, and he wouldn't let me shoulder all that hatred" he said.

Taro laughed out loud. "Oh, boy. Nanigashi, we don't hate this island, we love it. It's hard living here, but we're safe. It shields us from all the things that hurt us at the continent, and it does that because it's the only place that is completely unaffiliated with any of the nations. It is our haven, the one place where no one asks your name, where you can start your life anew without being judged. For someone to become this island, they would have to break away from all affiliations, and embrace everyone equally, without distinction. They would need to embody hope, and acceptance, and security, not hatred. To be as this island is, one must be the beacon that illuminates all, without distinction."

Sasuke looked at his master in wonder. "Like we do with the people who seek us for help", he said, and Taro nodded at him.

"Now you know why we're here, Mitiro-sama, Orihime-sama, Daisuke-sama, Hisashi-kun, me, and now, you", the yamabushi said, and winked. "We embody the island's receptive nature, and help the kami to keep this place as the safe haven it is. And thus, we become family to each other."

Sasuke was stunned by the realization his master's words brought him. By the strangest, most improbable twist of fate, he, Sasuke, was now building, in a much smaller scale, but doing it nonetheless, the peace that Naruto had sworn to achieve.

* * *

><p>Across the continent, Naruto was also stunned, but for a completely different reason.<p>

"The Kage believe it is the most logical way to achieve balance", Kakashi said, giving him a meek look.

Naruto looked at Gaara with a betrayed expression.

"Naruto… please try to understand that it's the best for everyone", the Kazekage said. "In order to maintain peace there must be a balance of power, and as long as you're affiliated to Konoha, that balance cannot be achieved."

"But… but… Konoha isn't interested in taking over the other nations, all we want is peace! It's not like that at all!" Naruto interjected.

"Naruto, as long as you represent the Fire Country, you represent its values. Other countries have their cultures and their own values, and if they squabble with each other, your interference would be seen as imposing the Fire Country's culture, values and military power over them. Right now, the smaller nations are already afraid of trading with us because they feel they cannot defend their interests, for if they express their discontent, we can just run over them", Kakashi pondered. "Trust me, I was against this decision at first, but I know what your wishes are, to uphold peace and make it so that everyone can be happy and live together. And there really is no way to do that if you stay, because right now you are too powerful. You alone can wipe out any single country, including ours."

Naruto sat down, hard. "But Konoha is my home… all my friends are here, all my life", he said with a desperate look, "Gaara, please help me out here, I can't lose everything!"

Gaara moved and put a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto, as long as you're affiliated with Konoha, you're bound to obey the Fire Country Daimyo's wishes, just as the Hokage must. It's the same with me, I'm the Kazekage, and my job is to protect my Daimyo's interests. If he decides that Sand must go to war against whomever, I have to obey. If you break away, though, you will become an independent agent, and you'll be able to settle matters between nations without drawing hatred to any particular country, and without putting your friends in danger. Right now, every friend of yours here can be a target to be used against you."

"Can… can I think about it for a while?" Naruto asked in a small voice.

"Of course, nothing is settled in stone yet. And no one would force anything on you", Kakashi said.

Naruto nodded and left, under Gaara and Kakashi's worried gazes.

Ten minutes later, Naruto sat on top of the Fourth's head on the Hokage monument, and hugged his knees, watching the sunset.

'Sasuke was right in the end, if for the wrong reasons' he thought, remembering what the Uchiha had said before their fight. He was the Jinchuuriki of the nine beasts, and though the Kage respected him, though the ninja that had fought the war respected him, they would never feel safe while Naruto belonged to one country. Everyone would turn to him to destroy their common enemies, but eventually, he would make the Fire Country the common enemy for all other nations, just for existing. His power alone, not to mention the other powerful ninja that Konoha had at its disposal, spread enough fear throughout the continent to tip the balance and bring the other nations against him.

In the end, his very existence would make him the villain that Sasuke had aspired to be, unless he broke away from everyone and everything. All the years striving to become powerful enough to protect everyone, to be recognized and accepted, to be an active and beloved part of Konoha, had ended up biting him in the ass; for now, when he was finally powerful enough to protect all of his friends, that same power made him a liability for them.

The five Kage had offered him a fortress where he could live apart from all nations, at the Valley of the End. The Valley would be declared neutral land, and the fortress would be set as the meeting place for Naruto to diplomatically settle quarrels between countries, along with ambassadors from all the largest nations.

And to avoid having his eventual progeny being used as weapons by any particular country, he would have to sign a contract giving up on his reproductive rights and undergo a preventive vasectomy.

When he had asked Kakashi the reasoning behind that particular clause, the Rokudaime had stated that even though he hadn't reciprocated Hinata's interest, the idea of combining the Byakugan with Naruto's immense powers and the chakra from the nine beasts simply terrified the other nations.

The Kage considered that after all the problems that the Sharingan and the Rinnegan had caused, the Byakugan must be even more protected from uncontrolled breeding, lest it lead to the same devastating consequences that befell the other doujutsu.

As for Naruto's genes, the effect of the Sage's tampering to provide his genes with more power in potential progeny was completely unknown, and so viewed as dangerous. Considering that Sasuke was still officially "at large", the consensus was that if it would be better to deal with the Uchiha's potential progeny alone, without bringing in more potentially tainted and uncontrollable ninja to future scenarios.

To Naruto himself, it was all meaningless. Sasuke was the only person that interested Naruto enough to become life-mates with, and since neither of them were female, that meant he wouldn't ever need to worry about progeny.

What worried Naruto the most was the fact that he'd be isolated from his friends, his home, his dreams. He would never become Hokage, never be trusted enough to do as he pleased, live where he wanted.

Naruto lay on his back and rubbed his face. The night wasn't completely cold anymore, which signaled an early end to the winter, and up in the cloudless sky the full moon shone upon him.

He looked at the satellite with tired eyes, wondering what Sasuke would say if he knew of his current predicament.

'Probably laugh at my face, damn bastard', Naruto thought as he fell asleep.


	14. Bittersweet Symphony

**A/N**: Ok, so this chapter has a little lime in honor of the ending of the manga (dunno if it's coming out today or tomorrow, but heh, what the hell).

Don't worry, from next chapter on things will start to get much better in this fic, I am not so mean as to not have a happy ending, especially not with all the het-pairing bullshit possibly going on in canon.

And now, for something completely different (with lasers):

* * *

><p>Sasuke sneezed, and reached for his thin blanket.<p>

He pulled on it, wondering where the hell the thing got stuck under, considering Taro-sama slept on the other side of their small brazier, and his eyes flew open when he felt his nude skin scratch on the rough surface.

'Oh, great, I'm dreaming again', he thought, and scowled at the usuratonkachi lying next to him. Gods knew why he had to be naked whenever he dreamt of Naruto, probably his fledgling hormones trying to convey some half-assed message, but here he was again, except there was no soft bed under him, just a rough rocky surface and a shivering, curled up blonde beside him.

Sasuke sneezed again. Fuck that, if he was going to be cold then he at least would make Naruto share his clothes with him. With that in mind, he got up and kicked the blonde's ass.

"Owwwww…" Naruto mumbled, rubbing his butt and looking up at him. "Why are you so mean to me? I was sleeping, damn it", he complained, and snuggled against his arm.

"I'm the one who's sleeping, usuratonkachi, now get your ass up before I freeze to death. Damn stupid naked winter dreams…" Sasuke growled, and kicked him again.

Naruto jumped at the sound of his pet name. "Sasuke?" He turned towards the Uchiha. "Sasuke, you bastard! Wait, what the hell are you doing up here like this, you're gonna catch your death up here!"

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm dreaming, you cretin. I'm naked outside, in the middle of the night with you, what the hell else could it be?" he looked around, "On your father's head no less… shit, I must have mixed up the mushrooms last night before dinner…", he mumbled, as Naruto took off his jacket and covered him.

"Dream or not, you're turning blue, hang on to me" Naruto said, picking him up bridal-style.

In a flash, they were in Naruto's apartment, and the Jinchuuriki was tucking Sasuke under the covers of his narrow bed.

"Ok I'm… I'm gonna get you some tea" Naruto started, but Sasuke gripped his wrist before he could move off the bed.

"Don't. Just… stay here", the Uchiha asked with pleading eyes. For all Sasuke knew, those dreams were all he'd ever see of Naruto again, so pride be damned, no way was he going to waste precious dream-time with the usuratonkachi drinking damn _tea_.

Naruto had one thousand reasons to stand up and go make the tea, the main one being that his brain was yelling for a time out after yesterday's talk with Kakashi and Gaara and waking up into another dream with Sasuke, but all of those flew out the window as soon as he saw Sasuke's moonlit face. He sighed and reached for his sandals instead, and Sasuke let his wrist go.

Sasuke watched as Naruto took off his sandals and his clothing, and made way for him in the bed, noticing the tired look on his face. He reached for the faint worry line between his eyebrows with a slim finger.

Naruto caught his finger in his grip and kissed its tip. "Tell me what you've been doing", he asked.

Sasuke sighed. "After we met in your mind I spent the week doing Taro-sama's rounds. Mostly ordinary stuff, teaching people how to not dig wells beside their outhouse, settling minor disputes, helping find lost goats", he scowled when Naruto sniggered at that, "don't laugh, usuratonkachi, goats are valuable. Then yesterday I picked him up, and he gave me a lesson on the way home", he continued.

"Really? What was it?" Naruto asked, running a finger down the Uchiha's cheek and watching his peaceful expression. It always amazed him that, in these dreams, Sasuke looked so different than his actual memories of him, so relaxed, so unguarded.

"He made me realize why my plan was screwed up in the first place", Sasuke said, "we were talking about how hard it is to live in the island, and how the island brings people together… and I told him I wished to be like the island at the end of the war, to be the hatred that brought everyone together at last."

Naruto gave him a compassionate look.

"But then when I said that", Sasuke continued, "he said that it wasn't the hardship that made peace, but the fact that it's a safe haven, away from the continent politics, where anyone can just start a new life and be accepted for what they are, not who they are. He said that to be as the island is, one must be the beacon that illuminates all, without distinction. Pretty much what we all do there, Taro-sama, Mitiro-sama, and the other clerics. We help just for the sake of helping, and the people ask us for help because they know we're not there to judge anyone, or serve one above the other."

"You seem to be happy there", Naruto said, and turned on his back so Sasuke couldn't see the moisture gathering on his eyes. As hard as Sasuke's life seemed, it looked much more like Naruto's dream than what he was currently living.

Sasuke moved to lay his head on Naruto's chest. "I… I am, believe it or not", he sighed, "even though we don't all live together or see each other all the time, I mean, except for Taro-sama and even then the man likes his travelling, not that I'm complaining... but yeah, even so, it's the closest thing to a family I've had since team seven. Probably closer, because none of the women keep bothering me for dates", he said, snickering. "Honestly, all I miss is you", he completed.

Naruto sighed, and slipped an arm under Sasuke's waist. "Kakashi wants to send me away", he said, and Sasuke raised his head to look straight in his eyes.

"Actually, all the five Kage agreed. They say I'm too powerful to stay affiliated with the Fire Country, and that they'd rather I live in the Valley of the End, they'd make it neutral grounds", the blonde explained.

Sasuke gave him an understanding look. "Well, you **are** the Jinchuuriki for all nine tailed beasts, **and** the new toad sage, **and** you got all those power-ups from the Sage, **and**"

"Damn it, teme, I know all that. But what about me in all this? I already stayed instead of going after you again; I went through all those genjutsu, all those interrogations, all the peace talks… I can hardly ever go on a S-class mission anymore, last time I asked Kakashi told me all the damn spies around me make more noise than Hadaka Matsuri* celebrations…", Sasuke started laughing openly at the image of naked men dancing and making noise as Naruto tried to pass unnoticed in the forest, "shit, last time I got a D-rank mission to pick green onions on a field the spies got so bored I asked them to help me out and they actually came down and did the work for me!" Naruto complained.

Sasuke tried holding back his laughter, but one look at Naruto's dejected face and he burst into another laughing fit.

"That. Is. Not. Funny", Naruto said between kisses, with which he tried to shut the Uchiha up.

"Mmmhmmm… hahahahahahahaha", Sasuke nodded, laughed more, and took a few deep breaths. "Ok, ok, I'll stop, put the Rasengann away", he said, when Naruto raised his left arm and conjured it, snarling at him.

"I don't know why you're so bothered, though", the Uchiha mused, "I mean, that is what would happen eventually, you can't be as powerful as you are and serve one nation above the others, power imbalance is what started the whole ninja conflict in the beginning."

Naruto scrunched his face for a second before answering, "Yeah, but damn it, they basically want to lock me up in some stupid fortress to deal with boring paperwork and summits and shit all day, ya know? I never wanted that. I just wanted to make everybody happy, and hang out with my friends, and run some fun missions, and eat some ramen in peace…"

"Hn. What about me? Didn't you have a place for me in those grand plans of yours?" Sasuke asked with a straight face.

Naruto gave him a startled look, and then blushed furiously. "Uh, well… I wanted you back so you could be part of it all, helping me and running missions again…"

"But?" Sasuke asked with a smirk.

"Well, eh, after I realized a few things I kinda…" Naruto blushed even darker, noticing the conversation was leading to previously uncharted territory. At least, uncharted nightly dreams territory, he had had plenty experience with this kind of scenario while daydreaming, "started thinking about other things we could do together besides training and running missions and eating ramen." He finished lamely, feeling as if his ears had suddenly caught fire.

"Oh", Sasuke said in a husky tone, and widened his smirk. The Uchiha had been bonked up the head enough times while daydreaming to make those a rare occurrence; considering he had been steadily gaining hormone levels for the last month, was currently having a very vivid dream about being in bed with the man he loved, and had no idea if he'd ever have one of those again, let alone actually see the usuratonkachi in the flesh, he had decided to steer the conversation towards a more productive place; not that he had a lot of knowledge on how to act if said place was reached, but hey, he _was_ dreaming, so things would probably figure themselves out. "What other things?" he asked, and threw a leg over the blonde.

Naruto gulped, wondering how the hell did dream!Sasuke jump from seriously talking to him to this. But then, damn it, he was feeling quite rebellious, what with the Kages' proposition and all. It wasn't as if one wet dream would bring his street cred lower than it already was, considering all he was going through. And Konohamaru had to push those damn yaoi books on him as "educational advice", so it also wasn't as if his poor sex-starved brain hadn't got enough graphic material to make him feel very hot and bothered awake, let alone dreaming about the man he loved stark naked in bed with him.

So, naturally, after a brief battle between instinct and fear, testosterone won and Naruto pulled Sasuke to fully lie on top of him, and captured his mouth in a deep, messy, tongue-fighting, teeth-clashing, open-mouthed kiss.

'Oh gods, please don't let me wake up', Sasuke thought, as he instinctively straddled the blonde underneath him and caressed his whiskered cheeks. He hadn't even noticed what he had felt at the time of their last dream kiss, what with a full-body chidori coming up and messing his poor overloaded nerves, so for all practical purposes this was the horniest Sasuke had ever felt in his brief period of hormonal normalcy.

Naruto wasn't faring much better, as he pushed Sasuke's bangs, which were starting to get into their mouths, away from his face, earning him a smile that took his breath away. He forced himself to take a deep breath to push his heart back down from his throat so he could go back to plundering that delicious mouth.

Sasuke would have been perfectly content with just kissing, if it wasn't for the hardness poking his left inner-thigh**, so he tried wriggling a bit, and let out a loud gasp at the shock of pleasure that followed, making him drop his weight over Naruto.

"Ow, ow, ow" Naruto whimpered, as Sasuke's weight suddenly fell on top of his erection. He braced his left leg on the bed, held on to the man's waist and flipped them around, before rearranging his cock inside his boxers with a relieved huff.

"Take the damn thing off, stupid" Sasuke moaned in his ear, and pulled at the hem for emphasis. Naruto gave an embarrassed chuckle and clumsily tried to pull his boxers off while still on top of Sasuke, making the mattress bounce with the movement and Sasuke wonder if everyone else went through this kind of indignity, or if it was a Naruto-only thing. He resorted to pushing the boxers with his foot the rest of the way, making the blonde stumble and accidentally grind their freed erections together with enough force to make the Uchiha see stars.

"Oh fuck, do that again", Sasuke groaned in a deep voice that made Naruto's heart skip a beat, and grabbed for the blonde's ass to pull him closer, while spreading his legs to better accommodate their burning lengths.

Naruto propped himself up on his elbows and ground against Sasuke, watching with lustful eyes as the man threw his head back, whimpered and moaned wantonly, making the muscles of his neck stand out in sharp relief under the moonlight.

The sounds coming out of the Uchiha were sweet music to Naruto's ears. Never in his daydream fantasies had he felt such complex emotions, happiness, lust, love, awe, longing, anticipation, desperation, swirling together in his heart, and those feelings fueled his need for more tenfold, so he began peppering Sasuke's jaw with kisses, nuzzling his ear and nibbling on it as the man he loved turned his head to the side, then proceeding to kiss and lick down his neck and chest, dizzy with his scent and taste.

Sasuke by this time had gone through at least three different stages of lust, moaning, groaning and whimpering. He was currently at the random thoughts stage, and as the whirlwind of emotions and sensations short-circuited his brain all he could grab hold onto was the perplexity at humanity's ability to wage war when it had **_this_** at its disposal.

"Usuratonkachi", he moaned, "if I ever go crazy again don't waste your time beating me up, I swear this is much more effective."

"Mmmm really?", Naruto asked in a husky voice, and zeroed on Sasuke's right nipple, licking it, then sucking on it as it hardened. Sasuke arched, letting out a curse, and Naruto snickered, before deciding to try it out on his left nipple as well. "Don't worry, I'll keep that in mind", he said, after letting the nipple go with a loud pop.

Sasuke hazily lifted his head at that, and caught Naruto's wicked grin before the blonde continued down his abdomen, nibbled at his navel, licked down his happy trail…

"Na.. Na.." he started, his eyes going wide as saucers, as Naruto came face to, well, dick. The usuratonkachi looked straight back at him. "Ok I swear I only heard about this, so I don't know if it'll work, but I really… really want to try it", Naruto said, and lowered his head, giving Sasuke's cock a long swipe of his tongue.

Sasuke's pleasure-filled groaning almost made Naruto come right there, but he held back with all his considerable will, used his lips to cover his teeth as he had read about, and began taking as much of his most precious person's cock in his mouth as he could.

"Oh gods, Naruto!" the Uchiha groaned as his beloved idiot swallowed his cock to the hilt and made his way up again, sucking the bejesus out of him. The strong suction hurt a bit, but damn did it hurt _good_. Sasuke thought he was going to die right there, completely forgetting it was a dream, that his life wasn't in actual danger, and even his own name. All he could feel was the man he had spent over half his life secretly pining for giving him the wildest sensations of his entire life.

Nothing he had ever felt, no amount of chakra, no thrill of battle, no power ever flowed through his veins burning and made him feel as alive as this. He grabbed Naruto's cropped locks and tried to buck up, but Naruto immediately set his weight over his hips and looked up as he bobbed his head, looking straight at him with a piercing look in his eyes that made him roll his eyes back into his skull and throw his head back, panting, while bending his knees.

Naruto was mesmerized by the effect his ministrations had on him. The moonlight gave Sasuke's sweaty skin a pearly sheen, and his body shivered and writhed under the tanned hands holding him. The same love that made Naruto hurt whenever he thought of Sasuke's pain now fed his heart with immense, ridiculous happiness at seeing him whisper his name through smiling lips, at knowing _he_ was the one giving Sasuke this moment of bliss. It was so beautiful that Naruto honestly could not care less about his own physical pleasure.

But as Sasuke felt the tension coiling deep inside, he was suddenly afraid, afraid of waking up, of leaving this magical dream without looking at Naruto one last time.

"Stop and come kiss me, usuratonkachi, I need to be looking into your eyes", he pleaded, and only when Naruto reached up again to kiss him, he saw that Sasuke was crying.

"Don't", Naruto said with a broken voice, as they moved in tandem near completion and he kissed Sasuke's tears, his own raining on the Uchiha's face. "Please, bastard, don't cry", he pleaded, and Sasuke pulled him into a mind-blowing kiss, as they reached their bittersweet ending.

Each on their respective corner of the world, both men woke up, and cried for a long, long time until they were able to face the new day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

* A **_Hadaka Matsuri_** (裸祭り _"Naked Festival_**"**) is a type of Japanese festival, or _matsuri_, in which participants wear a minimum amount of clothing; usually just a Japanese loincloth (called _fundoshi_), sometimes with a short happi coat, and rarely completely naked. And yes, it's damn noisy; dudes jump, dance and yell at the top of their voices.

** Funny story, in all the fanfics I've read to this date I've never seen anyone take note of the fact that men usually push their dicks to one side of their underwear, and that when they're getting hard the damn things don't automatically pop straight up out of the blue. On the contrary, in real life it's the most common thing for a guy to get their hard-on sideways, even when wearing boxers, and lemme tell you ladies, the kind of small accident depicted in this fic not only happened to me a few times, back when I was single and fooled around with men, but is probably the second most common sex-related injury under ordinary conditions (the first, of course, being teeth scraping the penis head – trust me ladies, most guys feel as much pain with that as we girls feel when nails or teeth scrape our clits, and for those who haven't had that particular issue during sex, I'll tell ya, oh gods, it hurts like a sonofabitch, the memory brings tears to me eyes *shivers*)


	15. Mirror shards and barley cakes

**A/N**:

First of all let me thank everyone for the kind reviews :D Keep them coming, and don't forget to include your critique.

Second, from here on I'm taking a pivotal twist from canon, meaning that I'm partially rejecting the plot from chapters 697 to The Last and substituting my own, not only because no blown up arms, no Naruhina, no Sasusaku, none of the other horrible Westernized bullshit Kishimoto decided to crap on his story, but also because honestly, Kishi's villain character idea sucks like an Electrolux. Kaguya's descendent? Why the hell didn't Black Zetsu go for him then, instead of trying to bring the original back? And Edo-Tensei again? Sorry, but in my opinion using that jutsu again is just too lazy, too cheap for my taste.

However, I AM going to use the appearance design of Kaguya's descendant because it suits my idea like a glove. I also believe that any readers who have Japanese origins or like Japanese culture will find it quite… adequate.

Please sit back and enjoy, and do tell me what you think of my idea.

And now, for something that looks the same but is actually different:

* * *

><p>All clerics know that the gods, although very powerful, are often quite… simple creatures.<p>

They enjoy simple pleasures, like small offerings, music, prayers. And, like all simple creatures, they are suckers for romance.

Their job, per se, is to keep their charges working as they should, so they end up embodying the attributes of said charges.

Amaterasu, the sun goddess, for example, has a cheerful and forceful personality due to her yang nature, but, since one of the sun's attributes is the constancy with which it appears at dawn and sets at night, and the fact that it is actually a hot nuclear inferno, she also behaves in a moderate fashion, coming to the Earth only through her miko, mostly (with one particular exception) at the appropriate ritualistic times, caring for her children but also doing her best not to involve herself in the affairs of mankind.

The moon god, on the other hand… well…

* * *

><p>It was the night after the first moon, when Naruto and Sasuke shared their second dream.<p>

The moonlight shone in a clearing by the Fire Country's Capital City, and suddenly an equine snort was heard. It was a very large white horse, with white bridles and saddle, and riding it was a tall man.

The man had white hair. White skin. White eyes (but with tiny dark pupils, unlike the Hyuuga clan's). White clothing, except for a large silver crescent moon embroidered at the back of his robes, with a small yellow sun embroidered next to it.

He was a beautiful man, and he had had just about enough.

Tsukuyomi would prove he could care for his own even better than Amaterasu did.

* * *

><p>The guards at the Daimyo's palace didn't have a chance. With a twist of his hand, everyone who was still awake dropped in immediate slumber.<p>

Less than fifteen minutes later, the white man left the palace, with a struggling Daimyo screeching for his life tied to his horse.

* * *

><p>Morning came almost as usual in Konoha, except for one single detail that passed over the head of everyone, except the very elderly.<p>

"Ohayo, Ayume-san… where's your dad?"Naruto asked in a tired voice, as he came down from his apartment.

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun… dad went out to buy barley cakes*, he said Tsukuyomi is angry at something so he better appease the moon-god", she snickered, "you know how old superstitious folks are."

Naruto laughed and ate his breakfast before heading out to the training grounds. He noticed, as he passed by the bakery, a large number of old people gathered at the door, yelling for barley cakes.

"Let me in, I need them cakes!" a man yelled.

"Give me a dozen!" was heard from inside the bakery.

"Hurry up, the shrine is far away, I have to leave now!" an old lady barked.

"Yeah, get a move on before it falls right on our heads!" another screamed.

Naruto jumped on the roof to get away from the tumult.

The moon was up in the sky, in proud and full display, despite the daylight.

"Naruto!"

Naruto looked around and saw Shikamaru running through the rooftops in his direction. He waived his arm, and Kakashi's advisor made a come hither motion to him.

They quickly reached the Hokage's office through the window. Naruto felt ill at ease by Shikamaru's obvious hurry, and felt even worse at Kakashi's alarmed face.

"What is it?" he asked.

"We've received a bird from Capital City, Naruto. It apparently concerns you directly", Kakashi said, and showed him the message.

Naruto took the scroll and read it, going pale in the process.

'Your leaders will be returned only when Amaterasu's child seeks my own. Do not interfere, or the end of your world will be the smallest of your troubles.' The scroll ended saying that that message had been found on the Daimyo's bed, held with a shard of mirror**, and that no one had witnessed the kidnapping.

"Is this all there is? Nobody saw who did it at all?"Naruto asked, and Kakashi shook his head.

"Hokage-sama, messages from Sand and Rock have arrived", Genma said, as he entered the office. Kakashi opened the scrolls and frowned.

"The messages are the same", the Rokudaime said, frowning. "That makes three Daimyo's missing, who do we know that could pull something like this off?" he asked.

"Never mind that, who the hell is this Amaterasu's child and why the hell does this whoever they are want them to meet with his kid?" Naruto asked in complete confusion.

Shikamaru sighed. "Amaterasu is the sun goddess, Naruto. Which means, as far as we know, that the person they want to meet their child, whoever that is, is you", he said, pointing at Naruto's right hand.

"Me?" Naruto gasped.

"Yup. Whatever this person wants, it's probably from you, so you better get your stuff ready. Meet us back here in two hours, we'll get a team to go with you." Kakashi sighed, "Not that I know where you'll be going, but the way this is turning out to be, I'll better get you moving before the other nations come rip us a new one."

* * *

><p>Sasuke had been helping the Tanaka's older son with fixing up their broken ox-cart when he heard Haruka's alarmed calls.<p>

He turned his head and stood immediately as he saw her running his way in her old ANBU gear.

"Thank heavens I found you", she wheezed. "Taro-sama has tasked you with watching over our village while I protect her."

He held her wrist before she could sprint away, "What happened?" he asked, and began running with her, after bowing to the startled Tanaka youth.

"Amaterasu no kamisama took her away", the redhead said in a grim tone.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "What?"

Haruka nodded. "She just took over her a couple hours ago, when I approached her she said something about Tsukuyomi going missing, and that you were to care for the shrine while she looked for him", she explained. "I'm going after her, with the wars and all there's no telling what people might do to her when she crosses the continent."

Sasuke nodded. In the continent the old gods had been all but forgotten, with only a handful of shrines devoted to them. A flaming miko would definitely raise alarm wherever she went.

They reached the shrine in record time, even using chakra to boost their speed. Taro-sama was there, adjusting the oldest Jounin armor Sasuke had ever seen on his person.

"Sensei?"Sasuke asked, bowing to him.

"I am going with Haruka-san to help protect Mitiro-chan" the old monk said. "You are to help Orihime-sama to evacuate her village and bring the people to high land, she'll be taking care of our turf while we sort this whole godly mess up. After that you stay here and protect everyone. There are a couple of former ninja in this village that know Earth-jutsu, one is the Watanabe patriarch and the other is the Yamamoto elder, the tofu maker. Tell them to start training, you'll need them." The man finished, and strapped a fearsome looking katana to his back.

"I have mastery of all the elements", Sasuke said, "but we never needed to use ninjutsu before, why now?" he asked.

"Tsukuyomi missing means there's no one up there to keep the moon from falling down on us", Taro said, and threw him his staff. "You'll need Earth-jutsu to hold the ocean back from flooding the island. The staff responds to spiritual energy, you'll need it to direct Ryujin*** no kamisama's energy when the water comes. Make sure to build earthen dams around the island first, and when the water comes, ask him to give you the power to direct the tide around the island, that should be enough to keep it from sinking until we find the moon-god. Do not mix chakra with spiritual energy, it offends the gods." He finished.

Sasuke nodded quietly, and looked up to the sky. The moon was clearly visible in the daylight, as full as it had been in his last dream about Naruto.

He held the humble wooden staff in his hands, and sighed with his eyes closed. He was fully aware of his power as a ninja, but he was just an apprentice at spiritual matters. Suddenly, he felt the staff thrum with power in his hands, and he looked up, startled.

"It is yours now, I had prepared it to respond to you before you came", Taro told him, standing a few feet away, with his back turned. "If we do not return, you must call the others and redistribute the areas, at least until the gods send another to take Mitiro-chan's place"

"But I'm not" Sasuke began to interrupt, and the old monk raised a hand.

"Amaterasu herself tasked you with this, Nanigashi-sama. If the sun goddess deems you ready, then you are ready", the monk turned his head to look at him with a playful glint in his eye, "that doesn't mean you can't pray for us to come back, though." He finished, and left with the miko's wife, leaving Sasuke standing open-mouthed at the foot of the sun-goddess' shrine.

* * *

><p>"All the five main Daimyo?" Tsunade asked, looking over the messages on Kakashi's desk.<p>

"Yes, heavens help us." Kakashi answered, and combed his hair with his hands. The door opened, and six geared ninja came in.

Naruto came back from where he stood looking out the window at the ominous moon.

"So this is the plan: we'll have four teams, three with one tracker, one medic and one of your clones, Naruto. Team one is Shino and Karin going east, team two is Kiba and Sakura going north, team three is Sai and Hinata going south" Shikamaru raised a hand at Naruto, who had opened his mouth, "Hinata has had medical training and her Byakugan is useful. Team four is you and I; we'll be heading west. Get four clones ready, one to stay here with Kakashi so we can be informed of any other development."

Naruto nodded and produced the clones, the four teams leaving shortly afterwards.

After an hour of traveling, Naruto felt they were far enough to question Shikamaru about their mission.

"Hey Shika, aren't we going on a wild-goose chase? We have no idea which way to go or who to look for", he asked.

"Right now, getting you moving is more important than knowing where we're going. Whoever these kidnappers are, they must be watching what we do. Since the Daimyo have all been taken at the same time, there is a chance we can track something if we spread out. No doubt there are other tracker teams from all the other villages going around, but it's essential for you to be seen out tracking as well, or else the enemy will grow suspicious. We'll be going to Suna first, to see if there's any information Gaara can share with us." Shikamaru looked at him with a worried look, "and besides, Gaara is your closest personal ally, he is the only Kage we know who has never expressed an interest in getting rid of you."

Naruto gaped at him. "Why would anyone want to get rid of me?" he asked.

"You are the strongest ninja alive and as of right now you're still under Konoha's service, Naruto. That is another reason to get you out of the village, we don't know if this kidnapping wasn't done as a way to distract the villages into sending their ninja out so they can get at you, or at Konoha itself. And that is another reason why we left your clone with Kakashi, if Konoha is attacked it can help defend the village until we come back. With all five Daimyo missing we have to suspect everything." He finished.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

*Barley cakes are traditional offerings for the moon-god, along with honey and water.

** The mirror is the symbol of the moon-god in Shinto tradition.

*** Ryujin is the Shinto god of the sea.


	16. On the usefulness of humble things

**A/N**:

To Funkyshnelpu jr: Kakashi isn't a bad guy in this fanfic, he is, though, a straight person that has internalized homophobia through his upbringing and didn't realize that until it was pointed out to him. It is something that happens to many good people and makes them hurt queer people without intending to. He is so much a GOOD person that he realized what he had inadvertently done and repaired it.

Keep them review coming guys, I'm answering them all :D And thank you all so much for reading my humble little story :D

And now, for something completely different:

* * *

><p>Tsukuyomi was an angry god.<p>

Sending his reflections to gather the five Daimyo was easy. Traveling with them at night, in the small dimension between dream and reality so no one could bother him on his journey, on the other hand, was a pain in his celestial butt. Or butts, one for each of his reflections.

He had never met such unworthy, whiny, useless people, and they were supposed to be royalty? The moon god could hardly believe his eyes.

"My ninja will destroy you for this!" The Daimyo from the Land of Wind said.

"Your ninja hardly care if anyone besides them is alive or dead, least of all you", Tsukuyomi answered.

"My ninja depend on me to keep the clans controlled", the Daimyo answered haughtily.

"Great good that did when the wars broke, and your villages decided to destroy everything to appease their bloodlust…" the god said with a smirk.

"The last war was held to stop a higher threat to all!" the Daimyo snarled.

"Oh yes, the last war… that was the one where your own lust for power bit you in the ass, wasn't it?" the moon god said derisively, and the Daimyo from the Land of Wind bit his own tongue in anger.

* * *

><p>"How dare you give me lowly barley cakes to eat?" another whined, this one from the Land of Water.<p>

"Where you only see humble barley cakes, I see the love and care of the people who share their fare with me. What kind of ruler is one who rejects an offering from the heart?" Tsukuyomi mused.

"I am the Daimyo, nothing but the best must be offered to me!" the Daimyo growled.

"If you take only the best, how will you ever know the intention behind the gift was pure? Do you not care about your people?" the god asked.

"The people exist to give me things!" the Daimyo hollered.

The moon god stopped his horse and looked back at the richly clad figure.

"No wonder they do not love you, then. You are not a leader, but only a crying cuckoo chick." He said, and the Daimyo from the Land of Water quieted at once.

* * *

><p>"How much do you want to let me go?" a third, the Daimyo from the Land of Earth, offered.<p>

Tsukuyomi laughed.

"Come on, there must be something you want from us!" the Daimyo screamed in impatience.

"From you? From you, nothing. From those who manipulate the strings that bind you, on the other hand, I want something, but nothing that you are able to give." The god answered.

"All there is in my land is mine, name your price and I will give it to you!" the Daimyo growled.

"Enlightenment", the moon god stated, and the Daimyo from the Land of Earth had no more to say.

* * *

><p>"You must be tricking all of us, there are no such things as gods!" a fourth, the Daimyo from the Land of Lightning, haughtily informed him.<p>

Tsukuyomi sighed, stopped his horse and untied the man. "Fine. Go then." He offered, and the Daimyo ran, only to find himself returning to the same place.

"It is a genjutsu!" the Daimyo sneered.

"Free yourself from it, then. I believe it is one of the first things your ninja learn to do." The god said, and chuckled.

"I… I cannot do that. I am not a ninja", the Daimyo replied in a small voice.

"Then how can you claim to be the one who rules them?" The moon god asked.

"They fear me!" the Daimyo claimed.

The white god tied the man to his horse, again.

"Why do you tie me if I cannot escape?" The Daimyo from the Land of Lightning asked fearfully.

"Why, so I can safely lead you, of course", the moon god answered, and the Daimyo went silent.

* * *

><p>Only one dared say anything out of mediocre whiny babble.<p>

"If you are truly the moon god, why did you let Kaguya eat the Shinju fruit?" the Daimyo from the Fire Country asked him.

Tsukuyomi blinked, and actually looked at the figure sitting near him, as they shared the god's fare of barley cakes, water and honey.

"Are you actually asking me something worthy of my attention?" the god asked, "I had lost my hopes that it was possible."

The Daimyo frowned. "Look, I know you probably think we humans are worthless, but surely you know the horror brought by the advent of chakra. Why did you do nothing to stop it, if you are as powerful as you claim to be?" he asked.

The moon god gave a dark chuckle. "Why did you and your predecessors allow for the ninja wars? It was you who ruled the lands, it is you who choose the Kage, aren't you?" he asked back.

The Fire Nation's Daimyo stood pensive for a while. "Well… I cannot make all decisions for _everyone_. I rule over all, but what are people but useless children, if they cannot rule their own daily lives at all? They must find ways to deal with each other, or else they are insignificant, and might not even exist."

The moon god raised his cup at the Daimyo. "And now you know why we did nothing to interfere when you decided to break your covenant with us and take the Shinju fruit for yourselves. It was your mistake, so you must find a way to make it right."

"But now you interfere", the Daimyo retorted.

"Yes, now I interfere; for you have been so blinded by your own power and position, you do not fulfill your royal obligations. You only take, and let those who are power hungry and bloodthirsty destroy everything, even the one gift that makes you different from all other life, and that I cannot forgive." The god said, rising and pulling the Daimyo up.

"What is this gift, then, that we have overlooked?" the Daimyo asked, resigning to follow on foot besides the mounted god.

"Why, love, of course", Tsukuyomi said.

* * *

><p>Sasuke sat down hard in the sand, panting.<p>

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep the earth walls up all the time. He just didn't have enough chakra.

It was a blessing that the northern part of the island was mountainous: the cliffs held back the giant waves by themselves. The eastern and western parts of the island had small gulfs that were somewhat protected, and the waves that attacked the island every morning hadn't been able to reach over five miles inland, which was also fortunate. Evacuating the areas had been done in the fifth day of the full moon, when it had begun moving towards the Earth.

However, the entire southern part of the island was open to the ocean, and Sasuke had no idea how he'd ever find time to even try to talk to the ocean god, let alone make him divert the waters away from the island. It was all he could do to keep the walls up when the tide turned, which was soon becoming an impossible event to predict, for as the moon approached, the sea became wilder.

He hadn't asked the two old ninja Taro had recommended to him to help. They were so old, and the task was so grueling, he couldn't realistically see them being of any help.

So it was a very disgruntled novice monk that was sitting at the beach, pulling on his own hair, trying to think of a way to save the people entrusted to him, that heard a polite cough behind him.

"What?" he growled, looking back at whoever interrupted his thinking.

An ancient old lady and an equally old man were standing behind him, holding a couple of what looked like small praying wheels.

"We have heard of your trouble here, and wish to help you if we can, Hoshi-sama", said the Yamamoto elder matriarch. The old man next to her, the Watanabe patriarch, nodded enthusiastically.

Sasuke took a deep breath and swallowed the angry retort he was about to give the elders. Useless they might be, but at this point, the Uchiha was too desperate to let pride get in the way of politeness. If nothing else, he might at least ask them to move the people up to the mountains. He stood and bowed to them, and winced when the earthen walls partially collapsed behind him. In another hour or two, at most, the tide would turn again, stronger than the last time.

The elders smiled and came close, and offered him the prayer wheels. He took them, but shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think praying alone will help. I can't stop feeding chakra to the walls, and Taro-sama told me not to mix chakra with spiritual energy" he began.

The Yamamoto matriarch raised a hand to stop him. "Oh, but these are not prayer wheels, Hoshi-sama. They are chakra batteries", she said. "We use them at the soy mill to move the grinding stones."

Sasuke gaped. "They're _what_ now?" he asked, never having heard of such things.

The old Watanabe man laughed. "Well, chakra isn't only good for fighting, you know. There is no electricity at all in the island, and even back in the continent it is badly contained. Yamamoto-san came from Rock, her family had devised these to allow for the use of chakra as an energy source, but the Tsuchikage in power back then outlawed it, because civilians might use it. Here, though, there is no military, and there is soy to be ground, but there are not enough hands to push the stones", he said.

Yamamoto-san smiled and showed Sasuke how the devices worked. "What you do is, you imprint the seals on it", she pulled a scroll from her pocket, wrapped it around the wheel, bit her finger and smeared it on the scroll, which made the seals on the scroll imprint on the wheel, and then she put it on the ground; "then you start the jutsu and add a transfer seal", she made the seals and a small earthen wall came up in front of them, and she made a last seal, "then you transfer your chakra to the wheel as so", she touched the wheel and gave it a gentle push, making it turn, "and now it will hold the jutsu with the chakra you fed it, for as long as it lasts", she finished, beaming at him.

"What about when the chakra is entirely spent?" Sasuke asked, in wonder.

"Well, you just feed the wheel again. It's economical, because you can actually rest and replenish your chakra while it works for you, or you can use other kinds of energy, as well", the old lady said. "It is how I am able to help feed our people, even in my old age, especially now that we are few due to the epidemic", she completed.

"How much chakra can it hold?" the Uchiha asked, pulling a small note pad and a pencil.

After a few calculations, he figured one of the small wheels could hold up to a mile of walls for at least twelve hours, which made the contraptions incredibly useful. He could easily understand why the Tsuchikage would ban such devices as potentially dangerous.

Yamamoto-san offered the five devices she had, and fifteen more to be made until the next morning. He thanked them profusely; it would be a tight fit, but enough to protect the island and liberate him to deal with Ryujin no kamisama.

As the elders left to send their young with more chakra containers, Sasuke felt a humble pride for his people blossom in his heart.

* * *

><p>Naruto stumbled inside the small roadside eatery, and let his body fall over one of the benches.<p>

"Ten days, dattebayo…" he moaned, dropping his head on the table.

"Who the hell are we dealing with?"Shikamaru asked with a huff, dragging his tired ass to sit across from the blond. "How can someone do what these people did and just disappear from the face of the Earth like that? I can't believe this, it's illogical! There hasn't been one single message but the first!" he complained.

After the first three days of searching without any clues Naruto had decided to go ballistic with his clones. The clones that were with the other teams had multiplied by the thousands, he himself had made more than that as well, and now only a tiny strip of land in the west of the continent was left unsearched.

The moon had seemly parked itself in its full phase, and seemed bigger every day, as well. In all the villages and settlements Naruto had visited, old people could be seen leaving; some in panic, some in sad resignation, towards the last shrine of the moon god.

Which, by the way, was also the place he was headed. The other teams had been disbanded, with the exception of Sai, whose ink birds were useful to reach the more remote regions. Since they were so far from the Fire Country, they had forgone the use of their headbands, else they might attract unwanted attention.

The ink-nin was currently lying down on the floor beside their table, and Shikamaru nudged his face with his foot.

"Wanna eat something before we continue?" Shikamaru asked in a tired voice.

"You guys are trying to kill me…" Sai moaned. "Can't we just give this up and go home? Let somebody else become Daimyo, they're all useless anyway…"

"Without them there is no one to name and control the Kage, stupid", Shikamaru said, after they had ordered some food. "And without Kage, the ninja clans will butcher each other again, until there is no one left. Daimyo succession is a delicate process, until all five families decide who's next anyone can just up and question the authority of their Kage, and it could be over a year until a suitable substitute is decided. Not to mention there's usually the matter of assassinations within the royal families, and other troublesome shit."

Naruto sighed, and wondered how Sasuke was faring. The reports from the coastal regions were grim, with news of giant waves destroying entire island countries. He itched to go check on his love, but feared the consequences, especially since damn Shikamaru wouldn't let him take a leak by himself, under Kakashi's orders most probably.

At least he could count on the bastard being alive; their bond was still strong.

He stood up and shook his head to drive the sleep away after their meager meal.

"Let's go", he said, before taking the road. The others came after him, sharing his grim silence.

They stopped to rest at a small, run down village.

After leaving their things at their room in the small inn, they reconvened for a meal.

"More and more strangers passing around", Shikamaru heard the innkeeper mutter to a customer.

"Don't complain, at least these aren't with the Flaming Miko", the customer, a short man with a large moustache, answered him.

Shikamaru took his tea cup and moved to the counter. "We're heading north", he said. "Anything strange passed that way we might be wary of?" he asked noncommittally.

The innkeeper laughed. "You should be fine as long as you steer away from the Flaming Miko and her retainers", he said. "I wonder if Amaterasu no kamisama has decided to return her, she was already a difficult one when she was young, age has only sharpened her wits", he laughed.

"Flaming Miko?" Shikamaru asked in a bored voice.

"They say Amaterasu no kamisama herself chose her from the novices at Tsukuyomi's temple", the short man said. "I was a child when it happened; she came down the mountain wrapped in flames and last we heard she had taken to the sea, walking just like a ninja".

He continued, "She passed this way just yesterday on her way back up the mountain, except this time she had two seasoned ninja with her, without headbands or markings", the man finished.

Shikamaru thanked the men and went back to the table.

"I might be wrong, but I think we might get a clue", he told the other two ninja. "Finish up so we can rest a bit, we should be moving at dawn."


	17. Family, friends and simpathetic beasts

**A/N**: Hi everyone!

Ok, last legs, after this one I think I can wrap up the story in three more chapters. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, I love you guys!

* * *

><p>"Hungry?" came the call from behind Sasuke, and he – almost – jumped from the top of the wall, from where he was overseeing the result of his previous dealings with the ocean god.<p>

Spiritual work required much more attention than ninjutsu, and because chakra and spiritual energy conflicted, the amount of focus required reflected on the energy consumption of the wielder. No wonder many yamabushi and miko were stocky, strong figures with slow metabolism, if they were lithe like most ninja they'd easily drop dead from starvation.

Sasuke jumped down from the wall and looked at the big covered bowl of gray taro porridge with a grimace.

"Pretend it's something else, brother", Daisuke said and pushed the bowl to him with a bright smile.

"Been doing that for nearly two years already, unfortunately my mouth has resisted my attempts to pretend this is tomatoes", Sasuke answered as they left the shore line to avoid sand on their meal.

Daisuke laughed heartily. Of all the clerics, he was the most easygoing.

That had been a shock to Sasuke, who had heard about Zen before and believed it to be a nihilistic Buddhist sect. In fact, Zen monks were firm believers in the middle path of Buddha, and that the biggest problem with humanity was taking things too seriously, since, in the end, according to them, everything and everyone was the same.

_"__You see, the nothing is a way to seeing everything as having the same importance. It doesn't mean things and people are not important, but that everything and everyone is equally important in the Universe. All individualities, though different, have the same worth", Daisuke had taught him. "And because they are all worth the same, nothing is entirely bad, or entirely good. It all depends on the point of view you are using, and reaching Nirvana through nothingness means you can detach yourself from the different points of view, and see the picture as a whole. That, my shugenja__brother, is embracing the nothing, and loving everything with the same intensity." he finished. _

"How is everyone doing with reconstruction?" Sasuke asked as they sat down to eat, and uncovered their bowls.

"The able-bodied men are taking turns scraping land to get rid of the excess surface salt from the floods, and the children and women have been busy with sheltering everyone. Orihime has been able to get an area clean for the animals to be kept away from the people to avoid disease, but many crops have been destroyed. Even if we are able to keep the island safe from more tsunami, if the moon stays off-course we'll eventually face famine", Daisuke answered.

Sasuke's appetite waned at those news, and he stared at his (overly large in his opinion) bowl of food.

"We aren't there yet, Nanigashi-kun", Daisuke said between mouthfuls. "And of all of us, you, Orihime and Hisashi are the ones who cannot fall sick. We all depend on you wielding chakra and dealing with the gods to survive this. So eat the food, and don't feel guilty about it. We all would much rather live to be afraid of famine later than drown now because you didn't want to eat a little more than the rest of the family."

Sasuke stared at him in silence, and then nodded. He knew he'd never be able to voice what he thought then, but he started eating again.

'Thank you, brother.'

* * *

><p>"Naruto? Why don't you date Hinata?" Sai asked out of the blue, and Naruto promptly crashed down on his face in the forest floor.<p>

They had been traveling for a couple of hours since sunrise, and were almost reaching the edge of the forest at the middle of the mountain in which summit the temple of the moon god had been built.

Shikamaru sighed and decided to write a letter to Temari while waiting for Naruto to deal with their clueless team mate. No doubt his question stemmed from his previous teaming with Hinata, and if Shikamaru knew anything, it was that Naruto would probably take half an hour trying to sputter his way out of it.

Sai dropped next to the blond, currently rubbing his head and silently cursing Sai up to the nth generation.

"So?" Sai asked, and crouched next to him.

Naruto sighed, and rubbed his face. "Did she ask you to ask me that?" he asked.

"Not really, she just didn't have an answer for why you didn't get together after the war, and I'm curious." Sai answered with a shrug.

Naruto swallowed, and hugged his knees.

"I don't love her like that, Sai." he said.

"But she loves you. And in this book I read it said that men learn to love women with time, so not being in love is no problem for a man if he wants to start a family. I thought that would be what you wanted after the war, you know. Along with being Hokage." Sai replied.

Naruto chuckled darkly, and rubbed his face. "Sai, do you really think having kids is enough excuse to be with someone you don't have feelings for? What kind of a father would I be if I just married in order to have kids? How could I ever teach them what falling in love is like and what being with the person you fell in love with is like if I didn't have that with their mother?" he asked.

"Anyway, kids aren't a possibility for me. There's no telling what all the things that happened in my body by syncing my chakra with the beasts and by being all messed up during the war might have done to my genes, and honestly, the idea of giving something completely unknown and probably harmful to a child doesn't appeal to me at all. I know that my parents loved me and that my dad sealed Kurama in me to save the village and that that was my duty as a ninja, but… how can I make someone I don't even know go through the same thing I went through? Not everyone wants to be ninja. My parents were lucky I wanted to, and that I was strong enough to overcome all that happened to me… but it could have been different." He said.

"Like with Sasuke", Sai said, and nodded.

"Yeah", Naruto sighed. "Or with you", he completed.

After the war Sai had tried dating for a while, but he had given it up, saying he just couldn't see what the appeal of it was. He had been able to develop his friendship bonds, but still had many emotional issues, and Naruto knew they bothered him.

Sai went quiet and nodded again.

"Wouldn't you like to know what it's like to fall in love, though? I mean… I haven't, but you don't have the same issues I do." He asked.

Naruto's eyes looked empty for a long moment. "I know what falling in love is like", he answered, and Sai gaped at him.

"Are you still in love with Sakura then? But she's with Kakashi…" he mused.

Naruto shook his head. "I was infatuated with Sakura, I didn't love her truly. I'm happy she's with Kakashi, he's good for her and so is she for him", he said.

"But… who is she, then?" Sai asked with a confused face.

Naruto gave him a pained look, shook his head and took to the trees again, leaving Sai to wonder what he had done to hurt his friend.

* * *

><p>The moon god saw the three legged crow on the fifteenth day of travel.<p>

'O shit, Yatagarasu*' he thought, and hurriedly stopped and got down the horse.

"What the hell are you doing now?" the daimyos asked, as he and each of his mirror images pushed them over the horses.

"Leading you a little faster" he mumbled, and took off, the horse quickly gaining speed and leaving the ground to fly in the space between dream and reality.

* * *

><p>It was twilight when Naruto's team reached halfway up the mountain, and met with the strangers Shikamaru had heard about in the previous evening at the inn.<p>

The miko was standing in the middle of the road, a short, stout, angry looking woman with graying hair, a round face and piercing brown eyes. In front of her was another woman, a tall, statuesque, short-haired redhead armed with two wakizashis and wearing old, nondescript ANBU gear. Behind the miko was a strong-looking, barrel-chested elderly man in also unidentifiable, ancient Jounin attire, wielding a katana.

Naruto's eyes widened as he saw them, and he stepped forward, only to have Shikamaru try to hold him back.

"Stay back while I talk to them, Naruto", he said, but Naruto ignored him, and approached the strangers.

"Haruka-san", the blonde said in a weak voice, "Mitiro-sama… Taro-sama…" he continued, and his voice broke, "you… you are real…" he said, falling to his knees on the ground and lowering his head.

The redhead looked back at the two people behind her. The old man only shrugged, but the miko smiled and came forward.

Naruto felt a hand touch his chin and let it lift his head. He gasped as he saw, through his tears, the outline of a golden lady around the miko, a tall figure with orange eyes and a large, compassionate smile, and fell into her embrace, bawling.

"Um, ok, what's going on?" Shikamaru asked with a frown.

"Are you his true friends?" the redhead asked him, and, after trading glances with Sai, Shikamaru nodded.

"Good. We should talk, then", the old man said, approaching the woman, who looked back at the miko.

The miko quietly looked to the right side of the road, and a small bush caught fire. Her companions motioned for Shikamaru and Sai to follow, and they sat around the fire.

"Ok, can you, uh, explain that?" Sai asked, pointing at Naruto and the miko.

Haruka smiled. "That's a normal reaction when people meet Amaterasu no kamisama, especially her children", she explained. "You are very far away from Konoha, this must be an important mission for you", she stated.

Shikamaru gave her a calculating look. "How do you know us?" he asked.

She returned the look. "Let's say he", she pointed at Naruto, "has a... friend in common with us", she answered.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "Why are you going to the temple of the moon god?" he asked.

"Tsukuyomi no kamisama is missing. That is why the moon is falling towards the Earth. Amaterasu no kamisama has taken over Mitiro-sama's body to look for her consort." Taro answered. "Why are you?" he asked.

"The daimyo from the five elemental nations were kidnapped", Naruto's voice was heard, and all four turned their heads to the road. The blond was standing, and gave Shikamaru a sheepish look. "Sorry, Shikamaru… I know it's a secret mission, but I promise we can trust them", he said, and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, handing it to the redheaded woman.

Haruka read the paper and looked at Naruto with her lips pursed. "How did you find this?" she asked.

Shikamaru sighed. "That is a copy of the notes we found. All of them were identical, and stuck on each daimyo's pillow with a shard of mirror", he explained.

The sun goddess's head turned sharply at that. "What does the note say?" she asked.

"It says for your child to meet his, Amaterasu no kamisama", Haruka said with a smirk.

The goddess burst into laughter. "Oh that insufferable, romantic fool", she said with a thousand-watt grin. "No wonder Yatagarasu did not answer my call either!"

Shikamaru, Naruto and Sai looked uncomprehendingly from the laughing goddess to the smirking redhead and the old man, who was resting his face on his palm and chuckling softly.

"Well?" Shikamaru asked.

"We know where to find your daimyos", Taro said. "We can take you to them, but only if you do not inform anyone until we get there", he stated.

In Naruto's mind, he saw a palm with a crescent moon in it, and his heart skipped a beat.

Shikamaru frowned. "This is a matter of utmost importance, we cannot let the Kage go without information", he said.

"What are you afraid of?" Sai asked, and the two elder ninja looked at the sun goddess as if asking for guidance.

Amaterasu nodded. "The only one who must come is my child. If you desire to accompany us, you will not inform anyone until the matter is resolved." She stated.

Shikamaru looked about to protest, but Naruto interrupted him. "Shika, Sai… if you want to inform Kakashi and the other Kage that I left on my own, then fine by me. I'm going with them."

"You are not going with them by yourself, Naruto. This is too dangerous, we have to inform-", Shikamaru started to say, but Naruto knocked him out cold with a punch that got him flying against a tree.

Sai jumped up. "What the hell Naruto?" he yelled, and Naruto turned to him with a sad, but determined look.

"I'm sorry Sai… but I can't let you hurt him", Naruto said, and grabbed the ink-nin with a chakra hand.

Amaterasu held his arm before he could punch Sai, however.

"Excuse-me child", the goddess said, and touched Sai's forehead. The ink-nin blinked, and tried to weave a jutsu, with no result.

"No! What did you do!" he screamed.

"I took your sight and your ability to use chakra. When we reach my shrine and this matter is settled, they will be returned to you", the goddess said.

Naruto looked at her and made a face. "Uh, how can you do that?" he asked.

"I **am** a goddess, boy. It isn't just a title", she said, and smiled. When Naruto came back with Shikamaru in another chakra arm, she looked at him appreciatively.

"How about we have a little race with my wayward consort?" she asked, and pointed at Naruto's belly. "Come out and be of use, beast", she commanded, and Naruto felt something tug into him, and suddenly Kurama was sitting on the road.

The beast quickly made obeisance to the goddess, to Naruto's great dismay.

"Holy shit, never in a million years would I think to see your mangy ass kowtowing to somebody!" Naruto exclaimed, and Kurama growled at him.

"I do have manners, you…" he started, and then sighed. "Just get on and let's go", he grumbled.

They climbed up on Kurama's shoulders, with the exception of the goddess, who set herself on the fox's snout.

"I do hope you are able to run, beast", the goddess said, and Kurama snorted. "Onwards!" she commanded, pointing down the mountain.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

Yatagarasu is Amaterasu's three-legged crow, which was sent to guide Emperor Jimmu when he gets lost in hostile territory in Kumano on his way to Yamato. It is seen as being able to navigate into any unknown territory.


	18. Coming home

A/N: Finally! Two more to go and we'll be through. Thank you all SO much for accompanying this story. And worry not, I WILL wrap everything in the last 2 chapters after this :D

Please review, I thrive with your comments.

And now, for the start of the moment you all been waiting for:

* * *

><p>"Hoshi-sama! Hoshi-sama!"<p>

Sasuke opened weary eyes and clumsily stood up from where he had flopped down in exhaustion half an hour ago. He rubbed his eyes and saw a few of the kids from the southern village running towards him under the slow dawn light with frightened faces.

"What happened?" he asked, and grabbed the wooden staff from the side of the tree it was propped against.

"Strangers got to the island flying over the walls! Help us, please!" a little girl exclaimed, pulling him by his tattered robes.

His eyes widened, and he ran towards the beach after them, getting there just in time to see five identical white horses, with five identical white men, carrying something red in front of them, touching down lightly on the sand.

'Shadow clones?' he thought briefly, but dismissed it. Ninja couldn't conjure mounts for their clones.

His eyes widened further as the horses and men came slowly up the beach towards him, closer and closer to each other until the images blurred into one, and the five red "things" fell on the sand in a groaning heap.

Sasuke let go of the staff and gathered his chakra around him.

"Who are you?" He asked, with a strange feeling in his gut.

The white man got off the horse and came closer, waving at him. Sasuke felt a sudden chill and his chakra dispersed, but before he could react, the man talked to him in a soothing tone.

"There is no need to guard yourself, my child… or better, hoshi sama", the white man said with an appreciatively look at Sasuke. "I have seen your and Amaterasu's child's struggles, and", he said, "I brought you a gift that might help you." He finished.

Sasuke looked at the five lumps in the sand, who were slowly untangling from each other and standing with undignified huffs, and his jaw almost hit the ground.

"Are those the… the", he sputtered in honest shock, as he recognized the official red and gold garb of the five men.

"Daimyo? Yes. I believe you have unfinished business to deal with after that horrible war you had, and so considering those are the people utmost in charge of the world, then it would be proper for you to have it dealt with them", the white man said with a smug smirk.

Sasuke turned a frightened gaze to the white man. "Those are the daimyo from the five elemental countries! The Kage will slaughter us all!" he yelled.

The white man chuckled. "Calm down, child. The Kage will do nothing, they do not know what is happening", he said.

The five figures approached, swatting the sand from their royal robes. "You never told any of us the others would be here too, you know", the Daimyo from the Earth Country complained. "We could have all talked the things we did with you together if we had all traveled together!"

"The reason you are all here together and weren't before is that I had to lead you to conclude things on your own before you came together for an agreement, and you cannot have that agreement without the people who live here", the white man said.

"Will you at least tell me who the hell you are?" Sasuke asked in annoyance at being ignored.

The white man turned to him and opened his mouth.

"_**TSUKUYOMIIIIII!**_" a thunderous female voice shouted, and everyone turned to look at the beach, to see a giant nine-tailed fox landing on all fours, with an indistinct flame on its snout.

The white man froze, a bead of sweat running on the side of his head.

'Kyuubi, huh. Why am I not surprised? Of course wherever you find trouble you find the usuratonkachi…' Sasuke thought, plopping down on the floor to sit on his heels, and deciding not to ask anything further.

The flame jumped down from Kurama's snout and stomped its way up the beach, while the moon god gave a sheepish smile and the five daimyo quickly huddled together behind Sasuke, deciding that to be the safest place, seeing as the monk was keeping a calm, clearly unimpressed face, while the three-legged crow from before landed on his shoulder. The Uchiha looked at it sideways, rolled his eyes, and face palmed.

"So here you are, my wayward consort… would you care to explain this to me now, or would you rather I let this girl deal with you?" Amaterasu asked the moon god, and waved lightly at Sasuke, who quickly bowed at her and smartly kept his mouth shut, being able to feel the miko's anger and the goddess's amusement clashing waves of energy.

Tsukuyomi beamed at her. "Yes, well, I saw our children suffering and all the people in charge not doing much to actually fix the mess that drew them apart in the first place, so I decided to do the rational thing and bring the mortals who actually are responsible for ruling the world together so they may learn how to do it better", he proudly stated.

By then the others in the sun goddess's party had arrived, Taro and Haruka moving to kneel beside Sasuke, who gave them a curt nod of acknowledgement, and Naruto had stood in front of the gods, rigid with anger, still carrying his (now able to see) team mates with his chakra arms.

"You!" the blond pointed at the moon god. "You are the one who kidnapped all the daimyo!" he said, and Tsukuyomi looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, you brought your child then, my light, thank you", the god said to his consort, and turned to Naruto, "I would have thought you to be here a long time ago, I did leave very specific instructions on my note", he chided.

Naruto started sputtering indignantly, and Sasuke sighed, standing up and moving to retrieve him before he said something offensive.

Shikamaru and Sai's eyes went as wide as plates with recognition as they saw the man approaching. Sure, the Uchiha was covered in tattered rough spun robes, his unkempt hair almost at shoulder length, as if it had been cut with a knife, held back with a sandy rag on his forehead, but his face was still perfectly clear in the dawning morning light.

Naruto seemed not to notice his presence, so he pulled on the blond's collar. "Keep quiet and let the gods deal with whatever they want, usuratonkachi", Sasuke said on his ear.

Naruto froze at the sound of that voice, and slowly turned his face towards it, his eyes widening when he saw Sasuke's face enter his field of vision. He let the Uchiha lead him towards the rest of the small group of mortals in a daze. The chakra arms suddenly disappeared, but Shikamaru and Sai wisely decided to follow him and wait quietly for further developments.

The gods looked at each other for a long moment, and turned to the audience, as the crow flew from Sasuke's shoulder to Amaterasu's outstretched arm.

"May our children come forth, and the leaders of this world pay attention to their words", the sun goddess said, and Sasuke stood up, pulling the still dazed blond forward with him.

The two men looked at each other timidly, and the sun goddess good-naturedly elbowed the Uchiha. "Come on, tell him."

Sasuke blushed, and sighed, lowering his head and taking Naruto's bandaged right hand in his left.

"You know, we can only see the moon at night, most of the time, because the sun's light is so much stronger, the moon becomes invisible. But… even though we can't see it, it's still up there, and they are together. When the moon shines at night, it shares with us… the light that the sun gives it… the love that, even when they are apart, is strong enough to light the way for the moon. Amaterasu no kamisama told me to tell you that when I met her, and it took me a long time to understand it, but now I do. All the time we have been apart, all the shit I went through… I was able to survive it because of you", he said, and raised his eyes when Naruto's hand closed in his. "It was always your light that fed me the courage to do what I thought I had to… and it was your light that prevented me from taking that final plunge into darkness in the end, because… without your light I can't see where I am going, Naruto."

Naruto chuckled.

"You know", he said, "Back in Wave, when Haku asked me if I had special people… I was so hellbent in being accepted by everyone, in being recognized as a normal person… that though I knew, deep inside, that you were more important, I couldn't admit it being more than just rivalry. All my life, I needed to be seen, to be accepted, to be recognized as a normal person, as one among many. I wanted to be Hokage so that the village that shunned me in the beginning would accept me as one of its own, but when you left… all that lost importance. Sakura-chan made me promise to find you and bring you back for her", Naruto put his left hand over Sasuke's lips before he could say anything, "and, in the beginning, I shielded myself with that excuse, it was so… convenient. I would be striving to bring you back for her, to fulfill a promise, and I could pretend you were a brother to me, a dear friend and nothing more, because she loved you… but as time went by and I couldn't sway you from your revenge, and you sunk lower and lower in all the hate… so low that even Sakura-chan decided to kill you, thinking that it would be better for you to die than to become something different than the Sasuke she dreamed you to be, I understood that what I felt for you was more than even she did", he continued, "because no matter how much searching for you as desperately as I did made me look like a crazed fool in the eyes of everyone else", Naruto said, giving a side look to where Shikamaru and Sai were watching them, "I couldn't let you go like she tried to. I couldn't make myself allow you to be killed, no matter how stupidly you behaved, no matter how many crimes you committed."

Sasuke gave him an understanding look, and he shook his head, looking down.

"But still", he went on, "I hid behind our friendship, I pretended my love for you to be as Itachi's, even when Itachi himself told me what we felt for each other was different than what you and him had. I did that because I was so afraid… no, I was so_ terrified_ to not be accepted, to be more different from everyone else than just by having Kurama sealed in me, and to be shunned by everyone, even you, because you were always perfect in my eyes, and so you could never share the feelings I had for you, that I went on burying everything that I was, insisting on not recognizing my own self… until we last fought, and you", his voice broke, "you threw what I felt at my face. My own loneliness, my fears, my own inadequacy… and then you said you were in love with me, and I couldn't run from myself anymore. Because even though I hid behind Sakura's feelings for you, telling myself that that was what being in love was, Hinata showed me what real love was, and it was what I felt for you. And I had to recognize that, not only for myself, but to respect her as a human being able to develop such strong feelings for someone else"

Sai's eyes widened at that, and he realized what Naruto was saying.

"I had to face it, and I did it because you were there to show me the way", Naruto continued, "and after Sakura-chan woke me from the genjutsu and I went back to the village, I took it to myself to protect you at all costs. Even if I had to spend the rest of my life pretending to not love you, pretending to be someone I'm not, I would do it to protect you… and that is why I hid this", he started to rip the bandages away from his arm, "I wanted to hide this proof of our bond from everyone, so that it wouldn't be used against me, so that it wouldn't be used to track you… I negated our bond, denied what I felt for you, how much I needed you, and it was destroying me", he said, tears beginning to drop from his eyes, "because even though the village recognized me at last, I was still alone, because the me that the village recognized wasn't the entire Naruto, it was just what I let people see. No matter how well people treated me, I couldn't recognize myself in their eyes. The Sage said I was the sun and you were the moon… but what I saw on people's eyes wasn't but a second-hand light, a fake light, from my fake self. I tried to live with that, knowing that as long as you were safe, even if you weren't with me, my true self would be alive, with you, in my dreams… even after I found out there are other people like me, people who can love beyond what is set by society's rules, I knew I would never have you and I would have to be content with our dreams… but now", he said, raising his tear-stricken eyes to Sasuke, "now I see you here, in front of me, in the flesh, and… I can't. I can't do this anymore, Sasuke… I can't just pretend to be someone else, to not love you, to not need you… I look at you and I see my real light reflected in your eyes, and I know that you are the one who knows me best, who loves me for who I am, the one where I can find myself in… and I know it's selfish of me to ask you this, but… please let me come home", he finished, putting his now naked right hand over Sasuke's heart.

Sasuke raised his left hand and put it over Naruto's heart. "I am home, Naruto… welcome home", he said, tears dropping from his own eyes.

Naruto smiled. "Welcome home, Sasuke".

The gods quietly held their hands around the two men, and both Naruto and Sasuke felt as the symbols carved by their bond in their arms moved over their hearts.

"Wherever you go now", the gods said in unison, "you _are_ each other's home. May this be our present to you, so that you can return to each other from wherever you are", and both men felt the energy burn into them.

Of course, Naruto being who he was, he opened his jumper to look over his heart, and pulled his shirt up in curiosity, making Sasuke snort and cover his face with his palm.

"Don't you think this isn't the appropriate moment to start stripping, usuratonkachi?" the Uchiha said, snickering when Naruto raised a scowling face at him.

"Hey, I wanna see what it looks like, teme! Don't tell me you aren't curious too!" the blond said, looking down on his chest, where a silver kanji shone. "Oh, look, it says Home, cool, huh?" he said, giving him a megawatt grin.

"It is more than that", Amaterasu said, smiling down at him. "Wherever you are, whenever you miss each other, all you have to do is wish to be home, and you'll be taken to where the other is", and she turned to the assembled daimyo, "May this be proof of their marriage. Respect that, for the love that the gods have blessed, no man shall be allowed to break apart."

The five daimyo gaped in wonder, and nodded.

"You five have been brought here to learn, from the very victims of the cruel system you allowed to develop, how to properly rule and lead your people into peace. Take their advice to heart, for it is the responsibility of the ruler to see that his people and his land thrive", the moon god said. "Remember that sometimes the ruler must tie his subjects to him so that they don't lose their way, but the ties that bind must be made with kindness, and come from the heart."

The daimyo's eyes widened, and, after a long moment, the five came forward, and kowtowed.

"Thank you, Tsukuyomi no kamisama, Amaterasu no kamisama", the daimyo from the Earth Country said.

"We will learn, and we shall not forget", the daimyo from the Water Country said.

"May we be worthy of your confidence", the daimyo from the Wind Country stated.

"And may we make your teachings true", the daimyo from the Lightning Country hoped.

"With the help of _all_ our people, we will succeed", the daimyo from the Fire Country promised.

The gods smiled. "We shall always watch over you", Tsukuyomi said, and vanished.

"Always", Amaterasu agreed, and left. Sasuke jumped forward to catch Mitiro's body before it reached the ground.

"Haruka-san!" he called as he felt the miko's body grow cold and still in his arms. The redhead ran and put a hand over the miko's heart.

"Shit!" she whispered. "Taro-sama, get Orihime-sama, she's crashing!" she yelled.

"What's happening?" Naruto asked, seeing them stretch her body out in the sand.

"Miko spend their own life-energy to sustain their body when the gods come and take them, for gods don't drink, eat or sleep", Sasuke said as Haruka blew air into Mitiro's pale lips, "Mitiro-sama has been taken for over ten days already", he explained as he started pumping her heart.

"Maybe I can help", Naruto started, and before Sasuke could cry out to him, he touched the miko with a hand covered in chakra, and was immediately blown upwards higher than the clouds above them.

"Somebody catch him before he lands, I can't stop here or she dies!" Sasuke screamed, and Sai quickly made an ink bird and flew to catch Naruto's body as it fell from ridiculous heights.

"What the hell was that?" Shikamaru asked, approaching at the same time another stout woman, this one taller than Mitiro, but also wearing miko garb, came running at them.

"Spiritual energy and chakra repel each other", Sasuke explained after bowing and letting Orihime take his place. "It's a good thing we have chakra batteries here, or else the island would have gone entirely under the sea days ago", he commented, watching as the moon slowly distanced itself from the Earth.

"Chakra _**WHAT**_?" Shikamaru said, turning sharply towards him.

A groan distracted Sasuke from responding.

"She's stable, let's take her back to the temple", Orihime said, and Sasuke helped putting the unconscious miko on her wife's back. "Please led the others there, Nanigashi-sama, Taro-sama is spreading the word of our guests' arrival", she asked, and he nodded.

"What's with this Nanigashi name?" Sai asked afterwards, as they made their way to the central village.

"Who cares, what's this _sama_ business is what I wanna know!" Naruto snickered, elbowing Sasuke with the arm not carrying bags full of clay cylinders.

"Shut up, usuratonkachi", Sasuke said, and Naruto blew him a raspberry, getting a middle finger to the face in response.

Shikamaru watched their banter from the back, behind the daimyo, and smiled.


	19. Completeness

A/N: Damn, I thought I'd be able to fit all the ending in two chapters, but then a couple of angry ninja tripped me, threatening to go on strike if they didn't get a long enough lemon, so... guess this will be longer than 20 chapters, after all.

Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, and don't worry, Teacuppy, I'm not mad at your review. I hope I've cleared with you why I chose to portray the characters the way I did :D

And now, for something very much awaited! Hope you all like it :D

* * *

><p>The central village was, to put it mildly, a mess.<p>

Older folk and older children were busily walking to and fro, carrying large metal pots of boiled water, terracotta trays and bowls of food to be prepared, rough spun bandages and medicines. Some other children were sweeping the hard dirt floors inside and outside the makeshift tents, and shooing the smaller kids away from the fires lit to boil water for consumption.

The impression the place sent was one of extreme poverty, but also of strong resilience.

"Nanigashi-sama!" a young girl screamed, and a handful of children ran towards the small party approaching the village.

The Leaf ninjas gaped as the children tackled the Uchiha, and he picked a couple of them up, kissing them, and messing with other children's hair.

"Is it true the gods came to save us, hoshi-sama?" a little boy, not older than five years old, asked Sasuke from where he was perched on his left hip.

"Yes, Toshi, Tsukuyomi no kamisama and Amaterasu no kamisama have come", Sasuke said, and pointed to the sky, "the moon is going back to its place, and the ocean can now be calm again, so the island is finally safe."

The children looked up in wonder at the distancing moon, looked back at him, looked back up, and began screaming in joy. Most of them began running back to spread the news, but a few remained, looking at the others in curiosity.

"Did you come to help?" the little boy, Toshi, asked the daimyo.

The daimyo from the Land of Water scratched his head and smiled. "Well, we have actually come for your help, but yes, we shall give you all the help we can", he said.

"Un!" the boy nodded and got down from Sasuke's hip, stretching his little hand to the royal. "Come with us then, please? All our moms and dads are cleaning up the soil, and our grandparents need help with the water", he asked, and the daimyo looked at Sasuke, who nodded in encouragement.

The children led the daimyo away, chatting with them wildly.

Sasuke went to follow, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him, and he turned around to face a baffled Shikamaru.

"Who the hell are you and what happened to Uchiha Sasuke?" the Nara asked him with awe on his voice.

Sasuke rolled his eyes up, and smirked at Naruto. "How about you explain it all to them while I go see if Taro-sama needs me?" he said, and picked up the sack of chakra batteries from the blond. "By the way, boil us some bath water while you're at it, waifu", he whispered in Naruto's ear, before turning away and making his way up to the small temple.

Naruto's mouth went open and his eyes glazed over as he blushed furiously. "Wha… wha…" he sputtered, and fumed in anger. "What the hell teme, you can't just order me around like that!" he yelled, and both Shikamaru and Sai gaped even more when Sasuke turned around and playfully showed his tongue at him.

Naruto started after him, but was cornered by his team mates.

"Ok, I am officially scared now", Sai said, and crossed his arms. "So you better explain what the fuck is going on, since it appears you know. Starting with that", he pointed at the retreating Uchiha with his thumb.

Shikamaru nodded, and Naruto huffed in defeat.

"Well… it's kind of a long story…" he started.

* * *

><p>"Why didn't you ever tell us this before?" Sai asked in a hurt tone, as Naruto finished explaining the events that had taken place back from his and Sasuke's last fight.<p>

The three ninjas were now helping with cleaning and fixing up all that could be repaired in the southern village, having been recruited as soon as the first adult sighted them. The villagers who had been ninja before helped with building provisory earthen huts, to be held up with chakra batteries, and Naruto's clones had been sent around the island to gather thatch for roofing.

Shikamaru had nearly convulsed in glee when the Watanabe and Yamamoto elders had explained how the contraptions worked, and was shocked to know the devices had been banned from use. After being acquainted with the histories of the ninja that had defected and moved to the island, he had grudgingly accepted that Naruto had done the right thing by not letting them contact Kakashi right away.

"Yeah, you could have prevented a lot of trouble, let alone not have had knocked me out, dumb ass", he chided the blond.

"How the hell could I tell you what was going on? Shit, I wasn't even sure of what was happening, all I had was dreams… and Sakura-chan said that's all they were, because gods didn't exist and stuff. You'd only think I was crazy", Naruto complained, huffing.

"Well, er, you have to agree with me that it's kind of hard to believe the old gods actually exist", Shikamaru mumbled. "It's troublesome enough to come to terms with all that happened in the war, not to mention the old religion was all but wiped out way before any of us were born. But regardless of that, you are our friend, and you were suffering. You didn't have to hide that from us."

Naruto sighed, and sat down on a tree stump. "I had finally gained your respect; I didn't want you to reject me all over again. It was all I had, and I tried so hard for it to be enough, you know? And there was always this fear that if people knew, even you, it could be used against the bastard, and shit… I know we were apart but I couldn't live if he was caught. I knew we'd probably never see each other again because of all he did, but knowing he was alive was more important than anything", he said, "And it's not like I'm the only person that lives like that, hiding who they are", he raised a hand, "and no, I won't tell you who else. I owe them the same trust they gave me."

Shikamaru thought for a while, and then nodded. "I won't pretend to know what it's like to need to do that, Naruto. I never had to go through anything like that. But I would be honored if you still considered me your friend even after telling me all this. And, after hearing it all, and seeing this place… and what happened to Sasuke… shit, if anyone ever told me Uchiha _fucking_ Sasuke would turn into a decent person, let alone become a monk… holy crap it boggles the mind", he said, and burst into laughter. "_Uchiha_ fucking _Sasuke_ playing with kids and being all comfortable with a bunch of people, treating them like family", Shikamaru shook his head. "My arm is all purple from me pinching myself to make sure I'm awake."

"You forgot about the daimyo from the five elemental nations helping old ladies make lunch and wash clothes", Sai added, and started laughing. "I haven't ever seen anything as funny as this, I swear, we should put those old ladies in charge of the ninja villages, they're stricter than Tsunade", he said.

Naruto laughed along with them, until a hand poked his back.

"Enough work for today, boys, there's enough huts for most of the people to come back home. Thank you so much, by the way", Haruka called out, and bowed to them.

"Haruka-san", the blond greeted her, and smiled. "How's everything up at the temple? Is Mitiro-sama better?"

"Yes, it took a pile of coconuts", Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at that but left his questions for later, and she continued, "but my little ball of fire is up, about and raising hell as usual", she smiled. "We have put out futons for your friends and the daimyo to sleep at the temple, it's not much but it's our best. There is also clean water for you to bathe. Oh, and", she gave Naruto a curious look; "Would you tell me your parents' names? So I can put you down in the record scrolls", she explained.

"Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina… what scrolls?" Naruto asked with a confused look, as they followed her, the other ninja noticing on her civilian clothing.

"The Uzumaki clan's records", she said, "My branch of the clan was responsible to keep them, and I brought them with me when I came to the island. I've kept them to date until then", she explained, and Naruto froze.

"Wait… you have records on all the Uzumaki?" he asked in awe.

She grinned at him. "All of the Uzumaki alive, except those that were hidden for some reason. Your mother's name isn't in the records; probably because the Leaf kept that information from civilian records… it would have been the same with me, if I hadn't been entrusted with the clan's documentation, because I was a ninja myself. Most of us aren't, and many adopted other names to hide from the ninja villages. I did that, same as Nagato's parents, who were distant cousins", she explained further. "There are quite a few of us left, though, and I keep in contact with many of them."

"Would you show them to me?" the blond asked.

"Of course! Um, tomorrow, though. You must all be exhausted", she said, and the ninja nodded.

They talked about various subjects until they reached the temple, and thanked Haruka profusely when she pointed them to the communal bath, already knowing the amount of work it took to procure enough safe water for bathing.

Afterwards they found the clerics in one of the rooms, eating and squabbling over whose village would be fixed up next. They made way for them, and Naruto was about to ask where Sasuke was as he entered the room, when he was suddenly pulled back out.

"The hell?" he started, and went red as loud catcalls and whistles came from inside the room, as the Uchiha started pulling him away. "Why are you taking me away from the food? I worked all day, you asshole!" he complained.

"There's food with me, stop complaining", Sasuke said, and jumped to the trees. Naruto followed, grumbling and swearing as they left the village, heading north. At least, he thought, Sasuke had let him bathe and change first. The Uchiha had also recently washed up, and was now wearing a pair of pants and a tunic, along with his prayer beads and a large satchel hanging from a shoulder. His damp hair shone under the orange light of the setting sun.

Half an hour later, they stopped in front of a tiny hut halfway up the tallest mountain.

Naruto looked around, and stopped speechless at the view of the island below.

"Holy shit, you complained so much about this place, I never thought this view could be so beautiful!" he exclaimed.

"Hn", Sasuke snorted, hugging him from behind. "Say that again when your back starts complaining in the middle of the night", he said, and nuzzled Naruto's nape.

"Ah!" Naruto yelled, and ran inside. Sasuke followed him with a scowl on his face, ready to kick him for ruining the mood, but stopped at seeing him furiously blowing into a strange contraption.

"What the fuck is that, usuratonkachi?" he asked, and Naruto held his hand up to him, while blowing into the thing. Sasuke shrugged and pulled a couple of bowls and spoons from a small chest, and set a blanket on the floor for them to eat from the bento he had brought with them. He raised his head and his eyes widened as he saw the thing taking shape.

"Good gods, is that a -" he started.

"Inflatable mattress, yup!" Naruto interrupted him, grinning, as he finished setting it up, putting a soft blanket at its foot. He stood up and wiped his hands, and was turning around when Sasuke tackled him.

"Where did you find this heavenly invention, usuratonkachi?" he asked, rolling around and making appreciative noises while the Jinchuuriki laughed at him.

"Lightning", Naruto explained later, after they had eaten. "When Kakashi found out they used these he made them standard issue for Leaf ninja. Best thing since cup ramen, huh?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows, and snickered when Sasuke stretched over the mattress, purring in contentment. "Good thing I have it, too, since you took me away from that comfortable temple all the way up here", he stated with a pout.

"Can't do this in the temple, though", Sasuke said, and pulled the blond down over him.

Naruto held himself up with his arms and looked down in wonder at the man under his body, taking in his mussed up, still damp blue-black hair, his flushed skin, the warm, happy look in his eyes, a couple of tiny freckles on his nose, the way his lower lip stuck out the smallest bit from his smirk.

"If this is another dream", he said, blinking, "I hope I die in my sleep."

Sasuke held his face in his hands. "No more dreams", he said, and kissed Naruto's forehead. "No more dying", he said, and kissed his eyes. "No more pain", he said, and kissed his nose. "Only us", he said, and captured his lips with his open mouth.

Naruto moaned into the kiss, and dug his fingers into Sasuke's hair, putting his own weight on his elbows and moving between the man's legs as he played with his tongue, sucking and nibbling on it, then sucking it deep into his mouth.

He shivered as he felt a hand sneak between them and pull his jacket zipper down, then sneak under his shirt while teeth scraped his lips, and then

"Ow!" he yelped, looking down.

"What's this?" Sasuke asked, and pulled again. "Mmmmm… this is different from what I remember about you", he said, licking his lips and tugging on Naruto's jacket with one hand, while pushing his t-shirt up at the same time with the other.

"Well, duh, how long has it been since you last saw me shirtless?" Naruto complained, and took them off.

Sasuke gave an appreciative hum as he slid his hands up his chest, feeling the light hairs dotting it. He then slid his hands down, and played with the hairs in his happy trail. "Too long, it seems", he said, and pushed his hips up, earning a gruff groan from the blond. "I didn't feel these in the dreams, either", he said, and slid his hands over his hips, pulling him closer.

"Mnnnngh… well, now that you said it, you don't look that much taller than me anymore, teme", Naruto said, and ground down on him.

"Che, I'm still taller than you, though", Sasuke said mockingly, moaning when Naruto pulled his lower lip with his teeth.

"Big deal, I'm heavier", Naruto breathed out, pushing Sasuke's tunic up over his head and diving in to nip on his earlobe, and then to suck on his neck right under his ear.

"Mmmmnphhhh yeah… heavy", Sasuke moaned, and touched his hair. "I like heavy…" he said breathlessly, "your hair, not so much", he moaned as he tried to pull on it. "Too damn short", he added.

Naruto snickered, and let his lips travel down the Uchiha's neck, peppering it with kisses and licks. "Yeah, yeah, second time you complain about this, I get it", he said, and groaned into his neck when Sasuke viciously pulled on one of his nipples. "Oh gods, if you do that again I swear I'll come in my pants", he panted, raising his head to look straight into fathomless black eyes.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Never thought you'd be so turned on if I hurt you, better be careful with that, Naruto", he said in a deep, husky voice. "Lose those pants now, because I am _not_ doing your washing", he added in a more playful tone.

Naruto rose to his knees and started undoing his pants, scowling down at him. "What kind of a wife is that, refusing to do his man's laundry?" he taunted, and started pushing his pants and boxers down, letting out a yell of pain, pleasure and surprise when Sasuke suddenly sat up and bit down on his hipbone.

"The kind that's not a woman, dead last", Sasuke growled, looking up at him in defiance, before swallowing his cock as far down as he could.

"Ah, fuck!" Naruto moaned, throwing his head up and nearly falling on his back, if not for the strong hands holding him up by the waist. "Oh gods, Sasuke!" he groaned as the man sucked his way up, letting go of his dick with a smack of his lips.

"Hmmmm", the Uchiha studied the erection in front of him, gauging it to be somewhat about his own size, but thicker. He pulled the skin, exposing the head, and then gave it an experimental pump, giving out another appreciative hum as a bead of pre-cum gathered at the tip.

"Haahhh… like what you see, bastard?" Naruto asked, and his breath hitched at the lustful gaze Sasuke met his with, before slowly licking the bead of moisture and taking his cock in his mouth, his eyes locked onto his.

Naruto's legs wobbled again, and Sasuke let go so he could lie on his back, panting. He hardly felt it as his pants and boxers were yanked out, but gave a loud, long moan as he felt teeth nipping their sinful way up his inner thigh.

"Gods, teme… I really hope… haaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhmmnnnn" he groaned loudly as Sasuke began exploring his swollen balls, "you know how to top… holy shit!" he cursed, spreading his legs open, as he felt the brunet forcefully suck on one of them, " 'cause I'm this close to… nngh… coming my brains out", he panted.

Sasuke crawled his way up the blond, nipping and sucking on tan skin. "Oh really? What makes you think you're going to enjoy bottoming?" he asked, and suddenly went serious. "Been experimenting around, have you?" he growled.

Naruto laughed breathlessly, "You know, for someone so smart you can be remarkably stupid sometimes", he said playfully, and caressed Sasuke's pouting lower lip with his thumb. "I just… don't want you to get hurt, you know. I mean… I never did it, but I read about it, and supposedly it can hurt a lot the first time and… well, I do heal fast", he mumbled, blushing. "What?" he huffed indignantly, as Sasuke gave him a smug grin.

"Always willing to sacrifice yourself for me, huh?" the Uchiha said, getting up, moving to where his satchel sat on the ground, retrieving something from it.

"I don't think you'll suffer much, though", he said, holding a medium-sized glass jar. "Haruka-san swears on this, and by the color on Mitiro-sama's face when I asked about it, it must work wonders", he said.

"What's that?" Naruto looked curiously at it, holding himself up by his elbows, as the brunet opened the top and smelled it, nodding, while straddling him.

"Mitiro-sama's "Miracle Balm", Haruka-san called it. They gave it to us as, er", he started, and cleared his throat, "a wedding gift", he mumbled, blushing and looking away, but Naruto pulled him by his arm, and he toppled over the blond.

"Well", Naruto whispered on his ear, "we had _five daimyo_ as witnesses to the gods marrying us, it seems just about official enough for me to think you shouldn't be embarrassed of us getting a wedding gift", and he chuckled as Sasuke shuddered when he licked the outer shell of his ear, "so how about you try it out on me?" he asked in a lusty voice, before latching his mouth on a pale neck, grabbing hold of the brunet's ass and pushing it down to press on his groin. "Mmmmnngh, better take those pants off first, though, because I", he tugged on the hem of Sasuke's pants, "am not doing your laundry, teme."

Sasuke smirked, and began squirming out of his pants without getting off the blond, who began huffing and panting with all the friction. "Oh gods, this is so not… nnngh fair, you asshole", Naruto moaned, and pushed Sasuke's pants the rest of the way down with his feet.

"Hn", Sasuke said, licking down a tan throat, "I never", he nibbled on a tasty-looking collarbone, "claimed", he licked his way down to a dusky nipple, "to be fair", and with that he bit on it and pulled the flesh with his teeth.

"Fuck!" Naruto shouted, his eyes rolling up in his head as the pleasure mixed with pain jolted from his chest to his groin, burning through his body and making him spill a sizeable trickle of pre-cum. Sasuke let the nipple slide slowly, first from his teeth, then from his lips, and licked on it, continuing to make his way down the tanned torso with measured bites, licks and harsh sucks, while he smeared two of his fingers in the balm, pulling a dollop of it out of the jar.

Naruto raised his head when he felt a hand pushing his right leg up, and shuddered when his eyes locked with burning black ones, as Sasuke licked his belly. "Hu-hurry up, Sas-Sasuke..." he whined, and trembled again when he felt a slick finger touching his sensitive hole briefly, before breaching it in one, sleek movement.

Naruto braced himself for the pain, and widened his eyes at its complete absence.

"Hurt much?" Sasuke asked, pushing a second finger in and starting to massage his inner walls, spreading the balm as he had been previously instructed to.

"Hmmmm no… no pain at all", Naruto panted. "Just warmth… oh!" he cried out, and pushed himself down on Sasuke's fingers. "Holy ramen!" he whispered in shocked pleasure.

Sasuke smirked, and smeared more of the slippery balm on his cock before positioning himself. 'Moment of truth now' he thought to himself, hoping like hell the effect was exactly what he had been told it would be, and thrust in to the hilt, aiming for the same raised spot he had felt inside the blond with his fingers.

Naruto's legs went up, hugging his waist at once, and Sasuke grunted as his cock was nearly crushed with the pressure. "Naruto, relax, damn it… ngh", he groaned.

"Mmmmmmnnnnnnghhhh", the Jinchuuriki moaned as he forced himself to relax, only to clench again. "Shi-hit… gods, how the fuck can you all be poor when you make _this_?" he growled.

"Haah… that good, then?" Sasuke asked when Naruto was able to control his inner muscles again, starting to move in slow thrusts.

"Ooh yeah", the blond moaned, writhing under him to try to match his thrusts, "go-ods, people would buy this by the barrel", he panted. "Go faster", he pleaded.

Sasuke complied, watching as Naruto quickly came undone under him, panting and moaning and cursing while milking him for all he was worth, only to get hard again almost immediately after and begin to convulsively clench around him again, until Sasuke came with a drawn-out moan and collapsed on his chest, huffing.

He didn't even think to protest when the blond turned them around.

"Your turn", Naruto panted, straddling him, and looked down appreciatively at his cum-covered chest. "Gotta mark my territory first, though", he said, and spread his essence all over the panting brunet under him.

"Possessive much?" Sasuke asked with a smirk, and sighed in contentment as Naruto's hands massaged his body.

"Hell yeah, better start getting used to it", Naruto answered, and bent down to kiss him again, before stretching his arm out to stick his fingers in the jar, pulling out a slightly larger amount of the balm than Sasuke had before, and pushing the Uchiha's legs up.

"Mmmmmmnnnn… what's the hurry usuratonkachi_iiIGHHH_! OH GODS!" Sasuke screamed, as something he could only describe as an arrow of pleasure shot up straight from his rectum up his spine, making him arc his body and nearly bite his own tongue off.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Whoa, it was damn good for me too, but", he started, slowing his fingers' thrusting for a second, only to be dragged up by his hair until he was face to face with the bastard.

"More!" the Uchiha gritted through his teeth, "Now!" he demanded, and Naruto literally drooled at the expression of animal lust in his face, while he hurriedly aligned his cock and slowly began to push in.

Sasuke made a guttural noise as he felt Naruto's erection begin to breach him, and, bracing his feet on the mattress, forcibly impaled himself on his shaft, pulling the blond in by the ass cheeks and screaming out as white-hot pleasure seared up his spine with every clenching spasm.

"Oh fuck… oh fuck… oh fuck…" Naruto chanted as Sasuke nearly chewed his dick raw with his inner muscles. He was going cross-eyed with the tight, crushing, delicious _pressure_, and felt he wouldn't even get to move before coming, no matter how hard he held back, it was _that_ good. In a desperate attempt to avert his impending orgasm, he snuck a hand down and pressed hard at the base of his cock, hoping like hell all those yaoi books Konohamaru had made him read were right.

A whole two minutes passed like this, before Sasuke regained a bit of his senses. "Mo-mo-move, usura… tonkachi…" he huffed, relaxing his death-grip on Naruto's ass cheeks, and forcibly turning them around after the Jinchuuriki hesitated.

"Te-teme…" Naruto started, but gave up on coherent speech as Sasuke impaled himself again on his dick, and started rolling his hips. "Haaaaaaaah fuck… damn… so hot… mngh…" he moaned, grabbing Sasuke's ass and thrusting up as he came down.

"So good… oh fuck, so… fucking… good", Sasuke groaned after an incalculable measure of time of pushing down with all his might and clenching as he slowly pulled up, "Need… deeper… nnnnngh… more!" he groaned loudly, his head thrown back, beads of sweat rolling down his chest.

In Naruto's cloudy mind, a hasty prayer begging Sasuke not to beat the shit out of him afterwards passed by, and afterwards he quickly pulled himself up and threw the Uchiha down on the matress on all fours, thrusting back in as hard as he could.

"Oh gods", Naruto moaned, as Sasuke began rolling his hips and pushing back, matching every thrust, while roaring in pleasure like a wild tiger. Naruto thrust as fast, as deep and as hard as he could to keep his Uchiha beast satisfied, since if he tried to change pace, he heard a dangerous-sounding growl from under him.

It was the hottest scary thing Naruto had ever experienced in his life, and when Sasuke turned his head back to look at him, he unconsciously changed the angle of his thrusts.

The brunet began _howling_ in pleasure, as Naruto hit his prostate dead on over, and over, and over. "Hahh… Naruto… nnnnnghhh let me turn around, usuratonkachi… I want to see your face when we come", Sasuke pleaded after a few minutes of this, shuddering, and Naruto helped him lay on his back, moving the long bangs off his face.

"I love you so fucking much, teme", Naruto whispered, before kissing him.

"Show me", Sasuke breathed out when their lips parted, and Naruto thrust into him again and again, between kisses and moans, their bodies pressed tight together as if trying to fuse to each other.

"Yes… oh fuck, yes, yes, yes", Sasuke whimpered, before giving out a deep, guttural roar as he came, the strong, merciless spasms of his inner muscles driving the blond over the edge into a mind-blowing orgasm.

They lay in a tangle of limbs, shuddering quietly in the afterglow for long minutes afterwards, and then grudgingly Naruto moved to lie beside Sasuke in the mattress.

"I really… really hope you enjoyed topping, usuratonkachi", Sasuke breathed out after he found his voice back, "because that's what you'll be doing from now on", he decreed, turning on his side and throwing an arm and a leg over Naruto's still breathless body.

"Teme… you think you're gonna make me do all the work all the time? No, sir", Naruto panted, and Sasuke snorted.

"Naruto… I care _so_ much about what you want right now, you have no idea", he whispered in a sarcastic tone, snuggling against the blond.

"You sniveling, pretentious, self-serving bastard!" Naruto said, chuckling, and got a soft snore in response. He then turned sideways to embrace the sleeping brunet, pulling up the blanket over them.

* * *

><p>Naruto woke up to the sound of crackling fire. He looked around in confusion, until he saw the light coming from outside through the mat that served as a door to the hut.<p>

He put his pants on and went outside, to see Sasuke sitting crosslegged by the fire, also shirtless, with Naruto's backpack beside him.

"Hey", Naruto greeted, sitting behind and embracing him.

"Hn", Sasuke greeted, with his head down. "I wanted to see if you had a flashlight on your pack", he said. "You didn't, so I started a fire. Sorry for waking you up."

Naruto looked over his shoulder to see what the man was holding. "It's funny how things turn out to be, isn't it?" he asked, watching Sasuke's hands trail over his old headband. "I kept that with me all these years thinking of giving it back to you, hoping you'd go back to being a Konoha ninja again… and now I can't be a Konoha ninja anymore", he said, and sighed.

"Naruto… even if you could, I couldn't go back there. When we were kids, team seven did become something of a family to me… but it did because of you, not so much because of Kakashi and Sakura. You were always what kept me there", Sasuke explained. "Ever since I met you for the first time… when I saw that you were alone, like me, I identified with you, and wanted to talk to you", he said, and Naruto's eyes widened in realization, "I felt a longing for you, first because you were like me, and I was lonely, then because I admired your resilience, your stubbornness in seeking to forge bonds even if you were shunned, and in growing better, stronger."

"When I left, I left because I honestly thought I was weaker than you, that you had surpassed me, and that scared me. I had to seek Itachi, and I had to kill him myself, but I was falling behind, and that made me believe I was too weak. Too weak to kill him, and too weak to protect you from him. That feeling of helplessness nearly drove me insane, and that is why – along with the bloodlust from the cursed seal – I tried killing you at our first fight at the Valley of the End", he continued, with a calm voice. "Back then I really saw you only as my friend, my one and only friend. It was only after I killed Itachi and Danzo that I realized that my feelings went further… because when you said you'd die with me, I felt… happy, in a sense, but also horribly, deeply sad. It was the first time I realized my revenge, my life… meant nothing if you weren't by my side", he stated, and Naruto hugged him closer. "But even knowing that, what the village did to my family was too much for me to bear. What they did to Itachi… even when he came back as Edo Tensei and explained his reasons to me, it just hurt so much… so much, Naruto. It broke me inside all over again to realize that Konoha thrived in a system were no one had the right to live, where lives were so cheap, compared to maintaining the status quo, that even my own brother believed that to kill his entire clan was a better solution than any other."

"And afterwards, when I talked to the four Hokages, when they gave me their reasonings… I realized that there was no way to make a difference unless it was through my own sacrifice, because the system had no real, clear rules. Sarutobi allowed what happened to my clan because he trusted his advisers, which he had chosen, but neither he nor his advisers had any limitation to their power, and Sarutobi placed his trust blindly on them, only based in the fact they were his original team. Such is the weakness of the shinobi system", he said, "And because I had been raised in that system, the only way out I saw where peace could truly thrive was to break my only remaining bond and become a unified threat to all."

"But of course", he started again after a minute of silence, "my body moved on its own, and I couldn't, wouldn't kill you. So I ran away, away from you, my love, my weakness, my strength, and from everything I knew. I ran because even though I trusted you, I could never go back to Konoha. I couldn't find my peace there, with all those people who represented everything that killed my clan and nearly ripped my mind apart. Staying would have driven me to madness again, not helped me. Do you understand that, Naruto?" he asked, and turned his head to look at him.

"Yeah. I didn't for a long, long time; you can call me stupid for that. But after you put me under that genjutsu I… it was like this huge can of worms opened, and showed me how alone I truly was, and all the constraints I had put on myself to fit into what people wanted from me. I think that was what made me understand. When I told Kakashi I wouldn't run after you, after he and Sakura woke me up, Kakashi welcomed me into adulthood, you know", and here Sasuke snorted, "and I realized then that for the first time I had seen the village and what belonging to Konoha meant in an adult way. Before, Konoha was just my home, my childhood goal more than anything. After that, I began to realize that no matter how much I loved my friends, no matter how comfortable I felt there, it wasn't truly what I could call my home, because of all I had to give up in order to fit into what everyone expected of me."

"All I wanted was to be able to be with you, and enjoy the company of our friends, run cool missions again, and eat some ramen in peace. I never actually stopped to think what would be necessary to make things work, I honestly thought that if people only got along peace would happen naturally", he said.

"Yeah, you were never the sharpest knife in the drawer", Sasuke interjected, and Naruto huffed in mock anger.

"Laugh as much as you want, bastard, but it's true. I never thought about what true peace would mean to ninjas… the changes that it would bring, and least of all what it meant to be as powerful as I – and you – are in a world where the different hidden villages actually tried not to wage war against each other. When Kakashi said the assembled Kage had decided I couldn't belong to Konoha – to anywhere – anymore, it fucking broke my heart. It was as if all the suffering I went through to just try and help everyone be happy came to bite me in the ass, ya know?" he asked.

Sasuke nodded. "That is why I asked Taro-sama to take me as his apprentice. I was feeling exactly like that, as if someone had taken the ground from under my feet, when I met him. The good part of it was that, since I had nothing else to lose, since I had hit rock bottom, the only possible way to go was up. And so I allowed this place, and its people, to heal me by making me work for them, learn from them, become one of them. Haruka-san said that the biggest rule in this island is that whatever happens in the continent, stays in the continent. I think that is what makes this place truly powerful… it gives the opportunity for people who can't stand the shinobi system to start over with a clean slate. Sure, it's a hard place to live, and there are many more rules to comply with than in the continent: people have rights, those rights must be acknowledged, ninja who move here must give up using their abilities for the most part, and trust me when I say to you that if you use your abilities for your own benefit you'll regret it, last time a person tried to take power over the villages using chakra they ran off with their tail between their legs… but even so, peace is something that actually_ works _here", he finished.

They sat quietly for a few minutes after that, listening to the early spring cicadas, and then Naruto raised his head. "Oh! Damn, I almost forgot", he said, reaching for his backpack and turning it upside down next to them.

"Hmm?" Sasuke asked, watching intently as Naruto pulled on the bottom of his backpack, and retrieved something from it. "Why would you put a false bottom on your… oh!" he exclaimed, and gave Naruto a genuine smile.

"Yeah… I knew this mission might be long, so I brought it with me", Naruto said sheepishly, and made as if to give Sasuke the purple rope, but pulled away as he tried to reach for it.

"My shimenawa!" Sasuke yelled, and tackled him. Naruto pushed him away and stood up with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"How much do you want this, teme?" Naruto taunted.

"Enough to beat you up all over again, dead last", Sasuke growled in mock anger.

"Just regular taijutsu, no weapons, no chakra", Naruto said, shoving the rope on the back of his pants, and Sasuke nodded, assuming battle stance.

They sparred for over half an hour, taunting, laughing and screaming, until Naruto, in a lucky move, dropped Sasuke on his back and straddled him.

"Yield!" Naruto demanded, and Sasuke scowled at him. Naruto narrowed his eyes, and ground his hips down, making the Uchiha give out an angry moan.

"Yield, teme…" he repeated, grinding down again and keeping a strong hold on his wrists.

"You piece of shit, are you seriously trying to win by making me horny?" Sasuke growled, and Naruto bent down to suck on a pink nipple.

"Anything goes on love and war, bastard", he said, and wriggled his hips against Sasuke's, noticing the brunet's erection and raising his head to grin at him. "And I know you want me inside you again… hot, hard…" he whispered, grinding down again as he moved up, licking all the way to a pale neck, "rubbing and pressing all the right places", he moaned, and sucked on Sasuke's pulse.

"This is _so_ unfair, nnnghh", Sasuke groaned, and Naruto snickered. The bastard having decreed to desire bottoming earlier was something he'd definitely enjoy exploiting.

"I never", Naruto started rolling his hips sensuously, "claimed to be fair, teme", he whispered on Sasuke's ear, licking right under it.

Sasuke pursed his lips to contain a loud moan. Damn the usuratonkachi to all hells, two rounds of sex and he already knew all his weak spots, even his ass was tingling with need!

"Come on Sasuke", Naruto continued in a husky voice, "you know you want it… you want me to push your back against the wall… throw your legs over my shoulder… and fuck you hard, and hot, and deep… into the wall…" he said, pointing out each statement with a hard thrust against the hard erection under him.

"Damn it… fine, I yield, I yield, you inconsiderate… sexy… nnnnnghhhh", Sasuke panted in defeat.

Naruto snickered again, and sat up, raising both arms in victory. "I win! I win!" he chanted, and moved aside, quickly turning his panting, blushing lover on his stomach, and tying his wrists together with the purple rope.

"Hey!" Sasuke complained, only to be thrown over Naruto's shoulder, and carried inside the hut.

"Shhhhhh", Naruto chided him as he pushed him against the wall, and started pushing down his pants, "I told you I'd fuck you into the wall, didn't I?" he asked, capturing his mouth in a searing kiss, before leaving him panting while he retrieved the balm jar.

"Nghhh!" Sasuke moaned, as he felt two fingers breaching him. Naruto made an appreciative noise at the wetness still inside him. "Damn", he breathed.

"Will you quit your damn fingering and fuck me already? I'm not a piano, you goit", Sasuke groaned, clenching against his fingers.

Naruto laughed, and withdrew his fingers. "My my, aren't we in a hurry", he taunted, and nuzzled the Uchiha's scowling face as he felt him brace his legs around his waist.

Sasuke wriggled his ass against Naruto's erection, and the blond laughed again. "Less laughing, more fucking, idiot", Sasuke complained, and Naruto smiled, holding his hips in place and thrusting in as hard as he could.

"Yes! Nnnngh rip me up, usuratonkachi!" Sasuke screamed.

Naruto pressed his body against his, unmindful of his tied wrists scraping on the rough earthen wall. "Say it", he panted, as he relentlessly drove into him, "say how much you want me… how much you love me… what I mean to you"

"Haaahhhh… I want you so much, you damn, stupid, lazy-brained idiot", Sasuke moaned, "I waited so long… nnnnnghhhh… for you to come", he said, tears welling in his eyes, "loving you every… fucking… day… without daring to hope", he groaned, his voice breaking at the end, "don't you ever dare leave me alone in the dark again, Naruto", he gasped, diving into a kiss, their tongues twirling before he grabbed hold of the blond's with his teeth and pulled it into his mouth, sucking it as hard and deep as he could.

"Never", Naruto whispered in his ear when they broke their kiss, "never let you go again", he promised, "can't run from me anymore, bastard", he completed, and sucked hard on his pulse, relishing the taste of his salty, sweating skin.

"I'll never run again", Sasuke promised back, "I won't… haaah… promise to follow you wherever you go", he panted, "but I'll never run from you", he gasped, "and so help me if you let anyone hurt you ever again, you son of a bitch, I'll drag you back here and tie you down naked for the rest of our fucking lives", he moaned, and Naruto chuckled as he sped up his thrusts and pressed even tighter against him.

"Be careful what you wish for, teme", the blond breathed, "I might just never come out of you", he said in a deep snarl, and bit down on the curve of his neck.

"Ah!" Sasuke cried out, and clenched against him, "don't provoke me, usuratonkachi, I'll glue my hole to your dick… oh gods, yes, mmmmmmnnnnnnnhhhhh", he moaned, and gave a strangled cry of completion as he came.

"Holy shit, nnnnghhh", Naruto moaned as he rode his own orgasm, thrusting madly, Sasuke's deep, wanton cries driving him insane with pleasure.

Afterwards he carried Sasuke to their mattress, untying his hands and peppering his scraped arms with apologetic kisses.

"Ouch. Use the balm, dumbass", Sasuke complained in an exhausted mewl, and Naruto spread a bit of it on his arms and shoulders with tender touches, the both of them soon falling asleep in each other's arms.


	20. The usefulness of Kage Bunshin

A/N: Yeah so the politics and other issues I'm wrapping up (all damn Kishimoto's fault for leaving ginormous plot holes in that unsatisfying ending and even crappier movie) mean this will extend for a while longer. I hope the solutions I'm coming up with are decent enough, please do NOT be afraid to criticize or point out if I miss something important as I wrap them up, ok?

As always, thank you all for your reviews, and for the people who haven't reviewed yet, PLEASE DO, I swear I don't bite, you can ask the reviewers - I do answer all reviews, btw, it only doesn't show on the review page cause ffnet sends the answers as PMs (unless the reviewer isn't logged in, then I answer the reviews in these ANs). Btw, **Shane**, yeah, honeymoon phase, the good thing about ninjas is that they can eat their cake and keep it, too, lol (you'll see how in this chapter).

And now, for something completely different:

* * *

><p>Sasuke woke up again at dawn, to the sound of running little feet and giddy yelps from outside the hut.<p>

He untangled himself from the sleeping blond, and pulled on his pants before going out.

In front of the hut was a large cloth-covered basket, with a note pinned on it. He carried it in, and read it while inspecting the contents.

_'Good morning, lovebirds_

_Inside you'll find your robes, Nanigashi-sama, and food for two days. We will be holding a meeting at the central village to talk to the assembled daimyo in a couple of hours, so if you and Naruto-san could kindly send us your clones to take part in it, it would be most helpful. Yamamoto baa-chan has made you a couple of small batteries so your clones won't be accidentally dispelled due to any strenuous activity on your part (wink, wink, nudge, nude). _

_Please tell Naruto-san that his colleagues are fine, and that Sai-san has sent information to the Kage that the daimyo are alive, well, and will be returning as soon as their conference is over._

_ Taro-sama asks only that you do not destroy the hut in the throes of passion (uh, and I should be finishing this now, Mitiro has started whopping him around again), and to remember treating all water before drinking. _

_Have a pleasant time,_

_Haruka'_

Sasuke blushed at the thought of his master's comments, but let the embarrassment aside in favor of picking up the chakra batteries. They were indeed small, fist-sized, and blank. Attached to them were equally blank scraps of scroll paper.

He fished out the food supplies and started cooking some oatmeal after lighting the fire outside. There was, besides the oats and the ubiquitous taro roots, a half pint of cream and a few eggs in the basket, along with a pouch of sea salt, a small jar of honey, a few smoked fish and a bowl of dried berries. A true feast, by island standards.

He added some of the cream and a few of the berries to the oatmeal, and heard a rustle.

"Mmmmmmmm… food, dattebayo!" Naruto sang, shuffling his way. Sasuke handed him the water pot, and pointed to the direction of the stream. "Go get us some more water, and don't drink it before it's treated", he ordered.

"Good morning to you too", Naruto scowled, and kissed him on the cheek. "Is there anywhere safe to bathe around here?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, there's a waterfall higher up in the mountain where the water hasn't been touched by anyone who got sick in the epidemic", Sasuke commented. "We'll go there after we eat, now hurry up, the food is almost done."

Naruto moved in the appointed direction, finding a narrow creek after a few minutes of walking.

He came back to find Sasuke holding his robes in one hand, and his jacket in the other.

"Put the water to boil and get your jacket on", the Uchiha said, throwing him a small chakra battery and his jacket.

"Shouldn't we bathe first?" he asked, catching the device.

"Shadow clones expend less chakra if they don't have to henge into clothing", Sasuke explained, slipping his robes on, and came close to him with a snide smirk and a wet cloth in his hands, which he started to wipe his chest with.

"Hey, how come I don't get to clean you up?" Naruto complained.

"I made breakfast, didn't I? Call this the cook's treat", Sasuke said, and licked on Naruto's left nipple. "Fine, let me show you how these work", he began explaining, after the blond had reluctantly closed his jacket.

After writing the shadow clone jutsu on the strip of paper, Sasuke quickly made the seals and set his hands on the chakra battery, which disappeared, leaving a perfect clone of his in its place.

"Wait a minute, _you_ know how to make Kage Bunshin?"Naruto asked with a frown.

Sasuke deadpanned. "Naruto, Sharingan, Sharingan, Naruto", he introduced, pointing from his right eye to the blond and vice-versa. "Sharingan is a kekkei genkai that allows me to learn any jutsu just from looking at it, don't know if you remember that", he said ironically.

Naruto huffed. "Duh, I know what the Sharingan is, idiot! I asked because you never made any clones!" he grumbled.

"Never had to use such a primary technique", clone!Sasuke explained, as the original went back into the hut, pulling his robes off.

"Huh? Kage Bunshin is **_the_** best technique ever, you asshole!"Naruto yelled.

"Uh huh, now hurry up and do yours, dead last", Sasuke said when he came back, motioning for him to hurry up. Naruto copied what Sasuke had done and a clone of his own appeared, blowing a raspberry at Sasuke and his own clone, who were clearly unimpressed.

"Why are we here anyway?" clone!Naruto asked.

"There will be a meeting with the daymio and the islanders soon at Amaterasu no kamisama's temple, Haruka-san asked us to send them to participate. The chakra batteries are there to keep their chakra supply constant", Sasuke answered.

"Uh, why clones though?" Naruto asked in confusion, and both Sasukes gave him slow and positively lecherous smirks. "Er, uh, oooooh… holy crap, those chakra batteries are _awesome_!" the blond giggled as the clones left.

* * *

><p>Sai sat down at the front steps of the small temple with a bowl of barley porridge and a mug of miso soup, watching the daily activities before him.<p>

He and Shikamaru had talked to the clerics for long hours the previous evening, trying to make sense of what was going on – and especially what had happened to the last Uchiha.

To say he and Shikamaru had been shocked to see the change in the man was a euphemism. They were flabbergasted. Stupefied. And Naruto's explanation hadn't really helped a whole lot, considering the blond's dreams had started over a year after Sasuke's escape. The Leaf ninja simply couldn't wrap their minds around the Uchiha's recovery.

_The elder yamabushi, Taro, had given them a sad smile. _

_"Many traumatized ninja end up in this island, seeking for solace. And the main function of religion is to embrace and heal the spirit and the mind, so we are used to dealing with that", he had explained._

_"No no no. You are the ones who don't understand, the Uchiha are really screwed up, honestly, it's something in the Sharingan that drives them insane, we saw it. They have a tendency to turn evil, and Sasuke spent his whole life seeking violence, like, actively living only for revenge and hatred. That's why we can't understand what's going on, it's like… like this genjutsu we were all under, the Infinite Tsukuyomi, where everyone lived their perfect dream", Shikamaru had retorted. "It's… it just doesn't fit to see Uchiha Sasuke acting like… like… like normal people, you know?"_

_The flaming miko, Mitiro, snorted, and poured herself some tea before resting her back against her wife's bosom – and that had been another thing that boggled the ninjas' minds, this easy acceptance of a behavior that was taken as unnatural and wrong in practically the whole continent – and giving them a hard look. "Well, if this were some perfect dream version of reality, I'd definitely want to wake up and beat the living shit out of whoever cast it; in my perfect dream we ain't got no cholera, or tsunamis, or poverty, and I'm sure he'd never have included the Watanabe's cow if he cast such a genjutsu", she said ironically._

_"What you need to understand is that, in this island, when we say, "What happens in the continent stays in the continent", we do mean it", she continued. "We do not ask people who they were before, or what they did. Only what they do here and who they are here matters. And giving them a real clean slate to work with, in a peaceful environment, is the first step for recovering even the most severely injured hearts and minds. Healing those, though, is something that doesn't interest ninja, and much less the village and clan systems, because people who are healthy in heart and mind don't easily tolerate being pushed around."_

_"What will you propose to the daimyo, as a way to fix the current system? Surely they'll want to keep their privileged status", Sai asked._

_"They will, and they can keep it", another shugenja monk, a tall man with a horrible scar around his neck, called Hisashi, said. "What the gods ask of us is to show them the issues that the system brings, and that there are solutions to it, not to impose one or another on them. The best outcome would be that they leave and convene with their respective Kage to address the issues and build a better solution with their own country's people, all of them, not only the ninja, based in a list of minimum rights that everyone, anywhere, must have. It's pretty much what we have here. Each village here has its own traditions and laws: for example, in the northern village the families are ruled by the women, because the men spend long periods away herding goats up the mountains, and the families have each their own grazing grounds. In the eastern village all families share the land, and the produce is divided according to the amount of labor done. But in all villages the people have the same basic rights, to have a roof above their heads, and the opportunity to work, for example, and basic obligations, such as to not steal, or take advantage of each other, and to treat everyone as an equal. Those basic rights and obligations make it possible for the villages to dialogue and understand each other's problems, avoiding too much strife between neighbors, which in its turn avoids war."_

Sai munched his porridge and wondered seriously if such a simple strategy as giving rights to people could work as well in the nations as it worked on the island. People in Konoha, for example, had long been acquainted with obligations. However, rights were a nebulous concept that mostly varied within clans or organizations. In Root, Sai remembered, no one had set rights to anything. The rules that existed were created only to enforce obedience to the organization's orders, through set punishments or rewards.

As far as Sai could remember learning after leaving Root, the same system applied to most other communities, from their clans, passing through the Academy, all the way up the shinobi class system. You didn't have the "right" to live in your village. You had to live there because you had been born there; the village owned you. You also didn't have the right to, say, marry as you wish: some clans and smaller families allowed their children to choose their spouses, but usually the head of the original family or clan was obligated to arrange marriages for all its single or widowed members.

Which, of course, made dating a delicate matter to people with no family. Kakashi had explained to Sai once, when the ink-nin had been given being an orphan the reason for being rejected by a girl he had tried to date, that he himself had gone through that issue. All families were wary of marrying their children to people with unknown background, and ninja families took that to extremes, due to the development of their kekkei genkai.

Kakashi, for example, had the fact that his father had been a great ninja in his favor, but on the other hand, his father had disgraced his name by disobeying a direct order. That alone sullied Kakashi's future as a candidate for marriage until the copy-nin became Hokage and his value was restored by the rise in status.

Sai had no idea who he had been born of. He had no family records, so the possibility of him being accepted into one of the large ninja clans that possessed kekkei genkai was nil, since there was no way to be sure his own genetic makeup wouldn't simply overrun whatever genes defined a kekkei genkai, making his progeny useless for those clans. And though he had friends in high places after the war, he himself hadn't been interested in rejoining ANBU or taking on a team as a jounin instructor, so his possibilities of gaining high status were very limited – especially in times of peace.

In the end, Sai had given up dating altogether. Not that he had ever felt anything special for the girls he had tried to date, anyway. He just saw marriage as a way to have kids and thus a family of his own. If it wasn't possible due to his low value as a prospective spouse, then be it.

And then there was the other thing that happened on the island that confused Sai to no end. All the books he had read and all the people he had talked to had said that marriage was a contract between two people in order to make children and thus, have a family.

In the island, people of the same sex, like Mitiro-sama and Haruka-san, or like Naruto and Sasuke (whose status as a married couple had been accepted as quickly as people learned of it, and though no party had been arranged due to the condition of the villages, everyone they met the previous day had congratulated Naruto), could be married and adopt each other's family names if they wanted to. Sai could understand that in the miko's case, considering that miko were forbidden from marrying men because they should remain maidens for life and wouldn't ever have children anyways. It could even be understandable in Naruto's case, considering that the assembled Kage had decided that his eventual progeny might be too dangerous, and in Sasuke's, considering the known issues the Sharingan brought its carriers.

But that didn't explain why Haruka-san had agreed to marry Mitiro-sama, or why there were other (a few, less than ten in the whole island, but they existed) couples like that, formed by people who had no issues regarding reproduction.

He had asked Haruka-san about it, and the woman had told him that, in the island, people had accepted the idea of same-sex couples after she and Mitiro-sama had married; she said that not only she had enthusiastically agreed to Mitiro-sama's proposal, but she also had initiated their courtship; that they had married because they loved each other romantically and wanted to be recognized by everyone as a family; that since the gods had no issue against their marriage, other couples had appealed to their village elders and the clerics to have the right to do so; that the population had at first been afraid that everyone would stop marrying to have babies, but that because everyone had the right to talk in their village's assemblies, the people who wanted to marry asked the elders to run a census to know exactly how many people were interested in having a relationship with others of the same sex; and when the numbers were accounted for, the fears were dispelled as unfounded, due to the simple fact that not enough people in the island were queer for their lack of reproduction to make a difference, and all the villages accepted the marriages without further issue.

Also, within the first ten years since the first same-sex marriage the villages realized that the couples without children, not only of the same-sex but of different sexes but unable to breed were usually eager to adopt eventual orphans and abandoned children (of which the island had no shortage of, due to the harsh living conditions), so it all balanced out favorably in the end for everyone.

It all seemed incredibly simple to Sai, compared to Konoha's customs, but at the same time quite complicated; after all, he was used to a system of government where the different rulers of different organizations had absolute power and didn't really have to answer to anyone. The Hokage should theoretically answer to the Daimyo, but in reality that had never happened, just as clan leaders never actually had to answer for anything they did to their clansmen to anyone. Sai knew that that state of affairs led to political scheming and insecurity amongst the clans – it had for starters caused the destruction of the Uchiha clan by Danzou – but still, he wondered.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the sounds of loud bickering approaching the temple.

"Oh come _on_, teme, don't be such a complete asshole! It's not even as if it was the original!"

"I said _**NO**_, you gods damned idiot! Leave me alone!"

"Why? It's just _one_ clone!"

"Clone or not, I am _**NOT**_ going to Konoha!"

The last was shouted by a fuming Sasuke, as he started up the steps. Sai froze with the mug halfway to his lips, gaping, as the Uchiha stopped and gave him a quick bow along with a "Good morning", before stomping his way into the temple.

"Morning, Sai!" Naruto said, while jumping the steps and taking off his sandals to follow his angry spouse.

Shikamaru came out of the temple after greeting Naruto, stretching and sitting beside the ink-nin.

"Dude, you will not believe what I just saw", he said.

"If it was Uchiha Sasuke stopping to greet people politely even though he's pissed off, I saw it too", Sai said. "There's food in that tent", he pointed, "Miso and barley porridge. People said there's no rice and they're saving the taro mash for the kiddies, but there's some tofu in the miso and it's quite good", he completed.

"Thanks", Shikamaru said, and offered to take Sai's dishes as he went to get his own breakfast.

"I swear I feel like I'm in another planet", he said as he came back and sat down again.

"Give it up, Naruto!" Sasuke screamed, coming out of the foliage and stopping right behind the Leaf nin.

"_I NEVER GIVE UP_!" Naruto came after him, and Sasuke groaned, face palming.

"Will you two kindly help me reason with this insufferable idiot?"Sasuke asked them, and Shikamaru promptly choked on his miso.

After he had recovered, he asked the two former teammates what their problem was.

"Well, the thing is, I want the bastard to come with us back to Konoha when we go back, so Kakashi and Sakura-chan can see him again", Naruto started.

"Not in a million years", Sasuke growled.

Shikamaru got up and leaned on the banister. "Um, Naruto, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's so troublesome… but I have to side with Sasuke on this one, as soon as he puts his foot in Konoha he's dead meat, man", he said.

"No he's not, reason being he'll be sending a clone, not going himself, see?" Naruto reasoned.

"Clones can't be held together for so long, Naruto", Sai commented.

"Not unless they're powered by those chakra battery things, but we've been talking about it all the way down here and we're pretty sure they can hold us up for months, maybe even half a year if we don't have to fight. And they're even comfortable, can't even feel it", Naruto explained, poking his own chest.

Shikamaru and Sai shared a look.

"Wait, so you're both clones", Shikamaru stated, and the clones nodded. "Um, why exactly did you send clones to talk to the daimyo instead of coming down yourselves?" he asked.

"Yeah, and why would you use the batteries anyway?"Sai asked.

"Because we're _**busy**_" clone!Sasuke said in an irritated tone, and clone!Naruto enthusiastically nodded.

Shikamaru opened his mouth, but Sasuke interrupted him. "I seem to remember you being regarded as a genius, Nara, so I definitely hope you're _not_ thinking of asking what I think you're thinking of asking, because that would be _tremendously_ stupid", he said, and gave him a poignant look.

At that moment, Haruka-san came out of the temple and rang a bell that hung at the entrance, calling the people to the meeting. The four of them made their way inside, Sasuke and Naruto glaring at each other, silently continuing their previous argument.

At noon, when the meeting halted for lunch, Sai and Shikamaru were leaving the temple when they heard the sounds of heated arguing from a side room.

"No."

"Dude, come on, it's just a visit, it's not even like it's you YOU going, teme!"

"Like I care!"

"Look, the Council is gone, ok? There is no reason for you to avoid seeing them anymore, they are your friends too, you bastard!"

"Haven't you heard one fucking word of what I told the daimyo? Can't you see what Konoha means to me? It fucking hurts to think of it, Naruto. And seeing Kakashi and Sakura again? Why the fuck would I want that? For Sakura to slip back into her childish obsession with me and start harassing me yet again, this time breaking Kakashi's heart while she whines and cries because she "loves" me? Damn, Kakashi was totally useless in the war but I actually have some appreciation for my old sensei. And my old teammate, even if she has always acted like a doormat around me", he mumbled the last, looking down at his feet.

Naruto grinned wide at that. "Awwww, Uchiha Sasuke having more than contempt for women? That is so cute!" he giggled.

"I did have a woman in team Taka, dumbass. I do respect women, it's just that it's damn hard to treat them well when they behave like rabid fangirls", Sasuke muttered.

Shikamaru cleared his throat, and the clones looked at him.

"If I may intervene… Kakashi and Sakura seem to be stable enough to withstand seeing you again, Uchiha", he said. "And that's not the only reason you should send a clone, I mean, you saw what has been decided up to now. It would be fruitful to have you as witness and as an advisor for the transition process, while the ninja villages adapt to all the changes the Kage will have to implement, because you have been directly affected by the mistakes of the past the most, and at the same time you have been living here, so you know what the system that has inspired the daimyo is like the best. And besides that, you are living proof that the policies the daimyo saw implemented here actually _work_."

Naruto looked at Sasuke with a smug face, and crossed his arms.

Sasuke stood in thought for a few minutes, and then sighed in defeat.

"Fine. But I'll send _**one**_ clone, so I at least can have a break from looking at all the same faces every day", he relented, and Naruto cheered. "_And_ if Sakura's lip so much as _wobbles_ when she looks at me, the deal is off and I'll dispel", he warned with a scowl.

Naruto grabbed him by the robes and hugged him. "I knew you'd see the light eventually", he said, and pulled him close for a kiss, getting a knock on the head for it.

"What did I tell you when we were coming down the mountain? No PDA between clones, idiot!" Sasuke snarled. "On the other hand, it would be nice to see the guys again. Though I _am_ still going to boil Suigetsu", he muttered the last.

"Suigetsu is at Mist now, seems like they're reforming the Swordsmen as a personal guard for the daimyo there", Sai informed. "Karin started working in the Konoha hospital, and Juugo went to help Kabuto rebuild the orphanage where he lived before being coopted by Danzou."

"Orochimaru, as incredible as it may seem, when it became clear that he wouldn't be able to track your body, he decided to work on researching ways to undo harmful jutsu and genetic modifications", he continued. "Hinata told me she and Hiashi hired him to dismantle the curse marks from the Hyuuga branch family members, as a memento to Neji and his father".

Naruto's eyes widened. "I didn't know that! Holy crap I need to congratulate them!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Of course you didn't know that, you've been cooped up away from everyone for the last year", Shikamaru said, and sighed. "You both should know that despite what you may think, you did make an impression on people back home. Both of you. One of the reasons Kakashi is so invested in implementing social care for kids in Konoha is because of all the shit both of you went through growing up without families to rely on", he continued, "and after he got together with Sakura, she really changed a lot. She's finally gone beyond the weak selfish fangirl she was for most of her life, Sasuke."

"Hn."

"Well, you'll eventually see it", Sai said. "Ino said it's the power of the D, whatever that is."

Naruto gave Sasuke a lecherous look, and started laughing, while Sasuke deadpanned at him.

"I'll be damned, I could bet Naruto would be bottom", Shikamaru said, having correctly interpreted their interaction. "I mean, considering his legendary resistance to pain and all…" he amended with a lazy smirk.

"Damn, I almost forgot!" Naruto exclaimed, "Gotta go talk to Haruka-san about taking samples of that balm back home!" he said, and left hurriedly.

Shikamaru and Sai turned to Sasuke with inquisitive looks.

"Mitiro-sama makes this ointment that suppresses all kinds of pain signals", Sasuke explained. "Idiot's been raving over it, thinks it'll be the island's meal ticket out of poverty."

Shikamaru raised his eyes in thought, and then gave Sasuke a weird look. "Wait, doesn't it, er… impair sensitivity?" he asked, trying to look disinterested.

"Nope. Kind of enhances it, actually", Sasuke answered in a matching casual tone, looking away.

Shikamaru studied his nails in silence for a while, his ears progressively turning red. "Yeah, I think it's interesting, er", he said the last in a higher tone, and cleared his throat again. "So, um, yeah, er, I'll see how that negotiation is going, being the Hokage's adviser and all", he finished lamely, and left the room in a hurry.

"Seems Dickless is on to something", Sai commented, and the bell signaling the end of the lunch break sounded.


	21. Itachi's favor

**A/N**: So I made this list of events to write about to wrap up the story, and since there's quite a lot of stuff to fix so the ending is to my liking I'm going to have to throw in a few smexy lovey-dovey moments too, just so all the politics and stuff doesn't bore the hell out of everyone.

And because I really like how Naruto and Sasuke interact with each other. I mean, they spent SO long apart, they kinda deserve some waff too, right?

So yeah.

And now, for something much more interesting than author notes:

* * *

><p>Naruto snickered at the purrs and mewls coming from the man on his lap, as he scrubbed the inky locks on his head. Anyone but the Uchiha's teammates would probably see this behavior as outrageously out of character, but people who had actually had missions with the bastard knew how obsessive he was with his personal hygiene, and soap - let alone shampoo – was a luxury he hadn't indulged in years.<p>

Sasuke tilted his head and lay more comfortably on top of the blond, sighing contentedly. The waterfall stopped on a small pool before continuing down the mountain, and they were now blissfully enjoying a lazy bath under the early spring late afternoon sun, the cold water contrasting with the warm air. Sasuke thoroughly enjoyed this dryer time of the year, after the rainy, muddy winter and before the equally rainy, but stifling hot summer.

Naruto began combing his hair, slowly untangling the knots.

"You think the daimyo will really take charge this time?" he asked, and Sasuke sighed.

"They better, you'll be there to pester them if they don't, won't you?" he asked back.

"Hm. Yeah, sorta", Naruto said in a pensive tone. The apprentice monk turned his head to look at him quizzically. "I've been thinking of sending clones instead of going myself. I mean, I know eventually I'll want to go back to the continent and travel around sometimes, visit friends and stuff, but", Naruto said and rinsed the comb before throwing it at his backpack, "I want to help you guys rebuild here, after the daimyo are gone you'll still need tons of help. And besides, honestly, if I can't live in Konoha anymore, I'd rather be where you are. I've been thinking about stuff, and I wanna talk to those elder ninja later, they seem damn knowledgeable about seals. You think they can help me out with modifying the Hiraishin no Jutsu? I was wondering if there was a way to connect to the seal across long distances" he said. "I mean", he amended, giving Sasuke a worried look, "If you don't mind living with me, ya know, for good."

"Hn", Sasuke slipped forward and dipped underwater to rinse his hair. "Let me weigh the pros and cons of that", he said as he surfaced and slipped back onto Naruto's lap.

"Cons: you're loud, obnoxious, stubborn, clingy, nosy, a general pain in the ass, addicted to ramen," he counted on his fingers, "messy, clumsy, can't really do anything but fight and don't have useful labor skills, you get bored easily, talk too damn much, and knowing you're an attention whore, you'll probably spend most days nosing around with Taro-sama; and you're dumb as a doornail most of the time, not to mention you think menial work is beneath you", he continued, as Naruto either groaned, huffed, or outright cursed.

"Pros", he said, and tilted his head, apparently immersed in silent thought, for an entire minute.

"You asshole, stop that, I do have _some_ qualities!" Naruto squealed indignantly, pushing him and crossing his arms with a huff.

"Hn", Sasuke smirked. "You are actually able to think creatively, albeit very slowly", he easily dodged a punch at the last, "you aren't lazy, you like to help people, and you can work fast; you are also generous and honest, and you understand people; you're low maintenance, as long as you get enough food, and though you do get bored easily, when you find something that you see as a challenge you actually apply yourself to it", he said, counting on his fingers again, and looked sideways at the blonde, who was giving him a stunned look. "You are also kind, loyal, and because you're social you'll probably spend most days nosing around with Taro-sama – that one is also a pro because I at least won't have to worry about him so much, he isn't getting any younger – and though sometimes I do want to strangle you with your own intestines, you make me laugh." Naruto rolled his eyes and blew him a raspberry.

"You know me inside and out; you truly care about me, I truly care about you, we're comfortable with each other, and" he gave him a lopsided smirk, "I think I've gotten addicted to your body", he finished in a sultry tone, wriggling his ass against Naruto's groin.

Naruto moaned quietly and pulled him to recline against his chest, spreading his legs and shuddering as Sasuke began to slowly grind against his crotch.

"So yeah, you can stay", he whispered on the Jinchuuriki's ear, "But I'm happy you'll be traveling, it means I don't have to feel guilty when I want space, I'll just point you to the continent and kick your ass there", he said in a deep, husky voice, and began snickering.

Naruto pouted. "Teme why you so mean to me? I swear, I spent half my life running to defend your skinny ass, trying to make you fucking happy", he huffed in mock anger, "suffering like a soap opera heroine for you, getting my poor hide beaten like a dirty rug for you, _by_ you", and here Sasuke started laughing heartily, "being ridiculed, having Itachi shove an entire crow down my throat and coughing it up later for you, I swear, I ain't even got a gag reflex anymore -"

"Thank you, nii-san!" Sasuke yelled at the sky, and Naruto gave up pretending to be mad, joining in the laughter.

"You think Itachi knew what was going on between us?" Naruto asked when their laughter subsided.

"I don't know, but he kinda told me to trust you, and considering what he said to you… well…" Sasuke mused over it for a while, and shrugged, "If he thought we were _just_ friends I think he had some really weird views on friendship. And I can truly tell you that he didn't see you and me as brothers, man. Definitely not, the same way I never did. Even when I saw you as some kind of family to me, as becoming important to me as Itachi was, I knew it was different, I knew the word 'brother' didn't fit what I felt about you. It wasn't like what I felt about Sakura, I actually grew fond of her too, but like she was like a sister…"

Naruto cringed at that, and Sasuke snorted.

"Now you understand _why_ I was so grossed out by her romantic fantasies about us. Blegh. Ewww. I didn't like Karin's advances but I didn't see her as my _sister_, so I could at least tolerate that. And she actually knew I wasn't ever gonna reciprocate, so it was more riling me up than anything, I mean, now that I have _finally_ gone through puberty I can't imagine she didn't see something was physically wrong with me, being my personal healer and all. I mean… damn, ever since that first traumatic boner my cock has stiffened up so many times, it's like it's got a life of it's own", he said, and looked down at himself with a frown.

Naruto guffawed. "Welcome to manhood, bastard", he said, grinning, "better get used to it cause it's been like that for me every day for the last six years", he laughed, "Damn, after I realized I loved you and consequently wasn't straight I had to stop going to the onsen altogether, even Rock Lee's hairy ass got me hornyghhhhhh" he gasped as pale hands suddenly grabbed his neck.

"_**Excuse-me**_?" Sasuke asked in a dark, menacing tone, looking down at him with murderous intent.

"Wa-wait, teme, it's not what you think, it's just a natural… gaaahhhh… body reaction… gaaaahhhk… it don't mean anything!" Naruto blurted out.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, and slowly released the pressure on Naruto's throat. "Hn. Fine", he said. "However", he said in a threatening tone that chilled Naruto's bones, "If you _ever_ pursue those reactions from other people behind my back, I will Chidori your dick off and seal your asshole closed. Do you understand what I just said, _usuratonkachi_?" he snarled, and his bloodline limit flared.

Naruto gulped. "Uh, yessir", he answered, enthusiastically nodding as he panted, privately wondering when the hell had he become so insanely perverted, because watching Sasuke break into possessive fury had somehow gotten him rock hard.

The bastard must've noticed it too, because he raised an eyebrow and looked down at where their bodies touched as he straddled him. Sasuke pursed his lips, and licked them, before raising his eyes slowly back up at Naruto's fiercely blushing, meek face.

"You _like_ it when I get angry with you, don't you", Sasuke purred, and ground down on Naruto's erection, earning a submissive mewl in response. He gave him a lopsided smirk. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know!" Naruto blurted out with wide eyes, "And don't you think I'mma gonna let you go nuts again because of that, teme, cause all I know is that I can totally separate you being stupid from you being, er, like this", he mumbled the last.

Sasuke deadpanned at him. "Che, I may be new to this sex business but I am not so naive I can't see the difference between what is going on now and what happened at our last serious fight, usuratonkachi", he said. "_This_", he grabbed Naruto's cock and gave it a rough pull, "is something else. And I _like_ it", he said smugly, pumping it again when he felt it twitch in his hand.

Naruto whimpered in hopeless pleasure, as Sasuke loomed over him and pulled his head towards his own groin. Sasuke definitely wasn't lying when he said he liked his reactions, by the hard-on in front of him, and Naruto obediently opened his mouth, raising his eyes.

Sasuke let out a lusty sigh, and pushed his shaft deep inside Naruto's mouth. No gag-reflex, huh? Well, time to try that out then, no sense in not making use of nii-san's favor, right?

He gasped as he felt Naruto take every inch in without complaining or gagging, and shuddered as the head hit the back of the blond's throat. Holy shit he wasn't kidding… Sasuke gave a few short, staccato thrusts against that sinful throat, and pressed his eyes closed when Naruto made a guttural lusty sound, grabbing his ass cheeks for purchase.

It was exhilarating to… _use_ the usuratonkachi like this, and even more because the blond _liked_ it. Sasuke remembered not minding being bound last night, actually being thrilled as he was harshly pounded into the wall, the sting from the scratching against the rough surface actually enhancing the pleasure of his nerve endings being pressured as his insides were pushed, stretched, pulled.

It seemed different from what Naruto was feeling, though. He had looked aroused from the very _idea_ of Sasuke acting on his possessive instincts, and right now his eyes were burning with passion just from letting the Uchiha take his pleasure by using him. The blond's flustered face and the drool dropping from his mouth, as Sasuke opened his eyes and looked down, made his natural possessiveness spike in unbidden pleasure, pushing him closer to his orgasm.

"Mine", Sasuke growled, and thrust harder. Naruto moaned and swallowed around his cock, and it spurted a jet of cum down his throat, but just as the blond was swallowing again Sasuke pulled out to let his seed fall on the blond's face, covering his cheeks and his open mouth.

It was impossible for the Uchiha to stop from smearing the cum all over Naruto's face with his dick, the Jinchuuriki gasping and sliding his tongue out to lick whenever the angry red tip passed through his lax mouth.

Sasuke pulled his panting usuratonkachi up to stand before him, and began kissing and licking the tan face as he started guiding him out of the water and into the blanket they had stretched on the grass next to the natural pool. He pushed Naruto down on his back, and sucked on his pulse, the blond writhing under him.

Sasuke rose and fetched the glass jar from the basket they had brought their lunch in, straddling the blond right after and beginning to coat his erection with the balm.

Naruto gazed at his own cock uncomprehendingly.

"What?" Sasuke asked with a smirk.

Naruto whined in response, and the Uchiha chuckled. "Not happening", he said in a smug tone.

Naruto whined again, making puppy eyes and pouting, and Sasuke realized it pleased him tremendously to deny what the blond wanted.

On a whim, he turned away from the blonde, before straddling him again and slowly taking Naruto's cock inside his hungry hole. He stretched his back, reveling in the sensation of feeling the tan body go rigid under and inside him.

"Haahhh… Sasuke please… wait", Naruto breathed out, grabbing his hips. "Mmmnnnghhh… just… just… oh fuck", he groaned, trying to hold back from coming too soon.

"Don't move", Sasuke said after a moment, and, when Naruto finally relaxed, he began rolling his hips as if he was rubbing his thighs together, clenching his inner muscles while slowly rising and relaxing them as he impaled himself over and over.

Naruto panted, whimpered, mewled and moaned, grabbing the blanket for dear life. Clench, right, up, left, relax, down, clench, _twist_… as in every other aspect, the Uchiha proved to be a natural evil genius when it came to sex, and the poor blond's admittedly simple brain was turning into goo. He couldn't tell right from left, nor up from down anymore; it was a very good thing they were in a safe place, because the Jinchuuriki at the moment wouldn't even notice if wild horses trampled over him, let alone an attack from a stealthy enemy; all his heightened ninja senses were focused on his dick and the incredibly tight ass doing amazing things to it.

On top of him, Sasuke was having immense fun inflicting this sensuous torture to his idiot. The physical pleasure was strong and steady for him, waves of it traveling up his spine whenever he brushed his prostate against the hard shaft inside him, and the mental high of turning Naruto into a trembling, panting, incoherent puddle of liquid fire was so damn good he was firmly set into putting off the inevitable end for as long as he could.

"Huuuuunnnbbrrrllllghhhh", the blond drooled as he occasionally raised his head to see what was going on, the sight of the gorgeous back and ass sinfully riding him overloading his brain. He'd watch his cock going in and out that delicious heat, forgetting how to breathe, until the lack of oxygen made him fall back, heaving heaps and heaps of neglected air, just to raise his head, take a look at the sexy view above him, and forget how to move his lungs all over again, it was that good.

"Teme… please…" he mumbled, after a long while, his cock hurting in need for release. Sasuke then laid back over him, writhing on top of his torso and pulling his hands to hold pale hips.

"Naruto…" he breathed on his ear, "fuck me, usuratonkachi."

The blond shuddered in relief and brought his knees up, bracing his feet on the blanket before turning his head to kiss the man above him. He then secured his grip on Sasuke's hips and began thrusting into him hard and fast, encouraging Sasuke's moans.

"Fuck yes, Sasuke, talk to me, tell me what you want", he moaned, feeling the Uchiha's bangs whipping his face as he shook his head from side to side in pleasure.

"Harder", the brunet mewled breathlessly, and braced his feet on the blond's knees to push back against his thrusts.

"Oh gods, Naruto… yes, right there, so good, don't you dare stop!" he yelled, as his lover changed the angle and hit his prostate directly. He then pulled one of the hands holding his hips over his own cock, intertwining their fingers before beginning to pump it harshly.

Naruto accelerated his thrusting, chanting incoherent praises to his lover as he felt his orgasm building up, shivers running through his whole trembling body, and he was dragged over the edge as Sasuke reached his own mind-blowing orgasm on top of him with another of those guttural yells that he apparently couldn't hold in every time and that were quickly becoming Naruto's favorite sounds ever.

They came down from the afterglow high and turned their heads to the side to see their clones standing a few feet away, clapping quizzically at their performance before saluting to them and dispelling themselves.

Sasuke disengaged from the blond and entered the pool to bathe again, blushing and muttering curses at his own clone. Naruto laughed at him.

"Don't worry, you get used to it after a while", he said, giving a yelp as he joined him in the cold water. "Well, that worked out all right", he mused, tilting his head as he hugged the Uchiha from behind.

Sasuke nodded and hn'd. He wasn't too happy at the idea of sending a clone back to Konoha, but he could understand the necessity of it. At least with the chakra batteries he wouldn't have to leave his duties in the island as well.

"Come on bastard, let's go back and eat something, I'm starving", Naruto said, kissing his neck and already planning out what they would do the next day, based on his clone's memories.

* * *

><p>AN: Bet ya girls never thought a dominating bottom could be this sexy, right? Ku ku ku ku…


	22. A perfectly good tomato

**A/N**: To **Guest**: Oh I TOTALLY agree with you, why'd you think I wrote it happening like that? Rock Lee's the most ripped guy in the entire Narutoverse at his age bracket, that booty be a veritable nutcracker.

Ok so to avoid confusion, lemme explain how this is going to go:

Whenever you read about Naruto and Sasuke in the continent, you can correctly assume that they are CLONES. The originals are at the island, until further (and explicit) notice. Ok?

Good. Now let's get the show on the road :D

* * *

><p>A week later, the five daimyo went their separate ways, their respective escorts joining them at the Land of Demons' port nearest to the island, all promising to meet again every year at that date, to compare progress and negotiate further international changes. The daimyo of the Land of Demons, after being briefed of the island proceedings and the agreement signed by them, quickly added his seal to it and asked for help to implement the changes in his country as well.<p>

One of Naruto's clones accompanied every daimyo back home, to serve as liaison with the different Kage.

And so it was that, after two more weeks, the daimyo of the Fire Country stood in front of the gates of Konoha, accompanied by his small escort party.

Sai had sent a long message explaining what had happened to Kakashi, along with a short version of the daimyos' agreement. The Rokudaime had spent a large part of the day at the gate, with Sakura and Tsunade by his side and a small crowd behind them.

They all bowed to the daimyo as the party approached, and Kakashi came forward, but was interrupted before he could open his mouth.

"You have received the information I ordered sent to you. Tomorrow morning I want the leaders of all clans, ANBU, the hospital and Academy directors, and a representative of the civilians present to discuss the measures you will take to implement the changes I have decreed. These two Leaf ninja shall be present, as well as these two young heroes", the daimyo said with a stern voice and a glint in his eye that promised severe punishment if his orders weren't followed to the letter. He pointed at Shikamaru, Sai, Sasuke and Naruto as he said the last.

"Now show me to my quarters and dismiss the escort, we are all tired." The daimyo ordered, and Kakashi bowed.

Soon most of the people present had retreated into the village, but Naruto and Sasuke stood at the gates, Sasuke a foot behind the blond, he and Sakura glaring at each other.

The two people who had come to greet the Uchiha stayed to the side, aware of the tension between the two former teammates. Naruto tried to join them, but was held back by Sasuke's firm grip on his wrist.

"Sorry teme, but this is between you two", Naruto said in a quiet voice, and untangled the fingers around his wrist before taking a couple of steps to the side.

Sasuke scowled, feeling hackles rising at the back of his head.

After some time in tense silence, Sakura dropped the glare and sighed. "Damn, Sasuke, I really traumatized you, didn't I?" she said in an embarrassed tone, taking a step forward. "This is really weird, I know you are the one who should be apologizing to me for all the shit you put me through, but in retrospect if I had someone go as low as I did for you... I mean, not that Naruto didn't bother me with his fanboying", she said, giving the blond a side look, "but I… I was out of line. Like way, _way_ out of line. And I'm… I'm sorry." She mumbled the last, but kept her head held high.

Sasuke gave a relieved sigh. "Thank you, Sakura. I always thought you deserved better than what you were doing to yourself, but" he started, and sighed again, looking to the side in embarrassment, "I couldn't make you see that because you never cared about what I thought or wanted, so I… I too behaved badly when it came to you. I'm sorry", he said in an apologetic tone.

Sakura raised a hand to interrupt him. "Please spare us _some_ dignity by not delving in on the details. Apology accepted." She said, and gave him a curt bow. "Welcome home, both of you."

The pink-haired kunoichi left, and Naruto, Karin and Juugo heaved.

"Damn, that was uncomfortable", Karin commented.

"Don't you even start", Sasuke chided her.

Karin gaped in feigned innocence. "Me? I just wanted to get into your pants, excuse-me for having _normal_ hormones, you jerk" she huffed at him, and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry for leaving you two behind", the Uchiha said.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Karin was useful as a medic nin, and they kinda pardoned me for having mental issues" Juugo said, waving his big hand. "I don't like the meds Orochimaru put me on, though, they make me feel weird… but at least they work. And it's not like you could've contacted us, we've been under strict vigilance ever since the war ended, same as he was", he pointed at Naruto.

As they neared the village proper, Sasuke and Naruto were stopped by no less than nine ANBU.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, you are required to stay at the guest quarters in the Hokage tower and only move about the city with us as bodyguards", the ANBU with a tiger mask announced.

"Wait, what? But I got my own apartment, we should just stay there!" Naruto complained, and the ANBU shook his head.

"Sorry, Naruto, Hokage's orders. It's for your own protection, we can't answer for all the village citizen's actions towards a nuke-nin", the man said, gesturing towards Sasuke. "You two" he pointed at Karin and Juugo, "should take a detour to go home, the Hokage instructed for two of us to go with each of you, to prevent trouble".

"What? But the daimyo -" Naruto started.

"He's right", Sasuke interrupted in a low, calm tone. "May we have visitors, though?" he asked the ANBU.

"Sure, just give us a list of names." The ANBU answered, and directed them to the Hokage tower, the others falling into formation around them.

As soon as they set foot on the village proper, Naruto understood the need for escort.

He sighed. People certainly were quick to revert to old habits, it seemed.

"Go away traitor!"

"Your clan killed my son!

"Uchiha scum!""

"You should have died along with the rest of your kin!"

"Get off our village!"

"Cursed Uchiha!"

"The wars were all your fault!"

"Monster!"

"Hang the traitor!"

"Akatsuki criminal!"

"Kill him!"

Naruto cringed with every insult and threat. Suddenly, he felt something flying towards him, and dodged it out of reflex.

"Hn, lucky me, a perfectly good tomato", Sasuke commented as he catched it in a fluid movement, before wiping the fruit on his robes and biting on it. "Make sure to catch if they throw more, dead last", he said as he munched contentedly.

Naruto looked around at the booing crowd with a scowl and a challenging glare.

"What the hell? Stop that, he's not doing anything to you!" he yelled.

"How can you support him after all he's done, Naruto?" a jounin asked.

Naruto gaped. "He fought as hard as I did at the war! We couldn't have won without him!" he screamed.

"He's cursed, like all Uchiha were! It's just a matter of time until he turns evil again and tries to kill everyone like he tried to kill the Kage at the summit!" another villager rebutted.

Sasuke nudged Naruto to move forward, but the blond didn't move.

"The Uchiha clan wasn't cursed, they were misled and used by the real enemy! Sasuke's rid himself of hatred with his own effort! It's been almost two years since the war and he didn't hurt anyone!" Naruto screamed.

"He's a monster. Monsters can't be trusted! They aren't able to change!" a chuunin yelled.

"Leave them, usuratonkachi", the Uchiha told him quietly.

"What the hell, that's the same thing you used to say about _**me**_!" Naruto shrieked in livid anger. "Didn't I show you that's not true?"

Sasuke huffed and stepped in front of the blond, forcibly turning his face to him. "Let's go, Naruto. They're afraid. It's ok", he said in a low but firm voice. "It'll get better eventually."

Naruto's eyes brimmed with tears, and he looked around them, trying to hold them back. He shook his head and grabbed Sasuke's hand, and Sasuke nodded to the tiger-masked ANBU. They were quiet the rest of the way, Sasuke giving Naruto's hands reassuring squeezes every time the blond cringed at the insults.

No more tomatoes were thrown at them, for the young shugenja's disappointment.

* * *

><p>They were to stay, surprisingly, in a guest room at the Hokage's apartment.<p>

Kakashi himself opened the door to let them in, as Genma and Raidou led them through the corridor.

"Yo", he said, and nodded to their escort before showing them in.

"Nice digs, Kakashi", Naruto said, as they took off their sandals and walked into the living room.

Nice, indeed. Naruto had never visited the official apartment for the Hokage before, so he looked around curiously as Kakashi gave them the house tour. The rooms were quite large: dining room, living room, tatami room, two big bathrooms, a very nice kitchen and no less than four bedrooms.

"Hashirama must have had a large family", he commented, and Kakashi nodded. "Well, he did rule for the longest period", the Hokage said, and gestured them to one of the rooms.

"Er. I don't know what's the protocol for hosting clones, but I got some clothes for you to change after you refresh yourselves. And, er, sorry about the separate beds, apparently the Sandaime was still quite old fashioned", he informed them, scratching the back of his head.

"Thank you", Sasuke said in a polite voice. "We're getting used to this too, but apparently we work almost the same as our original bodies, except we run on chakra, not food and water", he said, looking at Naruto for confirmation.

The blond nodded. "Yeah. Though we can drink and eat food", he amended, and picked up a change of clothing that was set on one of the two beds. "Uh, I'm gonna take a bath and change, if Sakura-chan comes by please thank her for getting my stuff from my apartment."

Kakashi nodded quietly and led the way back to the living room, followed by Sasuke. The former copy-nin couldn't shake off the weirdness of the situation. He motioned for his former teammate to take a seat, and occupied one of the chairs across from the sofa, before removing his mask and laying it on his lap.

Sasuke watched the movements quietly, and nodded in acknowledgment of their meaning. For Kakashi, exposing his face was serious business, an honor he reserved for those he wanted to be absolutely truthful and honest with.

Kakashi took in the Uchiha's figure. His former student had reached his own height after the war, and his hair was much longer. His bangs were cut haphazardly, as if by knife and without the aid of a mirror. His face was as beautiful as before, though haggard from the tough life he obviously had been living, if he was to believe Sai's reports. He was dressed in the simplest rough-spun clothes: a brown yukata, a light linen undershirt and dark brown hakama, all very, very worn. The only adornments were his prayer beads, his battered shimenawa, which was tied around his waist, and very, very worn cloth black bracers on his wrists.

The most striking feature, however, was his peaceful expression, and his eyes, which had a warm look that boggled Kakashi's mind.

Sasuke crossed his legs and put his hands on his lap, before giving Kakashi an amused smirk.

"Sakura, huh?" he asked, and the smirk became a mirthful smile.

"Huh, eh, well, um…" the Hokage sputtered.

"What's that expression Suigetsu used back in the day? Ah. You _dog_", Sasuke said, before chuckling at the former copy-nin's blushing face.

Kakashi slapped his hand over his eyes and giggled embarrassedly, the atmosphere becoming immediately lighter.

"I'm happy for both of you", Sasuke added.

Kakashi rubbed his chin, and sighed. "I can't believe after all that happened we're sitting in my living room having light conversation like this, it's… unreal, honestly", he said, and stood up. "Would you have some tea? Sake?" he offered, and Sasuke shook his head.

"No, thank you, I had a tomato on the way. A perfectly good one too, if my master was here he'd have thrown a fit at the wastefulness", he commented.

Kakashi quickly grabbed a bottle of sake and a cup for himself, and came back. The surrealism of the situation definitely required something stronger than tea.

He poured himself a cup before looking at the Uchiha in fascination, and rested his elbows on his knees. "How did you… why…" he gestured at him, trying to convey his confusion.

"Taro-sama said it was a path to inner peace", the young shugenja explained. "So I took it."

"Did you find it?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke gave him an honest smile. "I feel I'm getting there. I still have issues I have to work on to achieve enlightenment, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to reach whole happiness, but I'm content with the life I have. The gods have been kind, and I have a home, now", he answered.

Kakashi sighed. "Konoha was your home too, you know."

"Konoha stopped being my home when my clan was condemned to death for talking about treason without the village leaders even trying to negotiate a peaceful solution", Sasuke stated in a calm voice, and Kakashi lowered his head. "Wounds don't heal if the scabs keep being picked on."

"But", he continued, "that doesn't mean you and Sakura aren't welcome to visit. We did have a sort of familial bond, the four of us. And by the way, I did apologize for how I acted towards Sakura. Not apologizing for calling you useless, though, because it was the truth, at that moment." he said in the same calm tone.

"Teme, when are you gonna stop being rude?" Naruto complained while entering the living room, and scowled at him.

"I'm not rude, I just don't do unnecessary things", Sasuke rebutted, scooting closer to the arm of the sofa when Naruto sprawled beside him, and giving the blond a challenging look.

"I see your recent marriage hasn't changed how you treat each other", Kakashi commented, and snickered in stunned amusement. THAT was another thing he'd take a long time getting used to, regardless of knowing about their feelings for each other.

"Why would it?" Naruto and Sasuke asked at the same time, wearing the same confused expression on their faces.

"Well, I don't know, I mean, people in love with each other usually behave differently", Kakashi said.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why should I treat the usuratonkachi any different just because I love him? My feelings for him don't change the fact he's an idiot", he asked.

"Yeah, Sasuke got better at the island but there's only so much you can blame on trauma, ya know", Naruto stated. "Being a conceited piece of shit is his natural state. By the way, bathroom's free, stinky", he said, poking at the brunet, who scowled at him, and then hurriedly excused himself to leave the room.

"I really, really hope your Talk no Jutsu skills are sharp as ever, Naruto. Those changes the daimyo have decreed are going to be way more… revolutionary than what Sasuke wanted to do at the end of the war", Kakashi said, taking another drink. "I have no idea what will happen after tomorrow."

"Maah, don't worry about it, it'll work out all right", Naruto said, and grinned. "So, have you decided on when you're gonna make an honest woman out of Sakura-chan yet?"

Kakashi slapped his own forehead. "Shit!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "Um, I have to go get something I ordered from a store and, er, I'll be back in an hour or something, so, uh, I'll be right back" he explained nervously, and Naruto snickered.

"Go ahead, dude, we're not going anywhere", he said, waving the Hokage off. Kakashi jumped into his sandals and left hurriedly.

* * *

><p>Sakura was grumbling as she reached the Hokage tower. Of course she had to have forgotten her bag there this morning, what with the stress of the daimyo's arrival, not to mention meeting Sasuke again after the war.<p>

She reckoned it had gone as well as it could be. Fine, she had still been impressed by his beauty, as she had always been, and she had felt the stirring of sadness at what could have been, and…

The fact was, even as she had heard him tell her, yet again, that he had never wanted her, and had read Sai's reports confirming that Sasuke did return Naruto's affections and that the daimyo had ordered the two of them to be officially inserted in each other's family registries as spouses, her deeply ingrained sense of entitlement could not but hope, that it wasn't true, that somehow Sasuke had been lying this whole time, to protect her, and that deep down she was the one for him…

She opened the door to Kakashi's apartment and slipped in quietly, still immersed in her thoughts, only to freeze as she raised her head.

Naruto was sitting on the couch with Sasuke straddling his lap, running his fingers through blond locks and peppering his face with kisses.

But the kisses weren't what crushed Sakura's last adolescent hope of winning the most wanted boy in Konoha.

It was the utterly loving, passionate, devoted gaze he held the blond in, and the sunny smile he gave when Naruto rubbed their noses together.

Sakura had never, ever dreamed of seeing Sasuke look so happy. It gave his beauty an otherworldly dimension, an angelic aura the sorts of which artists spent their whole lives searching to capture in their works.

And, as all other smiles, all other emotions besides hate, sadness or contempt, it was directed at Naruto.

Who reflected those feelings right back at Sasuke, like he always had.

At that moment, Sakura felt her last childish, selfish, insecure delusions go away, leaving her with the solid, unbreakable fact of Kakashi's love for her, a love that she realized she did return as strongly as her two star-crossed teammates did theirs.

And that realization made her understand that she did, and would always, love Naruto and Sasuke as the brothers she never had, and that both of them loved her as the sister they never had. That though Sasuke was Naruto's and vice-versa in a romantic sense, they were both _her boys_; and she vowed to protect their love just as much she knew they would protect her and Kakashi's.

For they were **_family_**.

She quietly picked her bag from behind the door, and left, with a smile on her face.


	23. Revolution

**A/N**: You guys have _NO IDEA_ how much fun I had writing this chapter. It was better than winning Monopoly by a landslide.

Thank you all so much for the reviews, and please, please tell me what you think of this one. I hope it made justice to all the characters that were neglected in the official end of the manga.

And now, for something **really** completely different:

* * *

><p>The morning sun bathed Konoha as the clan heads filed up towards the roof of the Hokage tower.<p>

Everyone who was anyone in the village was there, and a few chosen civilian nobodies as well.

And the streets below were also full of people. It was the first time ever since Konoha had been sanctioned as a hidden village by the previous daimyo that the village received a visit.

Kakashi's hands sweated as he bowed to the first clan heads to take place on the chairs set for the meeting.

"It's going to be all right", Sakura had said that morning, while helping him don his Hokage regalia.

The kunoichi had been calm for the both of them, and even now was giving him reassuring looks from where she was sitting at the left front side, together with Tsunade and Shizune, as representatives of the medic nin, Umino Iruka, representing the Academy, and Maito Gai, representing the Jounin team leaders.

Shikamaru, Sai, Morino Ibiki, Aburame Shibi and Inuzuka Tsume were on the right side, representing the different military offensive units.

Everyone seemed to be interested, however, in Naruto and Sasuke, who were seated at the table on a dais in front of the assembly flanking the daimyo, Naruto on the left and Sasuke on the right. Besides them were Kakashi's seat beside Sasuke and two Capital City officials, one on each end of the table.

Sakura had nearly bludgeoned her former teammates to death while convincing them into wearing the clothes she had personally arranged for this occasion on the previous afternoon. Both of them wore kimonos with their clan symbols embroidered on the back, Naruto's white with orange and red flames on the cuffs and hem, Sasuke's midnight blue with white cuffs and hem, his prayer beads the only detail that gave him away as anything other than a ninja.

Sakura had also cut the Uchiha's hair to give him a more civilized look, his bangs framing his face better, though his infamous duckbutt had come back the second the scissors cut his hair at the back (much to Naruto's mirth).

The meeting was being broadcasted through the Fire Country's only TV station, and there was a projection screen set up in front of the Hokage Tower so the Konoha populace could watch.

As the few last guests settled, Kakashi took his place beside the daimyo.

The daimyo rose from his chair, and everyone followed.

"We have called this meeting to announce that we and the other daimyo from the five elemental countries have come to an agreement about the changes of politics that need to be addressed for the peaceful state of affairs in the world to continue. At this moment, the treaty we have signed is being presented to the daimyo of the other nations for their consideration and, hopefully, they shall join in this effort", the royal began.

"As of today, the countries that have subscribed to the treaty will each organize a parliament where elected representatives of all classes will propose and discuss new laws to govern daily life", he continued, and a collective gasp was heard through the village.

"Those laws shall be written and enforced based on a declaration of basic rights that every single citizen shall have from now on, and that are descripted on the treaty we have signed. As of today, the major changes shall address the hidden village ninja system", the daimyo stated.

Ninja of all clans rose in uproar.

The daimyo gave the audience a steely gaze, and the noise subsided.

"As we are sure you all know, the only reason ninja activities haven't been outlawed is because of our tolerance", he said. "This tolerance has ended as we were made aware of the atrocious crimes committed against civilians and clans all throughout the five nations and particularly in the Fire Country with the genocide committed against the Uchiha clan."

Hyuuga Hiashi stood up, along with a few other clan heads.

"Daimyo-sama, the Uchiha clan plotted a coup against the Sandaime Hokage!" he exclaimed.

"Said coup was discovered before it took place, with enough time for the Sandaime and the other clan heads to negotiate a peaceful solution. Instead, the Sandaime's advisers pushed for the massacre of the entire clan, using deceitful measures against the Sandaime himself, who, due to the excessive trust he put into his personally chosen advisers, ignored the seriousness of the issue and explicitly allowed for that atrocity to happen in his own village, which, if you remember, is situated in _**OUR LAND**_", the daimyo stated.

"Our forefathers have placed their trust and safety into ninja hands nearly a century ago, and what have we got back? _**FOUR WORLDWIDE WARS**_. Wars that have destroyed our land, our people's livelihood, have created a bloodthirsty chaste that does whatever it wants with no consequence. This state of affairs has gone on for long enough! _No longer_ will ninja terrorize and upturn the world's order at will!" he roared.

Most of the audience present seemed livid at the daimyo's words, but some faces glowed with cautious hope.

Sakura glanced at Tsunade and saw her chewing on her nails with a tense face, looking from the dais to the audience as if watching a tennis match. She grabbed her shishou's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, receiving a thankful look in return.

"This man", the daimyo pointed at Sasuke, "had his life _destroyed_ by this village. His entire family was killed without a trial, and not only you were all fine with that, but none of you cared what growing up in the same place his family was murdered would do to him! He grew up entirely alone, without support, while you all knew he had been plagued with a kekkei genkai linked to mental disease. No one cared to avoid the consequences of letting this boy grow up hating his brother, who was manipulated into committing genocide against his own clan! _All_ you cared about was turning him into an assassin so his ocular powers would remain the property of this village!" he shouted.

"We, as daimyo, also carry the burden of your actions, because _we_ allowed you to rule yourselves, heedless of the insanity brewing in the hidden villages. But no longer will we close our eyes to our responsibility to _all_ our subjects, be they ninja or civilian, be they a part of a powerful clan or commoners. _We_ own this country. It is ours to do as _we_ please. And it does _not_ please us anymore to just sit back and enjoy the privileges and riches of the land without care for those who provide for us. So you can both accept and abide by the new standards we have set, and attend to your new duties as citizens of the Fire Country, or leave to whatever land will accept your kind. But _beware_, for there will be consequences to your actions. Any ninja that leaves this country shall be forbidden entry forever, either for himself or for any of their kin, and any country that harbors clans that do not agree to our conditions will be banished from the Allied Nations. We shall boycott their trade and treat them as unfriendly powers. They shall not be attacked by our forces, but any attack on us will be met with the due resistance", he completed, and sat down.

Naruto and Sasuke immediately rose.

"I, Uzumaki Naruto, as the last Jinchuuriki, made responsible for all the tailed beasts by the Sage of the Six Paths, have signed the treaty and pledged assistance to the Allied Nations and all that formally agree to it. Both I and my legal spouse Uchiha Sasuke, the last wielder of the Rinnegan and the Sharingan, who was also granted powers by the Sage, have pledged to defend **_only_** those countries, as a **_neutral_** power among them." Naruto said, and all hell broke loose.

"This is unacceptable!"

"The Jinchuuriki belongs to Konoha!"

"How dare you and that Uchiha betray your village so!"

'Brat, I have to hand it to you, you got some fucking huge coconuts to lay that ton of bricks on top of everyone like that', he heard Kurama comment as he heard the complaints with an impassive face.

'Dude, I'm almost shitting bricks here, you guys better back me up on this', Naruto thought back at him.

'Nah, don't you worry about it, we're totally on your and your mate's side, I'm relaying what you're doing to the others in real time, and by the way Gyuuki says Killer B has pledged to join your team like right now', Kurama said in a giddy voice. 'Damn this is the most fun I've had like, ever!' the fox yapped.

Naruto gave a shit-eating grin while Kakashi ordered quiet.

"By the way", he said as the noise subsided, "I have just gotten news that Killer B has pledged to join us as part of the neutral defense team for this Alliance. The hidden villages of the other five elemental nations are also having their own meetings as we speak. Please listen orderly as the Rokudaime Hokage informs you of the new rules", he stated, both he and Sasuke sitting back down.

Sakura felt Tsunade hold her fingers strongly, and turned her eyes to see her and Shizune hugging each other and panting with proud tears in her eyes. She glanced to her left and saw Iruka beaming at Naruto, while his hands were closed in worried fists. She then picked his right hand and squeezed it reassuringly, while giving Kakashi a proud smile when he gave her a quick glance, nodding her support.

The Hokage stood up, cleared his throat and unrolled a scroll.

"I shall now read the main terms of the treaty. Copies of it will be provided to all at the end of this meeting", he started.

"The first part is the declaration of basic rights now granted to all citizens of the Allied Nations, as granted by the daimyo of the Five Elemental Nations. All laws and ordinances must be made in accordance to these rights. This list is comprised, but not limited to, the following:

- Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, sexuality, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or any other status.

- Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

- No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

- All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law.

- All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

( This was received with shock by Morino Ibiki and applause from Hyuuga Hinata.)

- No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

- Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

- Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defense.

(Karin and Juugo gave Sasuke enthusiastic thumbs up)

- Every person of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality, sexuality or other reasons, has the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

- The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State, which will provide care for the orphans and encourage formal adoption."

Kakashi waited for five full minutes as enormous cheering broke, both outside and inside the Tower, making most of the clan heads look back in shock.

"In addition to the declaration of basic rights, the document states the new regulations for ninja service in the Allied Nations:

- All ninja shall have the right to choose the specialty of their work.

- Chakra abilities shall be used to serve the population as a whole, and no longer shall be trained for exclusive combat means or their training reserved for military personnel.

- Military structure shall abridge the following duties: fire fighting, disaster relief, medical services, census data gathering, policing, engineering and development of technology.

- Furthermore, civilian institutes shall be created to develop science and technology for civilian uses.

- Military personnel shall be instructed to abide by all rules and regulations pertaining to the protection of the basic rights given to the population.

- Mental and physical health of the individuals shall be protected regardless of the strategic value of any kekkei genkai.

- Periodic mental evaluations will be required for all military personnel, and individuals who need treatment shall receive it with no repercussions to their reputation.

- Furthermore, individuals deemed unfit for military or police work shall be rehabilitated and directed for other professions better suitable to their talents.

- The minimum age for military training is now set at eighteen years old, with no exceptions.

The hidden villages shall conform to the new orders and regulations within the span of six months. However, the minimum age limit for military training is to be effected immediately, and all personnel under the age of eighteen shall be removed from service. Since the daimyo has already stated the penalty towards the clans or individuals who do not agree to the terms of the treaty, I won't repeat it. Copies of the treaty will be distributed, please sign the receipt for them. Also, I will require all clan heads representing ninja of legal age that wish to remain in the Fire Country to sign this document, along with all of those who do not belong to ninja clans to do so personally", Kakashi raised a large scroll from the table, "pledging their allegiance to the government and their obedience to the terms of the treaty. You have one week to do so", he finished, and with a flourish rolled out the scroll, affixing his own signature at the top of it and sealing it with his chakra before sitting down again.

Shikamaru stood up and went to the table.

"I, Nara Shikamaru, head of the Nara clan, pledge allegiance to the government and obedience to the terms of this treaty, for myself and all the members of my clan", he stated, and signed the scroll. "Oh, and I've got my copy already, so yeah", he said lazily, shrugging, and many of the present laughed nervously.

Sai went next, and then Sakura, Tsunade, Shizune and Iruka.

Ino rose from her seat. "I, Yamanaka Ino, head of the Yamanaka clan, pledge allegiance to the government and obedience to the terms of this treaty, for myself and the members of my clan", she said as she moved to the front, and turned around to face the audience. "And the rest of you, just think what a great opportunity we've been given! With peace, there's not much use for battle skills outside police work, and our clans tend to grow because the mortality rate will decrease. This is a way for us to keep developing our traditional jutsu, to maintain our traditions, but giving them a more honorable use. For the first time we are being offered the chance to build instead of destroying, to nurture instead of killing, to put food on our tables without fear of running out of enemies or of losing our fathers", her voice broke, and she cleared her throat, "our children, our brothers and sisters", she continued, turning back to face the dais, and prostrating. "Thank you, daimyo-sama, for this priceless opportunity", she finished, before moving forward and signing the document.

After that, the other clan heads followed. It was a no brainer, really. With no more enemies to battle, the only way for ninja clans to prosper was to find other areas in which their specific skills were useful, or else they'd simply become extinct for lack of necessity. And no one wanted to be poor.

After all present had signed, the daimyo rose, but held Naruto and Sasuke down when they made to follow.

The couple sat back and looked at each other questioningly, and then shrugged as the daimyo moved along with Kakashi towards the front of the dais, stepping down from it.

"There is yet one last order of business before we end this meeting", the daimyo announced, and both he and Kakashi turned towards the dais, before Kakashi lowered his mask.

Naruto and Sasuke rose quietly, waiting.

"What has been done cannot be undone", Kakashi said, "and forgiveness is too much to ask from those who were so wronged by the ones who were supposed to protect them. But as unworthy as it may be, please accept my apology, in my name and of the previous Hokage, for what has been done to you, Uzumaki Naruto, who was sacrificed to save this village from the wrath of the Nine Tails by hosting it inside your own body through the death of your family, and instead of being celebrated, was shunned for most of your life. And to you, Uchiha Sasuke, who lost your family for the petty political squabbles of old, hard men whose lack of pity caused the worst crime to befall this village. May we atone for our sins by making sure that neither of those mistakes _ever_ happen again."

And then both the Hokage and the daimyo prostrated to them, and the audience followed.

Naruto stood gaping. Never had he imagined anyone in the village would apologise to what was done to him. To Sasuke, sure, the Uchiha massacre had indeed been the largest stain in the history of Konoha. But to have what had been done to him acknowledged as wrong, and receive a formal apology, from both Hokage and daimyo, no less… it made him speechless.

He stretched his right hand to the side as he heard a deep breath, meeting Sasuke's left halfway. They intertwined their fingers in a strong, fierce grip, before quietly nodding in unison.

* * *

><p>"Dude, like, <strong><em>DUDE<em>**, that was the most _awesomesauce_ shit I ever saw in my whole life! I swear, if I find someone who taped that end to the meeting I'mma throw bags of money at them for a copy, don't even care how much they want, my grandkids will never believe I was there to see it!" Kiba yelled in lieu of a greeting.

The Yakiniku Q was bursting with people, a huge collective table set in the middle of the restaurant for the Konoha 11 and their guests.

"Kiba what kind of idiot doesn't program their vcr to tape the most epic moment in history? Oh wait, what am I thinking…" Shino said, and sighed. "Give me a blank tape and I'll make you a copy. But you owe me. Again."

"Holy shit!" Kiba yelled, and glomped his teammate, almost toppling him, Hinata and Tenten in the process. "I love you, man!"

"Yo, be careful with the ladies, dog breath!" Naruto called out good-naturedly, and Hinata blushed when Kiba hurriedly turned around and kneeled, kissing her hand.

"Oh my fair princess, forgive your humble servant", the Inuzuka intoned, and Hinata blushed darker, and scooted over the bench to make way for him, under loud catcalls and whistles.

Beside the blond, Sasuke and Sakura were deeply engrossed in conversation.

"So Naruto says you guys make this incredible painkiller balm", she asked, and Sasuke smirked as he saw Kakashi's ears turn red beside her.

"Mitiro-sama makes it, we brought samples. It's a real miracle, works on everything and it prevents pain signals from being fired, but it doesn't numb the tissue. Don't ask me how it works of what it's made of, I'd prefer to keep my hide where it is, thank you very much", he explained, and Sakura gaped at him.

"Everything? Burns, open wounds, joint pain, stuff like that?" she asked in wonder.

"Yup, the miko use it for everything, from tooth extractions to midwifing", he explained.

"Midwifing?" Sakura asked, and gazed pensively at nowhere in particular, before looking straight at him with an interested look. "So… um, it works on mucous tissue as well?"

Sasuke nodded. "No unwanted side effects either, except heightened sensibility", he said, and gave her a poignant look, before sipping on his tomato juice.

Sakura swallowed, and turned her head to give Kakashi (who was currently pretending to listen to something Gai was telling him while surreptitiously paying attention to the conversation going on his left side) a not so discreet once-over.

"How many barrels of it can we have by the end of the month? We could definitely make heavy use of that in the" she shifted closer to the Hokage, "hospital."

Sasuke snickered. "Smooth, Sakura", he said, laughing, and she elbowed him, before joining in the laughter.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "By the way, we're very interested in those chakra batteries you showed us yesterday", he said.

"Yeah right, stop pretending you weren't daydreaming right now, O youthful rival", Gai sneered at him. "By the way I think right now is a good time for you to make your announcement, you're not getting any younger."

Kakashi's ears went through a few different shades of red, before he swallowed and cleared his throat again, in an obvious display of nervousness. Gai elbowed him, and Sakura looked in curiously.

Gai sighed, and rose, banging on his sake bottle for attention. "Excuse-me! Everyone quiet please, the Rokudaime has something important to say!" he called out, and sat down again when the restaurant went quiet.

Kakashi rose, and cleared his throat yet again.

"Yo Hokage-sama, something's trying to crawl out of your throat or what?" Naruto asked playfully, and Sasuke elbowed him.

"Um. Er. I'd like to make use of this opportunity where we are all together to do something I've wanted to for some time, now" he started, and over half the table's occupants smirked knowingly.

"Sakura-san", he started, and the restaurant exploded in clapping and wolf-whistles, Sakura taking the hand he offered and standing unsteadily with a dreamy look in her face.

"Hey! Everybody shut up and let him finish!" Ino yelled.

"Eh, as I was saying… Sakura-san, would you give me the honor of marrying me?" Kakashi said, lowering his voice towards the end.

She gave him a huge grin. "Excuse-me, I kinda didn't hear that, mind repeating it louder, please?" she said, and everyone laughed. She gave him a challenging look.

Kakashi took a deep breath. So much for bashfulness, then…

He lowered his mask and pulled her in for a Hollywood kiss. "Will you marry me, Haruno Sakura?" he asked her again, louder this time, and she happily nodded as the restaurant exploded in cheers again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

The list of basic rights for the Allied Nations was based on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I adapted it to suit the political organization of the Narutoverse.


	24. Rebuild

**A/N**: Thank you SO much for your reviews, guys! Wow, 64 reviews, keep them coming please :D Don't be shy, your reviews make me happy!

One more chapter to go and I think this story will be done. I hope you enjoy today's chapter :D

Happy Holidays to everyone!

And now, for something completely different:

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at the island…<p>

Naruto realized his admiration for Sasuke's patience. It had to be a monk thing, because he himself was starting to want to knock a tree down with his own forehead in frustration.

Working without using chakra was just. So. Fucking. _Hard_.

Fine, he was allowed to use Kage Bunshin, but that was about it after the emergency had passed, and even so he had resorted to making them henge as different people, because the kids started giving the clones odd, fearful looks after the first couple of days of work.

It made him realize all the more the horrors the exiled ninja in the island had gone through, to just give up on using chakra. The only accepted use for it was to fill the chakra batteries that powered a few machines for the elderly people to be able to keep working their trades. Everyone else worked their ass off, from dawn to dusk, and the clerics shunned no jobs whatsoever.

Naruto realized why when Sasuke and Taro-sama came back from reviving a stream at the eastern village. Their pay had consisted of half a chicken, two eggs and a pound of barley.

He stared at the dismal amount of food, unbelieving as the two men quickly put the meat to smoke and boiled the eggs for storage, while commenting on their good luck.

"Now that spring is here we should get some decent greens to go with soon enough; and this should last us the whole week, we're good", Sasuke said contentedly, and the old monk nodded.

"Yes, and with the villages being reconstructed quickly everything will be back to normal soon", Taro-sama had commented.

The reconstruction work was a collective effort; therefore, there was no pay for those involved, though the villages provided meals.

Naruto had sent clones to all villages, and was himself busy with fixing up the yamabushi's hut and building one for him and Sasuke, with help from a couple of guys from the northern village – which he had profusely thanked for, because he hadn't had a clue on how to build something that wouldn't fall apart at the first torrential rains and fierce winds that summer brought.

The two villagers had taught him how to choose the best bamboo to build the structure, how to make a good foundation with rocks, earth, cow dung and ash plaster, and how to get the rammed earth walls up for both the hut and the outhouse. They had finished the work today, and Naruto was starving.

He looked at his meager portion consisting of barley porridge, half an egg and pickled vegetables, and his stomach rumbled in dismay.

He fervently prayed that the samples he had sent with his clones, of the chakra batteries and balm, would help make life in the island easier for everyone. And that Kakashi would remember to send him the money he had saved in the Konoha bank. It wasn't a lot in the continent, but it was probably a fortune by island clerical standards. And Naruto was definitely beginning to appreciate learning about farming.

Maybe he'd be able to sell Haruka-san the idea of secretly buying a little bit of land to at least make sure their spouses and friends didn't just drop dead from malnutrition. He didn't like the idea of secrecy, and was definitely the first to share what he had, but he also knew that going overboard was a genetic Uchiha trait and if somebody didn't set a limit for Sasuke he'd probably rip his own limbs off to feed other people in the same way he had been ready to sacrifice himself by cutting all ties to shoulder the hate of the world before.

It didn't help most of the other monks and the miko were as crazy as he was, Naruto had already seen Haruka-san hauling Mitiro-sama's ass from work after three days without sleep or food, and even though he didn't comment on it, he was alarmed by how starkly Sasuke's ribs were showing under his skin, the man had already been thinner than he remembered from the war when they had met in the island but now with all the extra work, work that Naruto couldn't help with and consumed spiritual energy, he was bordering on emaciation.

"Oh, good news", he said with a proud grin, "we finished construction today, if it doesn't rain we should be ok to sleep on our own home tonight."

Sasuke tried but failed holding back a smile, and thanked the blond.

"That's good, all this sexual tension between you two was getting awkward", the old monk commented, and raised a mocking eyebrow when the couple blushed. "What? It's true, between you newlyweds up here and those two horny old women down there I was starting to think about seeking shelter in a chicken coop somewhere", he said, laughing.

"Say, hoshi-sama, didn't you ever get married or something?" Naruto asked curiously, and Sasuke choked on his water.

"Naruto!" he warned with a stern voice, but the monk laughed and waved his hand at him.

"No need to get embarrassed, boy. I know the sentiment of love, but never got married because, to be honest, I never liked the idea of physical intimacy of the sort you need to make such a relationship work", he said.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at him with surprised faces.

"Like, never? But, er, uhhhh…" Naruto started, unsure of what to say.

Taro read his confused face correctly, and chuckled. "Nah, I'm perfectly healthy. I just don't see the appeal of sharing physical pleasure, and it really doesn't bother me not to have a relationship like that at all."

Naruto tilted his head pensively for a minute, and then nodded. "You're like Gaara, then", he said. "The Kazekage of Suna, we've been friends since we were kids. I recently found out he likes guys, but it's just like you, so he's cool with just having good friends." And here Naruto turned Sasuke's slowly turning head away from him with one finger, "Don't even think about it, guys like him don't know what possessiveness is, and Gaara is like my brother, just like Konohamaru", he warned him.

Sasuke was about to retort when he suddenly swayed, and fell backwards, his eyes rolling back up his head as in a faint.

Weeks of memories and knowledge hitting him at once felt like Tsukuyomi, except instead of being a horrifying experience, this time Sasuke shook his head and sat up again with a huge grin on his face.

"How did it go?" his master asked him eagerly. Naruto was out on the floor beside him, his eyelids fluttering.

"It… it worked", the Uchiha started, and felt relief create a knot on his throat as he sorted through the memories. "Better than I could ever have hoped", he said, and went quiet, smiling stupidly, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Naruto woke a few minutes later, and sat up, whooping. "Hoshi-sama, we are in business! Kakashi is sending a ship full of supplies, and… wow, Tsunade baa-chan's gonna meet Mitiro-sama, she's coming with a few of our friends who want to be here. She's my relative, along with Karin, they wanna meet Haruka-san too, and Juugo's coming, and Sai's coming with him, they want to train under Daisuke-sama, and holy crap Iruka's coming to help rebuild the school, and", the blond stopped suddenly, and took a deep breath. "May we be excused?" he asked the monk. As the old man nodded with a knowing smile, he stood and pulled a dazed Sasuke outside with him.

He led the way to their finished hut, and pulled the brunet into a tight hug once they were inside.

They stood in the darkness, holding each other in a stunned embrace, as the memories of what had happened to their clones washed over them.

"How can we survive being this happy?" Sasuke asked in a broken, stunned whisper.

Naruto chuckled through a sob. "Daisuke-sama says we live in one of infinite possible realities, I pity the poor suckers that have to be us in the one opposite to this," he answered. "Have I thanked you for being open enough with what you felt that you could throw it on my face at our stupid fight yet?"

Sasuke sighed against his neck. "No," he mewled, and Naruto grinned when he felt the bastard's lower lip poke his skin in a pout.

"Time to correct that then," the blond whispered, and began kissing, first his ear, "Thank you, teme," his neck, "thank you for having a body smarter than both of us, " his cheek, "for not putting up with my bullshit," his temple, "for not giving a shit about my opinion of you," his eyes, "for always being honest with me," his nose, "and with yourself", he finished, and plunged into Sasuke's open lips.

* * *

><p>Back at the yamabushi's hut, a bored-looking messenger toad popped up.<p>

"You the hoshi?" he asked the monk, who nodded.

"Naruto asked me to give you this stuff, said you'd know what to do with it," the amphibian said, and handed the monk a large bag and a clipboard with a pen tied to it. "Sign, please."

"Wow, didn't know toad summons had reached such a level of organization," the elder monk commented, as he signed for the package.

"We usually don't, but then we don't usually carry cash," the toad explained as he checked the papers before saluting and leaving in a small cloud of smoke.

Taro opened the bag with a frown, and pulled out a couple of scrolls.

On the first it read:

'_Please accept this as a small down payment for the balm and battery samples brought to Konoha. Along with it are enclosed Uzumaki Naruto's savings. The rest of the payment, along with supplies to allow for the quick reestablishment of normalcy that will allow for the fulfillment of further shipments shall arrive within two weeks. _

_Best regards,_

_Hatake Kakashi, Hokage of Konoha, for the Daimyo of the Fire Country'_

The other scroll contained orders for ridiculous amounts of balm and chakra batteries of all sizes.

The monk peeked curiously inside the bag, and jumped backwards, gasping.

Inside, along with the scrolls, was enough money to buy the entire island with all its inhabitants several times over.

Taro used his staff to push the bag of cash to a corner, looking at it as if it'd bite him. It was a long time before he calmed down, and then he smiled.

No teeth would be sacrificed to rebuild the islanders' homes this time.

* * *

><p>Where many times there was a sense of hurry, now there was patience.<p>

Naruto looked on curiously as Sasuke got up after a few minutes of their kissing on the mattress, lighted a small oil lamp on the far corner of their small, humble abode, and kneeled behind the mattress, before lowering his head over his, and smiling.

"What?" the blond asked quietly, their position giving him a feeling of dèja vu that he couldn't place.

"Just remembering," the Uchiha said, and lowered slowly for a somewhat messy upside-down kiss, before turning around to reposition himself over his love.

"This right now was probably the weirdest kiss we ever shared," Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke hummed, shaking his head.

"No, this one is," he said, and gobbled a tan nose, laughing openly as he was pushed away.

"Ewwww teme that is not cool," Naruto yelped, wiping his nose and grumbling. "What's with that anyway?" he complained.

"I'm happy, excuse-me for allowing myself a silly moment, I forgot you bought the exclusive rights for those, dumbass," Sasuke said, and poked the blond's cheek.

"Whaaaa? I am not silly, you bastard!" Naruto exclaimed, and pouted. "I doubt you can name one silly thing I ever did!" he challenged with an angry face.

Sasuke sighed and sat down to take off his shirt. The nights were beginning to turn uncomfortably warm. He flourished his hands in front of his pouting spouse, before counting.

"Sexy no Jutsu, Harem no Jutsu, winning a fight by farting – Kakashi told me of your _amazing_ feat by the way - Reverse Harem no Jutsu,"

"What? You agreed on that one you bastard!" Naruto shouted.

"Love apparently causes temporary bouts of insanity," Sasuke retorted without skipping a beat.

"Hrrmmmph," Naruto grumbled, but pulled the man down for a kiss.

Tongues played lazily against each other, hands slowly traveled through mapped and uncharted territories, noting tiny new details, a light fuzz on pale legs as they undressed each other, the rough texture of tan hands, by now used to work with the earth, the soft whipping of newly cut blue-black hair.

Naruto ran his five-o'clock shadowed stubbly chin over Sasuke's nude neck and the Uchiha moaned loudly.

'Note to self: stop shaving', Naruto thought with a smug grin, before sucking on the pale skin, feeling the shudder under his lips.

"Is it weird that sometimes I just want to curl up against you and purr like a kitten?" Sasuke asked in a whisper, and Naruto raised his head to look at him, taking note of his half-lidded, warm gaze.

The blond tilted his head. "I dunno, but you are really cuddly when we sleep, so maybe it's a good sign. Maybe you're going back to how you were, you know, _before_," he said quietly, and slid to the side, propping his head on his hand by his elbow.

Sasuke looked pensive for a bit. "Yeah. I don't remember much anymore about before, but what I do remember is that I was actually sort of embarrassingly _clingy_," he said, and snorted. "It's all your Uzumaki's fault for being all touchy-feely, probably runs in your blood."

"Why do you say that?" Naruto asked, making circles on his chest with his index finger.

Sasuke looked down at his chest and at his face poignantly. "First it was you with all your groping and grabbing and hugging when we were genin, couldn't get a scratch on me without you getting all over me… how the hell didn't anyone notice we'd end up together, it was so _obvious_," he said, and rubbed his face with a hand, chuckling. "Then it was Karin, and I thought it was just her fangirling, but then every once in a while here at the island when Haruka-san saw me get depressed, or having a panic attack, or a nightmare, she'd cuddle me like I was a little kid," he smiled sadly. "At first I had to force myself not to push her away, because it reminded me of Itachi and my mom… but after a while I realized that that was a good thing, and I felt safe."

Naruto smiled. "It's good. I never had a before, so I don't really know how it is to have memories to fall back to. I mean, Ero-sennin wasn't really keen on physical contact, not unless it was with women," he snickered, "and that was pretty much the same with everyone at the village. People are really different here; they greet you with hugs even if you saw them the day before. I mean… the most distant person I've met around here in terms of physical contact was Mitiro-sama, and I kinda understand why; her presence is really intense in a way, so I think she prefers to watch people interact from afar in fear of overwhelming them. Must've been damn weird for you to adapt, I like physical contact and sometimes I get the eebie jeebies."

Sasuke nodded, and pulled Naruto's right leg to entwine with his. "In the beginning the only people I talked to were Taro-sama, Mitiro-sama and Haruka-san. It took me a good six months to stop feeling threatened whenever someone approached me. I think that's also why Mitiro-sama took me to train under her; she's comfortable to be with because she enjoys just being quiet. And yeah, I think she knows people feel uneasy with her aggressiveness, so she tries to blend into the background. She was the first person to make me feel truly safe to open up with," he said. "By the way, Haruka-san is trying to convince her into taking a couple of apprentices to send to the continent in a few years." He gave Naruto a shy look. "I've been thinking about proposing the same to Taro-sama, after I finish my apprenticeship, I mean… it'd be nice to have people that are trained around the continent now that things are going to really change."

Naruto widened his eyes, and then grinned widely. "Teme, that's a damn great idea, ya know? I mean, I know I can move people, but you're learning all those techniques to help heal people's minds and put ghosts to rest and stuff, and with all you've gone through and learned, you'd be the perfect hoshi-sensei! It'd be really helpful to everyone!" he exclaimed, and Sasuke snorted.

"No, no, hear me out, bastard. I really like that idea, we could build a small temple up here in the mountain to train them, and then… oh but I don't know if there are other temples in the continent…" he said, frowning.

"Well, I'll know if there are any standing when I finish my apprenticeship," Sasuke said, and smirked. "All Shugendo monks must finish their apprenticeship with a pilgrimage through the continent, to visit the holy mountain shrines and present themselves to the various gods."

"Hmmm that's great, when do we leave?" Naruto asked quietly, lowering his finger to circle the Uchiha's navel, smiling lecherously when the man stretched sensuously.

"What 'we', usuratonkachi? It's a pilgrimage, not a vacation," Sasuke said.

Naruto didn't answer, just smirked and let his finger trail downward, while giving his love a quizzical look.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, and opened his mouth, only to have Naruto's tongue invade it.

"You talk too much," the Jinchuuriki breathed when they broke the kiss, and the Uchiha gaped.

"_I_ talk too mmmphh?" he started, but was interrupted by Naruto's tongue plunging down his throat again, so he decided to pinch the owner of said tongue in the nipples instead.

Naruto hummed and pushed his thigh against Sasuke's groin, before moving his right hand around his waist and down his back to rest it against his ass as they grinded, and moaned when hot lips left his own to lick their way down his neck, where they latched and sucked hard, before playful teeth began nibbling their way down to his collarbone.

Sasuke kept exploring Naruto's neck and shoulders with his mouth, while teasing the rest of his body with well-placed touches and pinching, until the heat and throbbing in his groin and ass demanded his full attention.

"Naruto, you shove that fat cock of yours up my asshole right now or I'll give you a repeat of last Thursday", he threatened, and Naruto took a shuddering breath before reaching over to grab a small dollop of balm, and then coating his erection.

Last Thursday, Naruto had mocked Sasuke's lack of training due to his new profession.

It had been a big mistake.

Sasuke had kept his cool, and a couple of hours later Naruto was ambushed, and before he could react, he had been tied up with chakra wire, hanging three feet above the ground between two trees. The Uchiha had then proceeded to ride his dick until he passed out from excruciating pain and pleasure.

As amazing as it had been, it wasn't an experience the blond wanted to have again anytime soon. His wrists and ankles had hurt like a sonofabitch over the entire weekend, and his back had joined the choir over the rest of the day and all through Friday.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, contemplating the opportunity of a small revenge of his own, and smirked, before turning Sasuke around so his back was turned to him, and locking his long legs with his own, stronger ones, and slipping his arms under the brunet's armpits, effectively immobilizing him stretched against his body.

"You're so mean to me, Sasuke…" he breathed against a pale ear, and his smirk grew when he got a moan in response. He began rubbing the head of his cock against the twitching hole.

Sasuke threw his head back, shuddering in anticipation. "You damn fucking blond teaAAAAHHHH!" he screamed, as Naruto slammed in deep, the position making his passage even tighter than usual. "Fuck, yeah!" he moaned aloud, relishing the fullness and the shocks of pleasure shooting up from his rectum.

Naruto panted and groaned at the spasms strangling his dick inside that hot, oh so tight hole.

"Haaaahhh teme, your ass is chewing me _soooo good_, I'm seeing stars…" he moaned, tightening his grip on the squirming body that so perfectly encased him.

"Quit stalling and start pushing then, I want to see some too," Sasuke groaned in a deep, sexy voice that made Naruto tingle all over.

"Mmmmm tell me how it feels then," the blond demanded, but began slow, deep thrusts anyway, knowing the position would make him feel every inch of pressure.

Sasuke gave a shuddering sigh. "Mmmnnnn damn, usuratonkachi, you're so fucking deep… give me more…" he panted, writhing against the blond, trying to speed up the pace.

Naruto obliged by rolling his hips in a circular motion. "Like that?" he asked, feeling molten lava running into his veins at the sounds his love was making, the knowledge he was the only person that made the usually taciturn warrior lose his composure and become this vocal making the dirty talk he spewed during sex even more sexy.

"Fuck, yes, yes!" Sasuke whimpered, clenching and using his legs to help tighten his passage even more.

Naruto lowered his right hand to grab on pale hips, groaning in ecstasy as Sasuke used his now free arm to pull his head closer by his already longer blonde locks.

"Oh gods, right there, go faster, Naruto!" the Uchiha moaned loudly, the pleasure driving him out of his mind and making him forget everything but the feeling of his inner flesh being pulled, pushed, twisted with the pressure of the hot, impossibly hard shaft pumping inside his hole, the jolts of nerve impulses traveling from his prostate straight into his testicles and up his own leaking cock.

Naruto whimpered at the incredible heated constriction. "Sing for me, koibito," he whispered breathlessly on Sasuke's ear, before speeding up his thrusts and snaking a hand to grab his penis.

Sasuke gasped, feeling the pleasure hammering his guts, shooting up his body, and then he couldn't hold back the guttural yells forced out of his throat as Naruto pumped them into completion. He came with a loud, desperate roar, his entire body seizing with burning pleasure, and kept yelling as the blond didn't stop his pounding rhythm, but kept going, and going, and going, until the Uchiha's body yielded a second orgasm, the sheer intensity of which made it buck and writhe so hard, tingling from his toes to the roof of his roaring mouth, he hardly noticed his lover releasing inside him with a primal shout of his own.

Naruto held his lover's trembling body glued to his, kissing his neck tenderly and whispering soothing words in his ear, wiping the tears that ran over flushed cheeks as they rode the aftershocks of their orgasms into deep, satisfied, dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>They found Taro cooking breakfast in front of the yamabushi's hut the next morning.<p>

After they exchanged morning greetings and sat to eat, the old monk looked inquisitively at them.

"So this toad came up shortly after you left, to deliver a bag," he said.

Naruto jumped up. "Holy crap, finally!" he exclaimed, and ran inside the yamabushi's hut, coming back with it right afterwards and unceremoniously dumping the contents on the ground, starting to count the money and separate it into two piles, mindless of his spouse's shocked look. Sasuke's clone hadn't participated in the negotiation with Kakashi and the daimyo.

"Cool, he sent my money too," the blond said in a satisfied tone as he finished, the two piles having turned out to be almost the same size, and turned to grin at the two monks. "Now we can get some furniture in, maybe even flooring!" he said excitedly.

Sasuke snorted, and both he and his master started laughing, still startled.

"Usuratonkachi," the Uchiha said, "where the fuck did you get all that?" he asked.

"Um, it's my savings. I never had much to spend on, and after the war baa-chan raised my post to jounin retroactively, so I got a lot of back pay. Then I went to live above Ichiraku's, I paid rent but it was cheap, and old man Teuchi gave me all the free ramen I could eat, so with the missions I had and stuff," Naruto shrugged, "I was able to save some more. It's not much, but I hope we can get some stuff done with it," he said, and grinned widely.

Sasuke deadpanned at him. "Naruto, that's enough money to buy the entire island," he explained, and the blond gaped at him.

Taro nodded. "And everything in it, including us, probably. A couple times over, too, for each amount," he said, pointing at the two piles. "By island standards, you're filthy rich, young man."

Naruto gazed at them, and then laughed. "Nah, you've got to be kidding," he said, and gaped again when the two men slowly shook their heads, looking very seriously at him.

"You think we can rebuild the homes that were destroyed with only this amount?" he asked, pointing at the pile representing the partial payment for the samples they had taken to Konoha.

"Naruto, that's enough money to implement water and sewage treatments, an electricity grid, restore all the fertile grounds for farming, repopulate the cattle farms, build large, safe homes for every single family in this island," the old monk said. "And you'd still have at least half of it left."

Naruto stood up slowly, and turned to them with twinkling eyes.

"Yatta, dattebayo!" he screamed, jumping up in the air in joy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:

_Koibito_ means lover in Japanese.

_Yatta_ is the equivalent of "Hooray" in Japanese (it can be used as "I did it!" as well)


	25. Leave the past, Embrace the future

**A/N**: Welcome to the last chapter! I hope it lives to your expectations.

And no, I didn't pair everyone. Please assume that people who aren't officially shown as paired are still single and happily dealing with their lives without worrying too much about settling down. Which is just about the norm for 20-somethings with busy lives everywhere :D

And now, for the end of The End:

* * *

><p>Months later, the original Sasuke stepped through Konoha's gates for the first time in six years.<p>

It was the week of the second celebration of the end of the Fourth Ninja War, and Naruto's birthday.

Many things had changed, both in the continent and in the island in the previous months.

The first, and least surprising of all, had been a formal request by Maito Gai, Rock Lee and other ninja of all nations to organize what they called "The Peace Games", to be held biannually in the Capital City of each country that was part of what was quickly known as the Alliance.

Ninja and civilians everywhere had quickly adhered to the idea, as it catered to their naturally competitive nature without risking their lives. Already teams for different sports, both ordinary and based on ninja abilities, were being formed.

Another thing was the implementation of public services. The clans had been meeting every week, and different teams had been sent to many villages to gather data over what the population needed.

The tracker clans had forged strong bonds. The Hyuuga found that the Byakugan had a wide variety of uses besides fighting, from tracking smugglers to medical services. Not only that, but since the branch family members had less specific training requirements, they were even more flexible and useful than the main family members. Hinata had sent Naruto many letters about the small revolution of its own that had been occurring, and her own happiness as a brand-new rescue paramedic, working together with Kiba and Shino.

Along with Naruto and Sasuke were Tsunade, Juugo and Iruka, who had decided to move definitely into the island – which had been named Yume no kuni, the Land of Dreams, by the other nations. Islanders thought it the height of ironic comedy – in search of either spiritual training, in the case of Juugo, or to reconnect family ties, of the other two.

Karin, Sai and Ino were also in their party. Sai had decided to accompany Ino in studying under the monks and miko to better understand how to use her kekkei genkai to help people with emotional and psychological issues, and Sai had gone to try to better understand himself.

Karin had at first wanted to live definitely in the island, but after Haruka had shown her the Uzumaki genealogy scrolls, and told her of the few scattered Uchiha alive in the continent, she had enthusiastically taken for herself the chore of scouting the survivors of both clans. She would be leaving the Fire Country, after the ceremonies they were to attend in Konoha.

_"__Are you absolutely sure you wanna go alone? Cause ya know, we're gonna be walking up and down the continent too after all the mountains this bastard's gotta visit, it wouldn't be any trouble for us to help you out, I mean, it's our families," Naruto had offered when she had told them of her plans, at the house she shared with Tsunade at the central village, near Amaterasu's temple._

_"__Nope, it's better I go alone, you two are too well known. And no offense, but I kinda feel the need to be alone for a while. Finding out you still have family after being alone for so long is… kinda overwhelming, you know?" she said, and Sasuke nodded. _

_"__Yes, it is. But anyway, if you need anything, there'll be at least a clone of this idiot in every country, so don't give in to your family traits and use a summons to call it if you need anything, ok?" he had said. _

Not everything was warm and fuzzy feelings, though.

Sasuke was discussing the proceedings for the ceremony to be held at the ruins of the Uchiha compound, on the day after they arrived, when an angry Naruto burst into the Hokage's office and unceremoniously threw him over a shoulder, carrying him away despite his protests.

A couple of minutes later, the blond dropped him on a stool at Ichiraku's.

"Here. **You** deal with them. And _YOU_," he said, looking at the assembled kunoichi around them, "let me eat my fucking ramen in peace, ok?" he growled, grabbing his unfinished bowl and moving to sit at the corner of the stall.

Sasuke looked around, suddenly intimidated by the looming presence of many curious females. "What?" he asked, frowning.

Sakura gave him a Cheshire grin. "Nothing. We just want to know which one of you tops." She asked.

"And what makes you think we'd tell you?" he asked in a tired voice, knowing it would be no use to try to wriggle himself out of this, at least while Naruto was eating.

The blond had been stationed at Ichiraku's since breakfast, having sent previous word of their arrival so the stall owner could stock up, and Sasuke had given up counting how many bowls had been consumed at about the time he had been halfway through his only portion. From then to now it had been half a day already, and the blond gave no signs of being sated.

"Oh, you'll tell us," Anko said with a smirk, while cracking her knuckles. "We have money invested on it, so 'fess up, Uchiha"

He gave them a bored look.

"Naruto," he said, and left the stall before the women recovered from their shock.

That night, a very angry blonde entered their guest rooms at the Hokage Tower (Teuchi having long since rented out Naruto's old apartment).

"You had _ONE_ job, damn it! _ONE. FUCKING. JOB_. To tell them to fuck off without saying anything. But _no_, you had to tell them! Have you got any idea how many hours those rabid women tortured me for details on our sex life? I have never been more embarrassed in my life!" he growled, shooting eye-daggers at the Uchiha.

Sasuke shrugged. "I had more important things to do and it took them off my back," he gave him a mischievous smirk, before heading into the bathroom, dropping his clothes on the way.

It took all of five minutes for Naruto to stomp into the bathroom, completely pissed off, but also buck naked.

"Damn asshole, turning my genius anti-fangirl strategy on my face," the blond muttered, grabbing the washcloth to rub Sasuke's back, grumbling as the man snickered.

* * *

><p>And then it was the tenth day of October.<p>

It was sunrise when the small procession left the Hokage tower.

The six people following the monk were still rubbing their heads. Laughing at Sasuke in full Shugenja garb had been inevitable, even if the Uchiha had cut his hair and so the teeny tiny round, pointed hat had to compete with his duckbutt and shorter bangs to be noticed.

At least his order didn't demand the novices to shave their heads, he thought. Even so, he had whacked all his six ex-teammates upside the head with his staff, for the principle of the thing.

Suigetsu complained the most, having had to run like crazy away from both Sasuke's fireballs (Kakashi had made him promise NOT to use Amaterasu on the Mist nin, for fear of having to rebuild the village yet again) and Naruto's Rasenganns the moment the couple laid their eyes on him. It took him a good three hours to finally drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness, having come out of it with his entire body covered in sticky red pepper powder, which was still embedded in his body – yes, IN his body, because Suigetsu, being himself, tried to liquefy to get rid of it, and it spread to his insides as well – this morning.

Of course, due to Kakashi's insistence that he tasted some weird yoghurt-based dish at breakfast, he was now at the end of the throng, whining and cursing every time he farted

They made their way to the old Uchiha district, now in ruins, and entered through the back gate, after Sasuke stopped and said a small prayer.

Naruto and Juugo respectively played the small drum and the rattle to call the ancestor spirits of the Uchiha clan, while Sasuke held the small brazier for the holy herbs with which he adjusted the energy in all the murder sites to free the souls.

Naruto and Karin held back their tears as they, like all Uzumaki could, saw the ghosts coming out of the ruins to follow them. Men, women, children, elders moved alongside the living, many of them cheering the end of the Curse of Hatred.

Two hours passed until they reached the main house ruins.

The procession – living and ghosts, held back by Juugo's rattle – stopped respectfully outside the site, while Sasuke entered, followed by Naruto.

"Oh my gods, it's Sasuke's parents," Karin whispered quietly.

Sasuke quietly went through the room, doing his best to ignore Naruto's sobbing.

"You're Kushina's little boy, Naruto, aren't you?" Mikoto's ghost asked him with a smile, while Fugaku's watched their son with a humbled, awed expression.

Naruto nodded in silence, trying to keep as composed as he could in order to keep the rhythm of his small drum.

"Thank you so much for taking care of our son," she said, and hugged him, before viciously elbowing her husband. "Get over here and greet your son-in-law, Fugaku! Have you forgotten your manners just because you died?" she muttered, and Naruto couldn't hold back his smile. No wonder Sasuke's and his own mom were best friends.

Fugaku came closer and bowed to Naruto. "No need to bow back, son, your work is more important," he said, and Naruto nodded, the tears rolling down his cheek. "Please… please tell Sasuke I'm very, very proud of him. And that we thank him for freeing us to be with Itachi," the ghost asked, and Naruto nodded again.

They left the house in silence, and went forward, to finally stop at a tall stone, engraved with all the names of the victims of the massacre, including Itachi.

Next to it was a bucket of water and a ladle, and Sasuke lowered the brazier to the ground, motioning for Naruto to stop the drumming, before he began washing the monument with the water, while saying the prayers that would finally set the souls of his kin free, once and for all.

The Uzumakis cried as they saw Mikoto and Fugaku hug their son, before their ghosts dissipated in the morning light.

Afterwards, everyone laid a white lotus flower each at the foot of the small memorial.

Naruto hugged the monk tightly. "Your dad said he's proud of you, teme. And your mom is feisty like mine, heh. They asked me to thank you for freeing them so they can be with Itachi," he said quietly, and Sasuke looked at him, startled.

"It's true, I saw it too," Karin said, and smiled. "You did a great job, they all left happy."

It was then that the last Uchiha of Konoha let the last of his barriers fall, and burst into tears into the arms of his lover and his friends-turned-family, as he finally cried his last goodbyes to the ghosts of his past, in order to fully embrace his future.

* * *

><p>The fifth anniversary of the end of the war was commemorated at the island. Too many Uzumaki and Uchiha had decided to move there after being found by Karin to make the trip to Konoha a viable option, so all of Naruto's friends decided to hold the party there instead.<p>

Haruka and Naruto had bought a small farm at the northeast end of the island to feed the island's clerics, and the other family members decided to add to it. Soon it was a fairly large amount of land, with a cluster of homes in the middle that already looked suspiciously as another village in the making.

Black-haired and redheaded barefooted kids played soccer in the little dirt road that led to the main house, and cheered when the guests arrived.

"What the hell were you doing in the kitchen, dead last? Stop hogging all the food, you damn glutton!" Sasuke complained while dragging the blond out by an ear, having been called in by an angry Karin, who was serving as the last line of defense against both Naruto's and her husband's, the huge blacksmith Uchiha Atsushi, attacks on the baked goods cooling on the tables.

"It's not my fault! Auntie Chiyoko makes the best pastries anywhere!" Naruto yelped, crumbs dotting his guilty-looking face.

"Wait, Uchiha Chiyoko is baking?" Sakura exclaimed as she arrived at the main house, and rushed up the stairs, pushing pink-haired little Obito onto Sasuke's lap before chucking off her shoes and hurrying in after the legendary baker.

"Why the hell does everyone push their kids on top of me?" Sasuke complained to Kakashi, who gave him a tired look.

"Wanna trade? I'll get the brat, you carry her bags," the former copy-nin said, before dragging a multitude of luggage in.

"Naruto you get down here to help with the setup or else there ain't gonna be no ramen for you!" Choji yelled from the back of the house, where he, one of Sasuke's cousins, one of Naruto's uncles and old man Teuchi were trying to make sense of the portable kitchen's assembly instructions. The blond kissed his spouse's lips and hurried out.

Five hours and a lot of arguments later, the party was finally going strong, everyone pretty much drunk off their asses except for Juugo and Lee, who were dizzy too, but from spinning all the kids, and Gaara, who was busy discussing the educational needs of the Wind Country with Iruka while bouncing his niece, Shikamaru and Temari's first born, on his knee.

Sasuke got up and discreetly stalked after Naruto, who had gone down the cellar to get more sake.

He pushed a crate of bottles he had already left strategically close out the door, and locked it before turning off the lights and searching for the Jinchuuriki.

Naruto had just turned around a shelf when he saw a couple of candles lit on the floor, beside their old inflatable mattress, and frowned in confusion when the lights went out, only to smile knowingly when he felt strong arms hugging him from behind.

"Happy birthday, usuratonkachi. Are you happy?" Sasuke greeted with a husky voice on his ear, and Naruto sighed contentedly.

"Yup. Now hurry up and make me even happier, ttebayo," the Uzumaki said, before pulling him into a kiss.

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><p>They lived as happily ever after as any normal couple within large clans, full of somewhat crazy, different people, could live.<p>

And the world settled into a manageable peace, where ninja and civilians respected and cherished each other as much as human nature allowed, and wars became a rarity.

Which is pretty much exactly the best they could ever hope for.

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><p>AN: You can see the full Shugenja garb Sasuke wears in a link at the bottom of my profile.

And yes, Shugenjas do use wooden staffs, it's just not shown in that particular picture. You can google to see the various models :D


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